Are You Dating a Narcissist? Watch for these 3 Warning Signs
Finding your way through the dating world after 50 can be a real struggle, especially when you attract narcissistic men who create additional emotional chaos for you.
One of the reasons you might fall in love with a narcissist is because he has the ability to mirror your interests.
When he does, it ends up creating a superficial bond between the two of you that unfortunately is often driven by manipulation rather than genuine connection.
His talent for masking his true self can make it challenging to spot the warning signs until you’re deeply involved.
That’s why today we are going to uncover 3 Warning Signs that can help you recognize if you’re dating a narcissist.
Warning Sign # 1: He’s Extremely Self-Centered
A big sign you might be dating a narcissist is when he constantly focuses on himself.
The thing about narcissists is they often display an inflated sense of self-importance, and they do this by exaggerating their abilities or accomplishments.
Or he might talk endlessly about his career, his social status, or his personal life while barely acknowledging your stories or interests.
This kind of self-centered behavior makes you feel like you and your experiences aren’t important, and this should raise a red flag for you.
Let me give you an example of this using a favorite phrase Sophia uses in the TV show The Golden Girls.
Picture This:
You’ve had the best day, and you’re excited to share your experience with a man you’ve been dating. You begin to share your story, and he interrupts you steering the conversation back to his own day and his accomplishments.
He barely acknowledges your story, leaving you with a sense of dismissal and insignificance.
Warning Sign #2: He Lacks Empathy
Empathy is the glue that holds a healthy relationship together. Sadly, narcissists often lack this trait. They find it challenging to grasp or connect with your feelings, offering you very little emotional support or validation.
If the person you’re dating brushes off your emotions, belittles your worries, or appears unconcerned about your well-being, these behaviors might be signs of his narcissistic tendencies.
Keep a watchful eye on how a man responds to your emotional needs or how he treats others in vulnerable situations.
A continual absence of empathy should set off warning bells in your mind.
Picture This:
You’re at dinner with a man you’ve been dating, and you’re feeling down because you recently lost a pet dog. You share some of your sadness by telling a story about the two of you hoping for some comfort and support.
Instead of offering a hug or a few kind words about your loss, he quickly brushes off your sadness, telling you to “get over it because it’s only a dog.”
Or he totally ignores your feelings and shifts the dialogue to a minor inconvenience he’d had during the day, making your genuine emotional pain seem trivial.
When his lack of empathy leaves you feeling so alone during a difficult time – it’s a BIG RED FLAG.
Warning Sign # 3: He Is Manipulative
A narcissist uses manipulation to maintain control so that his needs – not yours – are met. He might use strategies like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim. These tactics can make you start doubting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Gaslighting, for example, can lead you to question your sanity and beliefs, making it challenging to trust your own judgment.
If you notice that the person you’re dating frequently distorts reality, blames you for things you haven’t done, or twists situations to make you doubt your perceptions, you want to take these signs seriously.
Their manipulative behavior can erode your confidence and make you feel trapped in a future relationship.
Picture This:
Imagine you and the man you’re dating have planned a quiet evening together, but at the last minute, he decides to go out with his friends instead.
When you express disappointment, he turns the situation around, accusing you of being controlling and selfish for not wanting him to have fun.
Over time, these manipulative tactics make you question your own feelings and judgments.
You start doubting whether your needs are reasonable, slowly losing your sense of self-worth and independence.
Keep Watch for These Signs
Recognizing the signs of a narcissistic partner is vital for you avoiding this type of toxic relationship.
Watch for extreme self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and manipulative behavior. Trust your instincts and prioritize your happiness. If you feel undervalued, reassess whether he is relationship worthy.
Healthy relationships thrive on respect, empathy, and equality. Your well-being matters, and you deserve a relationship that nurtures your happiness and peace.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What narcissistic behaviors have you noticed in someone you dated? Did you see those as red signs? Have you run away from a man who proved to be a narcissist? Have you seen relationships where the woman was the narcissist?
