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Being Grandma… The Gift That Keeps on Giving

By Lily Bradshaw September 26, 2024 Family

From the moment that tiny hand clasps your finger, you are smitten. As those gorgeous big eyes stare up at you, you know you will do anything in the world to protect them. It is the same endless, unconditional love you had for your own child, with all the wisdom, knowledge and maturity of age. What a powerful combination!

From that very first meeting, they are all you can think about. You want to make sure they are warm, fed and nurtured. You want to hug them, love them, do anything and everything you can. However, you might be their grandma, but you are not the one with day-to-day care, and that can be really hard. We want everything to be perfect for them. We know all the mistakes we made when we were young mums.

They Will Learn, Too

And yet we did it! We raised that helpless little creature to think for themselves, grow up into adults and have beautiful babies of their own. For sure they will make mistakes, just as we did, but that’s what life is all about, and they will learn, just as we are still learning to be parents today, however old they get! They are the ones with the tough job, while us grandmas can just sit back and love every minute.

We can be the ‘good guy’, not the one who has to discipline, make tough choices, do the school runs, produce packed lunches, wash the laundry. We don’t have to decide where they live, what they eat, fight their fights, encourage them to do their school homework. We have done all that and now it’s time for the fun bit.

Time

Being grandma is about time. We can untidy the kitchen making cakes; who cares if the mixture goes everywhere, or the cake doesn’t rise? Plenty of time to sort that out the next day. We are patient, because we have time to be.

We are the one who can tell endless bedtime stories, while the poor parents are getting uniforms ready, sewing on name tags or hunting for lost homework. We are the snuggle-up-tight-until-they-fall-asleep ones, while exhausted mums and dads prepare for the crazy early morning dash.

How lucky we are! We have all the time in the world to watch our beautiful grandchild grow, in a way that parents rarely have the opportunity as they rush about, falling in to bed exhausted. We would do anything to give a three a.m. bottle…just one more time.

A Good Listener

As grandchildren grow older, we are the sounding block; listening to them wail how their parents don’t understand them, providing a safe place for them to say whatever they like. We know that much of what they say will probably be different tomorrow. That is often the way of teenagers.

Being a grandma is the gift that keeps on giving. From the second they are born we are always in the background, permanent, reliable and nonjudgemental. We love them and they know it. Whatever else happens in their lives, they know they can rely on us.

Spare a Thought

Remember how hard parenting was. Spare a thought for your adult children as they struggle to raise a family, keep the home nice, go to work, pay the bills, and still find time for each other. Offer support when you can, listen to their moans or worries without judgement or interference; there are always two sides to every story.

Your child has given you something that is so precious and money cannot buy. You will watch this tiny scrap grow into an adult and maybe one day have children of their own. Be thankful, enjoy every second of being Grandma. I know I do!

Join the Conversation:

What is your favourite thing about being Grandma? What is the hardest thing? How do you support your children in raising their family?

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Beverley

I have four beautiful grandchildren and one due in November, and there is no greater sound than hearing them say Nanna the minute I walk in the house. I live in Maryland, and they are in Kentucky and Texas, but I retired in June so that I could be available for my daughters should they need or want me to visit. I think the greatest thing about being promoted to the role of grandparent is watching your children navigate their new role as parents. With all of the information they have available at their fingertips, they still need some help from mum occasionally. My mother died when I was 19 and did not see me as a wife and mother, so I am very thankful to be able to share in this stage of my daughters’ lives.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Beverley, thanks for joining the conversation.How wonderful to have four beautiful grandchildren and another on the way. I send you my love and thoughts for their arrival in November.It is lovely watching all the hard work we did as mums materialise, and seeing our own children as parents. Enjoy every precious moment. Lily x

Anne Erez

Being a Nannie is so different from being a mum to my three adult boys. I currently have 5 with possibly more when my 35-year-old baby decides to have, or not have children. The two youngest girls, at 3 & a half and 2 are my special little people and the joy it gives me when they see Nannie Annie come to collect them from Daycare and the games we play afterwards is like nothing else I had with my boys. Different times and different attitudes towards enjoying their loving little personalities.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Anne, thanks for joining in.Lucky you to have 5 grandchildren! What a lot of fun you must have, as I am sure they do too! Enjoy every moment. Lily x

Diane

I LOVE being a grandma of 5!!! We are not in the same towns but whenever I can show up at an event, a birthday or just a plain old visit…it brings me endless joy. The 16 year old is only a 2 hour drive away, the 10yo, 7yo, 6yo and 2 year old are a plane flight away -thank goodness for easy travel. I LOVE seeing my daughters as moms, they are both amazing, naturals. Of course I look back and wish I’d been this relaxed and patient when I was raising my girls BUT this opportunity to have fun and truly know/appreciate what a treasure it is -well, it’s just fabulous. I feel so fortunate to be filled with this much happiness from the kids and their boundless love. A definite perk to raising your own kids is becoming a grandparent. Who knew?

lilybradshaw88

Hi Diane, thanks for joining the conversation. What a wonderful grandma, and mum, you are! Your kids are great mums because of the work you put in, nows time to enjoy all that fun! Lily x

June

Thank you for a great article! I am Grandmother Honey of 12 amazing grandchildren! We all live in the same town as do my husband’s siblings and their children. So much fun, we say yes to everything because we don’t want to miss a memory maker! I think that no matter how one feels, it’s okay, because deep down there is Love!💖

lilybradshaw88

Hi June, Thanks for joining the conversation and your kind words. I am thrilled you like it :) Grandmother Honey, how wonderful! Fun aways creates memories, and when us grandmas are no longer around, all those memories are! Lily x

Diana

I love being a grandma of 4. They are 8,12,13 and 20. my oldest was the hardest as he was very ADHD and ODD. He has grown to be the kindest, most loving man. my youngest is from my daughter who passed away when he was 10 months old. She passed on her beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. He is a reminder of her every time I see him. For me being a grandma is a do over. My kids had a hard life they have all grown into beautiful, respectful adults. I am proud of each of them. And I will help them in anyway to help raise their children.

June

Diana, how lovingly written. So very sorry for your daughter loss. What a gift to have a grandmother as kind as you!💖🕊

lilybradshaw88

Hi June, just wanted to sat how much I love your comment. Lily x

lilybradshaw88

Hi Diana, thanks for joining the conversation. Firstly, I am so sorry your daughter passed away. I am sending you a hug and my love. What a beautiful grandma you are, with your wisdom, kindness and love. I am sure they are as proud of you as you are of them! Lily x

The Author

Lily Bradshaw has had an interesting and varied career. Twenty years working as a psychotherapist and part time lecturer, followed by 20 years of writing educational courses. Now she is enjoying semi retirement writing books and articles that interest her, mostly about having fun and enjoying life. She has spent the last 2 years travelling solo.

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