Being Grandma… The Gift That Keeps on Giving
From the moment that tiny hand clasps your finger, you are smitten. As those gorgeous big eyes stare up at you, you know you will do anything in the world to protect them. It is the same endless, unconditional love you had for your own child, with all the wisdom, knowledge and maturity of age. What a powerful combination!
From that very first meeting, they are all you can think about. You want to make sure they are warm, fed and nurtured. You want to hug them, love them, do anything and everything you can. However, you might be their grandma, but you are not the one with day-to-day care, and that can be really hard. We want everything to be perfect for them. We know all the mistakes we made when we were young mums.
They Will Learn, Too
And yet we did it! We raised that helpless little creature to think for themselves, grow up into adults and have beautiful babies of their own. For sure they will make mistakes, just as we did, but that’s what life is all about, and they will learn, just as we are still learning to be parents today, however old they get! They are the ones with the tough job, while us grandmas can just sit back and love every minute.
We can be the ‘good guy’, not the one who has to discipline, make tough choices, do the school runs, produce packed lunches, wash the laundry. We don’t have to decide where they live, what they eat, fight their fights, encourage them to do their school homework. We have done all that and now it’s time for the fun bit.
Time
Being grandma is about time. We can untidy the kitchen making cakes; who cares if the mixture goes everywhere, or the cake doesn’t rise? Plenty of time to sort that out the next day. We are patient, because we have time to be.
We are the one who can tell endless bedtime stories, while the poor parents are getting uniforms ready, sewing on name tags or hunting for lost homework. We are the snuggle-up-tight-until-they-fall-asleep ones, while exhausted mums and dads prepare for the crazy early morning dash.
How lucky we are! We have all the time in the world to watch our beautiful grandchild grow, in a way that parents rarely have the opportunity as they rush about, falling in to bed exhausted. We would do anything to give a three a.m. bottle…just one more time.
A Good Listener
As grandchildren grow older, we are the sounding block; listening to them wail how their parents don’t understand them, providing a safe place for them to say whatever they like. We know that much of what they say will probably be different tomorrow. That is often the way of teenagers.
Being a grandma is the gift that keeps on giving. From the second they are born we are always in the background, permanent, reliable and nonjudgemental. We love them and they know it. Whatever else happens in their lives, they know they can rely on us.
Spare a Thought
Remember how hard parenting was. Spare a thought for your adult children as they struggle to raise a family, keep the home nice, go to work, pay the bills, and still find time for each other. Offer support when you can, listen to their moans or worries without judgement or interference; there are always two sides to every story.
Your child has given you something that is so precious and money cannot buy. You will watch this tiny scrap grow into an adult and maybe one day have children of their own. Be thankful, enjoy every second of being Grandma. I know I do!
Join the Conversation:
What is your favourite thing about being Grandma? What is the hardest thing? How do you support your children in raising their family?
Tags Grandchildren
I loved it initially, but unfortunately now find it frustrating. The parenting styles these days are very different, leaving me feeling that there are few consequences of bad behaviour and the parents lives are being ruined through loss of sleep and effective control of their children. As Grandma, I can’t do what I did with my children as it is now considered too strict.
It’s an entirely different experience to be a grandma. It’s emotionally fulfilling.
I raised my son by myself with an absent alcoholic ex. I was an overprotective mom and still can be but have been working hard on this. Now my son and his fiancé are expecting and I do not want to be interfering or to available but a nice and supportive balance.
Hi PJ , Thanks for joining the conversation.Congratulations on becoming a Grandma!! I understand exactly how you feel. I had a tendency to be a little over protective with my own children, but found being a nana so different. I told my kids I was there if ever they needed me, day or night, but always made sure I gave them some space. It is wonderful and I am sure you are going to love it!! Lily x
I would love to have grandchildren, however it is not in the cards. But that’s okay because I have 2 beautiful wonderful daughters who know their own minds and choose not to have children. I’m happier that they do not give in to the “norm” and instead feel confident enough in themselves to make their own decisions. I would be sad to have a grandchild who’s mom did not truly want to raise them. Unfortunately for me, not having grandchildren has put space between myself and people who I thought were good friends. I guess they were good friends until it became inconvenient.
Hi Jodie, Thanks for joining the conversation. What a wonderful mum your lucky daughters have. They sound like well adjusted people who know their own minds, and what is right for their lives. Good for them! Having children is not easy, and though I am truly grateful I had mine, I can understand that it is a huge decision. Enjoy your beautiful girls. Lily x