Consider Forgiveness for a More Peaceful Life After 60
It’s hard to get to retirement age without having been wronged or hurt at some time in our life. No matter the infraction, some individuals can forgive easily and move on with their life. But there are others of us who continue to hold a grudge.
Without forgiveness, resentment and/or anger can take over our thoughts at any time when certain triggers bring up the offensive event. At the later stage of our life, when we’re attempting to get everything ready for our passing, we should consider adding forgiveness to that planning list.
I spend a good deal of my time trying to educate and inform people about being prepared for their death. My focus is usually on making sure financial and personal information is readily available for loved ones.
But preparedness for our passing involves more than just writing down our financial information. Intangibles such as downsizing, reconciliations and forgiveness are just as important.
Why Forgive?
Forgiveness is for our benefit, not the person who wronged us. The person who abused us, cheated on us or betrayed us in some way probably doesn’t care if they are forgiven or not.
If the offense was serious enough in our mind, and we cannot seem to let it go, it will continue to make us feel like we are a victim. We carry around this burden which can foster into resentment, anger and hate.
The act of forgiving allows us to move on with our life. Forgiveness heals our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. If we can embrace forgiveness of others, we allow peace, hope, gratitude and joy to enter our life in place of the anger.
How to Forgive
In order to forgive, we should first recognize that forgiveness does not mean you want reconciliation. Even if reconciliation is a goal of the forgiveness, it is not guaranteed.
To move forward with forgiveness, you must first make the decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge and anger. Think about the event that has consumed your thoughts from the other person’s point of view.
We are all just humans who make mistakes and bad judgements. Could the infraction have been unintentional? Time and a different perspective can help you to grant forgiveness. However, if you believe the hurt caused to you was deliberate, then you may need to rely on empathy and compassion to forgive.
An On-Going Process
Forgiveness is not an easy process. After months or years of carrying around hurt and resentment, just deciding one day to forgive doesn’t make everything disappear overnight. It’s our thoughts that keep the hurt alive. If we allow past events to enter our thoughts, forgiveness will not be complete.
We most likely will need to revisit and forgive numerous times before hurtful memories cease to overtake our lives. If we truly want to forgive and continually go through the process of forgiveness until our anger and resentment have all but disappeared, we will be able to move on to more positive parts of our life and, hopefully, live a more peaceful existence.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you find it easy to forgive others? In your preparedness for end of life, have you considered some intangibles like reconciliations and forgiveness? Have you ever thoroughly forgiven someone for a hurtful incident? If so, did you feel more peaceful after you forgave? Do you find it hard or easy to forgive? Please join the conversation below!
Tags Finding Happiness
I forgive because I don’t want it affecting my life. Exactly stated “forgiveness is for our benefit…” Is it easy, NO. But nothing is easy in life. Everyone has something that went on in their lives that is “unforgiveable.” I am not letting it ruin my days. Am I sad it occurred, naturally. However, I will never trust them again. It’s not easy. I’ve had to remove myself from certain situations and family members because of their serious actions. Sometimes there is no reconciliation in these matters. Thank you for this article.
I don’t agree that forgiving someone is for our benefit. True forgiveness is about really softening our hearts toward the people who have wronged us . . . It means releasing those people from any resentment and antipathy we have in our hearts for them – and there has to be a certain amount of love and grace inside us, for us to be able to do that. While forgiving people might make us feel somewhat released, the purpose of forgiving people is really to have a different frame of mind about them – to release THEM, not necessarily to release ourselves . . . though in the process of forgiving, we can also be released.
Two of my best friends haven’t spoken to each other for more than 2 years. All because Friend A did not like where she was seated at Friend B’s son’s wedding. I have told Friend A to get over it — that it is a petty grievance — but she said she is tired of being treated badly and that I “just don’t understand” how hurt she was. Friend B says she thought Friend A did not like the people at other tables. They both think they are owed an apology and neither one will give it. It is so ridiculous that I have to meet with each one separately and we cannot be a threesome anymore.