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Dare to Dream Again After Being Hit by a Life Quake

By Rita Wilkins April 13, 2023 Mindset

At some point in your life, you will go through “something.” That “something” could be the sudden death of a loved one, a nasty divorce, an unexpected financial crisis or a dreaded life slip. 

Life Quakes

These “life quakes” are life-changing experiences that alter our reality overnight. Our world is suddenly turned upside down. The foundation and security we once knew is pulled out from underneath us, making us ask, “Why me, God?”

Life quakes leave you with more questions than answers.

“Who am I now? How will I ever survive this crisis, let alone thrive?”

You will often be afraid, confused, uncertain, and unprepared for what’s next.

Mourning the passing of your previous life and saying goodbye to the way things were takes time. But as you come face-to-face with your new reality and as it begins to finally settle in, you realize you must do “something”. 

But “What?” And “How?”

Life transitions are never easy, they are certainly not linear, and they do require much time and thoughtful introspection.

  • Do you just “carry-on” and adapt to your new life as a widow or as a divorcee?
  • Do you look for another job similar to a previous one simply because you need the money to survive and because it won’t require you to step out of your comfort zone? Or…
  • Do you see this “life quake” as a new fork in the road; as an opportunity for you to shake up your life, change directions altogether, allowing you to create something new, exciting, and even more fulfilling… something you dreamed of, but never thought possible?

Rediscover Your Purpose and Learn to Dream Big

These life-changing moments are transitions that challenge you on every possible level to rethink, reimagine, and redefine who and what you want to be in the future.

  • Do you continue to look back and hold on to the status quo because it’s the most comfortable choice? Or…
  • Do you choose to look forward, embrace this time of change so you can intentionally redesign your life to be what you dream it to be and so you can thrive rather than merely survive? 

The choice is yours.

But if you do choose to reinvent yourself and your life after getting hit by a “life quake,” you will definitely need to allow yourself to dream big.

Lives Change. Dreams Change.

What are your new dreams?

Step 1: Discern What Matters Most to You Right Now… And WHY?

Start asking yourself what matters most to you now and why.

Your life has changed. Likely your interests and priorities have also changed. Take time, pause, gain perspective as to why you value what you value right now. This will be the center point from which you make future decisions.

Step 2: Create a Vision for What You Want Your Life to Look Like in the Future

Prioritize yourself. It’s not selfish. It’s self-care. 

What makes you happy?  What gives your life meaning? What lights you up?

With that in mind, dream; dream some more, and dream BIG.

Let nothing constrain your dreams.

Step 3: Now Is the Time to Let Go of What Holds You Back So You Can Pursue Your New Dreams

It takes enormous determination and unwavering willpower to shed the fears and limiting beliefs that hold you back from having the life you dream of.

But once you shift your mindset, you begin to see your life through a whole new lens of what’s possible. Your vision for your new life becomes clearer and you start to believe your dreams are actually possible.

It takes courage to go through life quakes, to begin again, embrace change, and to take a new direction. But once you dare to dream and once you give yourself permission to pursue those dreams, there’s no stopping you! 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you dare to dream big? Do you work on creating the kind of life that makes you feel free? What experiences put you out of your comfort zone? Have you gone through one or more life quakes that had you feeling miserable?

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Ingrid

Yes ihad that last year, 2022. I really had a lot of anger and grief. Still there but the emotions are less and i guess i just say “oh here you are again” when the emotions come up. I do feel like I am a changed person. And in a good way. More considerate and i appreciate my friends more. Its hard to explain.

Ingrid
Sounds like you have found ways to “whack” those negative feelings back down. Wishing you continued growth
Rita

Cindy Larson

This hits the spot in my life yes, I`m done with the past Life Quakes and trying finally this year to start my future journey! On my term!! You must move forward you deserve it…

Keep going Cndy!
Sounds like you are ready for a big change! Attitude and mindset is everything!
Best wishes on your new journey!

