Do You Create Your Own Anxiety?
Yes! We create our own anxiety. It’s true! Maybe you think it’s the situation. Maybe you think it’s about your health, money or relationships.
You’re thinking… “If the situation just got better, everything would be okay.” But the truth is that while you are going through a stressful situation, the thing that is causing your anxiety is what you are thinking.
It’s your own thoughts.
One thought leads to another, which leads to another, and the result is anxiety.
Now you’re feeling…
- Overwhelmed
- Scared
- Nervous
- Distracted
It’s Not Me, and I Can’t Control It!
A few years ago, I would have blamed my anxiety on the unsettling situation I was experiencing. I thought anxiety just happened; it seemed so. I thought I couldn’t control it! My mind kept repeating the same scary, negative thoughts. I was miserable and exhausted! All I wanted was to stop the threatening voices in my head, relax and find peace.
Do you feel the same way? Do you want to…
- Calm down and relax.
- Get a good night’s sleep.
- Turn off the noise in your head.
What You Can Do About Your Thoughts
I discovered that while the situation I was experiencing was challenging, it was my negative thoughts that were causing my anxiety and upset. Xanax was a temporary fix. Changing my thinking patterns was the solution.
If you want to calm down and relax, follow these steps.
Pay Attention to Your Thoughts
This means becoming aware or conscious of what you are thinking. Our minds generate thoughts automatically based on a lifetime of experiences. Be intentional. Pause and ask, “What am I thinking about right now? What’s going on in my head?” Experiment with this several times a day. Make it a habit.
Evaluate Your Thoughts
Get clear about the kinds of thoughts running through your mind. Ask: How are these thoughts helping me or troubling me? What feelings are these thoughts producing? How do these feelings prompt me to act?
Asking the question, “How real or true is this really?” helps bring objectivity and clarity to what’s actually happening. Getting a clear perspective based on reality brings relief and calms you down.
Change or Reframe Your Thoughts
Pinpoint negative and unhelpful thoughts. Change these thoughts into positive and helpful thoughts. Be intentional and deliberate. Repeat the new thoughts and phrases over and over in your mind. Say them out loud.
Notice What Happens
With practice, identifying and changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts makes a difference. Observe how your feelings change and you start to feel calm, less worried and more at peace with your situation. It will affect your behavior, too. A positive, clear mind makes better decisions. It makes it so you can handle those stressful situations.
I recently worked with a client who contacted me about the anxiety she experienced when she left her house. Anxious thoughts kept her from meeting friends and going places. After noticing her negative thought patterns and reframing them to positive ones, she started to calm down and became more at ease with leaving her home.
You, too, can calm down by changing negative thoughts to positive ones!
You can stop creating your own anxiety! I hope you follow these steps to become aware of your negative thoughts and reframe them into positive thoughts to stop creating anxiety.
But if you are truly struggling with anxious thinking that’s keeping you overwhelmed and distracted, watch my FREE 10-minute video on How to Stop Anxiety to learn the exact 3 steps you can take to Become Anxiety Free.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Who do you blame for your anxiety? Do you blame others or the situation you find yourself in? Have you considered that your own thoughts might be causing you to feel anxious?
Tags Reducing Stress
This is the fourth time within 3 days that I heard or read a similar message. This must be for me! I am embracing this concept…acknowledging the negative thoughts when they occur and replacing with a positive thought. Why did the negative thought appear, what can I do about it now, is it that bad, what can I do to overcome it, will I feel this way tomorrow, next week? This has truly been working for me. I feel much better knowing that I am the one that controls my thoughts. Stop, breathe, reframe mindset!
Sandra, your testimony about how reframing helps you manage anxiety is worth gold. Thanks for sharing! Thoughts are just thoughts…and we can change them. Bravo! If you didn’t get a chance to listen to my video, here’s the link: https://janekcoaching.com/free-training/
I started therapy about 7 years ago for anxiety disorder (panic attacks). What a journey it has been! I continue, once a week, with my therapist. I’ve learned so much about myself. About truth. It is a constant challenge, but I’m happy to say that I’m not on any type of medication, and living life day to day, working on bettering myself. Some days are tough, but then I know it is temporary and I work through it. There is so much stress that we create because of our own perspectives and expectations. We need to learn to let go of beliefs that are not true and do not serve us.
Congratulations, Maureen! You are doing it! So proud of you. I agree, some days are just hard but, if you know how to navigate the perspectives and expectations that mess you up, you can work through it – and you are. If you’d like to check out my video, here’s the link: https://janekcoaching.com/free-training/
I don’t play the “blame” game because that is putting responsibility for something onto either myself or onto someone else. I don’t want to do that But I do believe that my negative voices are the cause of my anxieties. I have tried talking out loud to those voices, countering everything that they say. It works somewhat because it changes the direction of my thinking. Gives me something else to chew on other than the negativities alone. I argue with the negativity (when I’m alone of course) and counter with positive statements and possible solutions. It totally works for smaller issues, but for the larger ones like death of someone I love, it can only quell them for which I am thankful.
Thanks for responding! I love what you’re saying about talking back to negative thoughts. Reframing negative thoughts to positive thoughts is clearly one of the ways to manage anxiety. You go girl! All the best as you continue to learn and grow. If you’d like to check out my video, here;s the link https://janekcoaching.com/free-training/
My dear mother has had anxiety her entire life, it has prevented her from having a better quality of life. She is of the generation that you just suffer through it, and you don’t really talk about it. She just suffered a stress heart attack and thankfully has pulled through but a portion of her heart muscle has been damaged. A heart catherization shows her arteries are clear, which is amazing for her age. The cardiologist told her that chronic stress from anxiety caused the heart attack! She is now trying to use the same coping strategies mentioned in this article and I hope it helps her. The body/mind connection is real. Thank you for this article.
Kimber:
Thanks so much for sharing about your mother. This reminds me to acknowledge that I absorb my anxiety from my mother. She was quite anxious. I’d hhttps://janekcoaching.com/free-training/ear her get up at night and fix herself warm milk with honey.
If you think listening to my video would be of help to her (or yourself), here’s the link. https://janekcoaching.com/free-training/
I have suffered from anxiety or panic attacks my entire life. I have read books on it, applied different techniques, and have tried to change my mindset. Sometimes the fear and panic come from out of no where. I have found that walking a lot has helped ease some of it. I think knowledge is power and thank you for your article.
Yes, exercise and in particular walking seems to help me as well. I have a treadmill that will take you to any environment (beaches, mountain trails, etc.) you can dream of with music! It was expensive, but well worth it. Sometimes, I just go back and forth in my back yard. Yes, this helps immensely.
Yes, I believe that being physical, especially getting out of the house, is helpful.
Hi! I love these affirming comments about the help that exercise can be for managing anxiety. Me too! Walking my dog and exercising at the gym several times a week are a big help. Reframing my thoughts is a big one too. If you missed viewing my video and you’re like to check it out, here’s the link. https://janekcoaching.com/free-training/