When Life Feels Like You Are One Crisis Away from Jenga
The first thing I know for sure is there is only one way you can fail and that’s if you believe you don’t deserve to win. The second thing I know for sure is that positive thoughts require energy and negative thoughts require no effort at all.
Moving One Block Can Cause the Whole Tower to Tumble
There is a myriad of reasons why a woman in mid-life and beyond might find herself in a state of emotional or financial crisis. It could be a messy divorce leaving bank accounts drained, worthless investments being found to be scams, or personal problems or health issues depleting life savings. It could be as simple as being laid off, with no one wanting to hire a 50-plus woman to their management team.
You may be struggling with feelings of irrelevancy, stress, hopelessness or lack of a sense of purpose. Are you in limbo, waiting patiently for that perfect moment to bloom?
If you’re 50 or older, you may feel redundant. Our youth-oriented society’s yardstick has measured us past our prime. Our allotted time to shine, be relevant and successful is over. We had our chance; if things didn’t work out, well, it’s too late now. Roll yourself out to the curb with a sign pinned to your chest that reads Past Due Date and wait for the refuse collector. What could we possibly have to offer this late in the game of life?
As It Turns Out, Quite a Lot!
It’s time for us to reimagine and redefine our purpose later in life. Your entire adult existence has been taking care of others: your children, spouse, a corporation’s board of directors. Everyone has had a piece of you to reach their dreams and goals while balancing on your shoulders.
Ideas and visions of who you are, what you want and where you want to go are fluid and constantly changing. Whether you had the good fortune to follow your vision or stored it away for later, something happened to bring life to a halt, and you are at a crossroads.
“I’m Too Old to Start Over”
If you’re not satisfied with your life to date, change it. What are you waiting for? You’re still standing, perhaps tilting a bit like a tree that’s experienced too many storms.
You are not alone. If you’ve lost your compass and feel you no longer have the strength and tenacity to chart your course, it’s time to reach out to a new tribe to help you on your journey.
Society may think we’ve fallen through the cracks and have no place to go but down – no money, no hope, no future – but I’ve got news for them: we have no place to go but up. We are looking forward to an exciting, albeit different, second half of life.
Just like a grand old house that’s seen better days, transform yourself into a brand-new design, a magnificently renovated, imposing mansion that no hurricane of challenges can blow down.
A Life That Is Enough for You
What are you looking for? Encouragement, income ideas, resources, friendships, the story of someone who has shared your circumstances? Has a new idea sprung to life in your imagination, or are you considering revisiting a dormant dream that’s ready to bloom?
A community of many voices with an abundance of courage and grassroots ideas is waiting to hear from you. What are your goals? Happiness, friendships, financial security, travel? Just what is it that YOU desire?
What Are You Prepared to Do to Achieve the Life You Say You Want?
Tell God, the Universe, Mother Nature or just yourself what you want. Say it out loud, write it down, post it on the wall, and believe you deserve it. If you have faith, the Universe will immediately start the process of rearranging things to make it happen. Be very specific: this is your Magnum Opus! Believe it, plan for it, keep moving forward with grit and purpose, and voila, it will appear.
Beware the Good and Bad News
The good news is that if you open your mind, stop dismissing new ideas and stop making excuses, you will get everything you want. The bad news is you don’t get to choose the timeline. But I can tell you this from my own experience: if you are willing to forge ahead and have unwavering faith in yourself, you will get everything you want.
We all know the first step is the hardest. But then it gets easier. Inspire yourself, and others will be inspired by your actions.
Send me an email at hello@wendyrichards.ca to receive the full Introduction: What I Know for Sure from my debut book A Life Postponed – so you too can discover joy and purpose in mid-life and beyond!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What needs to change in your life so that it turns in a direction that you want? Are you prepared to make those changes?
Tags Reinventing Yourself
How do find encouragement when my future happiness depends on another person? Here is my situation. I am 68 and retired. I lost my husband 7 years ago. My daughter is 29 and lives with me. She does not drive, never attended any college and has never held a job. She was just diagnosed with ADHD/Autism. I am having to work full time to pay for her living expenses, insurance and counseling. Everyday is a challenge because she seems to need to worry about something, ie, spot on her face is cancer, can’t handle scent from a candle, the neighbors dog barks too much so she wants to move, etc. I’m trying to stay positive and I love her more than anything. But I am afraid that this is my life. I see my friends traveling and enjoying retirement. Feeling defeated.
thanks for listening.
As a widow of 10 years, I understand how hard parenting is alone. My only advice is to try to connect with community resources and build a support network. You are doing all the heavy lifting alone and it’s not sustainable. I hope you find time for yourself. You deserve some grace.
My son was 41 when he died of metastasized brain cancer. He had ADHD, was creative, an animal lover, had an addictive personality, and was in constant motion. He was adored by everyone who ever met him. They had no idea how absolutely exhausting he was! I would suggest that you need counselling for yourself, or perhaps a Meetup group comprised of parents in similar situations where you can speak freely. They may have suggestions such as groups that your daughter could join to give you a few hours reprieve once in a while. Nothing stays the same forever. Reach out to your community or church and see where it takes you.
I believe in myself. I don’t doubt that I’m worth of whatever I want to strive for. As I’m 20 months away from retirement, which I’m completely ready for, I just am not sure the what I want to explore. I’m a widow, so the loneliness is both frequently appreciated and often quite sad. Guidance on clarifying what’s next would be appreciated
Start now to develop a new tribe. 2 years before I retired I joined a senior women’s volleyball league. I became friends with many of the women playing and now we do activities outside of volleyball but look forward to every Monday night when we all get together. Scheduled clubs and activities will add structure and relationships to your life.
Linda, there are so many suggestions I could give you. My book A Life Postponed was written for exactly this reason – what comes next. I believe Amazon and Indigo allows you to read a free sample if you’d like to check it out.
This article in a nutshell summed up where most of us middle aged women are. And the words definitely encourages and gives us hope. I know I’m not alone in this journey. Thank you Wendy for the clarity.
Thank you Sumita. We have an enormous amount of skills and life experience to share. I, for one, refuse to be invisible.
I think keeping our.minds open is hugely important, to stay positive and to deliberately stay away from négative people.
You are so right Jane. Your friends and family may not think they are being negative but that is exactly what they are doing. Here’s a quote from my book: “In many cases, the people you love may be the very ones preventing you from fulfilling your destiny. They want the best for you and don’t want to see you fail or get hurt. So they keep you snuggled up in a warm blanket and out of harm’s way.”
The best article!
Thank you Lisa.