Alicia Slyh

I am now 62 years old, my life has been anything but fulfilling nor rewarding, I have two children, twins, that are now 34 years old, they have their own lives and rarely include me in them, this of course of left has left my deeply depressed, and on top of that I just recently went through the terrible experience of losing a beloved pet, who was my life and my heart, at this point right now in my life, I am gravely depressed and am finding it so very hard to continue with my day to day. I have nothing to look forward to and feel I am just dying inside

FY!

Alicia, please know that life is like shifting sands. Good times come and go and so do the bad times. Ride them out and please seek the help of a mental health professional, to talk or get medication or both. You are worth it.

Ann

Turning 60 hit me HARD last October. After divorcing the husband 12 years ago and supporting the daughters on my own (no child support as he lost his job and decided not to work), dating (but not successfully) I then crashed into 60. Like where did the 50s go?! I’ve felt very lost and attempting to navigate this isn’t easy. I feel rather invisible these days but am learning to take advantage of it. A couple more years of work and then what? I have no idea, but know that now is the time to figure it out.

Ann
You’ve been through a lot, but you did it!
Hopefully you will see the next phase of your life as an opportunity to create the kind of life you want …and deserve
Best wishes on your new journey
Rita, the Downsizing Swsigne

Ingrid

Its surprising what a biggie it is to turn 60, right? I guess that is how we’ve all ended up at “Sixty and Me”.🤣

Jacqueline

From 50 to 80 its a continuing life quake. Divorced after 34 years of marriage. Took care of Mother, Grandmother and then my father he lived to be 93 years young. Took a yearto clear out their possessions. Moved to new Apartment 2 months later fell and broke my hip 1 months later screws came loose had second operation total hip replacement. Survived that then blood clot then pandemic hit stayed home 2 years became couch potato which gave me congestive heart failure not to mention have RA 2 operations on my hands. Despite the fact that I just turned 80 Im looking forward to getting stronger and out more. So yes I need new mind set. Thank you for all your wonderful articles.

Jacqueline, you are a poster child for resilience! I suspect you’re going to play full out in your 80s! Enjoy!

Diane K

Wow! You are my inspiration. Lots of obstacles, and you keep putting one foot in front of the other, all with a sense of optimism.

Last edited 3 years ago by Diane K
Roberta Central FL

WOW! You too! I just turned 80! Rita’s repeated Advice sounds easy, but HOW? That’s what I am missing; I need a new article: : HOW TOMake friends, HOW TO: Surround yourself with supportive people and HOW TO: stay positive!
 
After 3 years home thru COVID, isolated, without any family… I made my first step forward socially. I went with a meet-up group to see Disney’s Christmas Lights. With 2 large board walk lights not working; I fell flat on my face in the dark! I broke and had surgery on my RIGHT wrist leaving me unable to write, drive, cut a tomato one handed, etc.
 
I notice, after reading other comments, that 30 years later, I really miss my x-husband’s contribution! I had 1/2 the house, car, financial and life duties. I miss his contacts and social and the ability to plan trips, and events on our own. Now its more complicated as I look for a group to join for a cruise, and a group to go on a day trip. I don’t want, for instance, to go to Disney alone.
 
LIFE SHAKES… that’s good, I’ll use that.

Rita wilkins

Roberta
Thank you for your comment and suggestion to dive deeper into the HOW. You will see additional articles about this on the future
Rita, The Downsizing Designer

FY!

Wow Jacqueline. You go girl….. I admire you.

Cheryl

You go, girl!!!I’m proud of you!!! You have inspired me!!!

The Author

Rita Wilkins, known as The Downsizing Designer, is a nationally recognized interior and lifestyle design expert, TEDx speaker, and author of Downsize Your Life, Upgrade Your Lifestyle: Secrets to More Time, Money, and Freedom. She inspires Baby Boomers to reimagine their lives and embrace living abundantly with less. Jumpstart your journey with Rita’s The Letting Go Workbook—your all-in-one guide to decluttering with ease.

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