Tags Senior Dating Advice
I think to add to this very helpful article: as your eyes are opened more to the real identity of the narcissist you may feel foolish to have been taken in..but please know they are masters at this and full of charm and as has been mentioned they are pathological liars ( the ordinary person cannot imagine someone they trust would lie like that ! ) and they also use just enough of the things they know you value to keep you in there/ to keep the hope alive.. truly they are predators and emotional vampires..we did not stand a chance in the beginning… but there is HOPE ..be kind to yourself and seek help with a trusted person..stay safe a narcissist does not like to be crossed..
You’re right……my ex hid his true self for almost 30 years. Then I was finally able to see things. When I did, he stepped up his emotional abuse. I won’t go further into detail. He did re-marry but he must be a miserable person.
Over a year ago, I ended a 9-year relationship and I’m still healing from it. I rode the rollercoaster ride from hell – extreme highs and lows. We visited FOUR couples counselors together, and not one of them recognized that I was on the receiving end of emotional abuse. He could be the kindest; he could be the cruelest. It wasn’t until I found an article describing the cycles of abuse and how the brain becomes dysregulated from the abuse that I was finally able to walk away for good. Reading that article was the biggest AHA moment of my life. We visited FOUR couples counselors – not one picked up on narcissistic disorder. Red flag: when they tell you that they had horrific childhoods – RUN. They use it as an excuse for their abhorrent behaviors. Those childhoods did damage them, and most probably lead to psychological disorders.
I just left a relationship with a narcissist and it is truly an abusive situation. No one should have to deal with that kind of emotional and sometimes physical abuse!
My son was with a very experienced Narcissist.
She twisted everything and tried to split the whole family.
A Cruel person, family quickly worked her out and highlighted it.
Now she speaks to no one as cannot get her own way. We tried hard to help her but she is far too disruptive and heartless.
Where was this 35 yrs ago? Sadly I married a narcissistic pathological liar! It was so subtle in the beginning. He’d told me dating was like fishing in so many ways n words. Now, it’s too late n I’m too old with so much water under the bridge
I agree that this information comes too late for me. This sounds exactly like a guy I dated 40 years ago. Fortunately, I dumped him then!
Hi Jani, as long as you’re still breathing, it’s NOT too late. Celebrate you, your accomplishments, all the times you made a positive difference in someone’s life, all that you’ve overcome, all that you’ve learned and all your happy memories. Do what makes you happy, spend time in nature, with people who treat you with kindness and respect. I am in a relationship with a narcissist and doing my best to heal so I can create a happier today and tomorrow. Reading Silvia Hartmann’s book Positive EFT in June and currently Star Matrix has been a huge help. Same with reading Mabel Katz’s 100 questions and listening to her videos and audios. Being in a relationship with an abusive narcissist is a soul sucking hell, but I am determined to do better than merely survive, I want to thrive. Big hugs to you. May your day be filled with more peace, love, joy and blessings than you could ever count!
Jani I hear your sadness, and I have been there too. Leaving my 34 year marriage was the hardest ( most brave and freeing ) thing I’ve ever done. I found it is never too late to get peace and respect – it may not mean leaving in every case but there is support and help to strengthen your inner person and protect yourself from the ill effects of living with a narcissist. For me, it was only when I had been separated for a year or more and with the help of counselling I got enough perspective to see the damage that was being caused to me and my family…it is now 10 years on and I have survived and have a life and happiness and inner peace that I could not imagine before. My children have been set free also and so I feel it is never too late to take a next step to loving and nurturing yourself. Blessings xx
I understand your thinking. In my late 60’s and noticing decline it’s too late for me too. I’ve left a marriage before and it’s a huge financial hit. So what, you could say, “That’s just money” “Your happiness and mental health are invaluable” and they are true statements. However, Financial hardship is also a huge stressor. And going back to work is not an option for me. A home full of personal treasures and hobbies and personal accomplishments is what I make sure I enjoy. “Be Happy” was my dear Mum’s motto and I can do that. I also have some close friends. If I was in physical danger, I would leave, but I’m not. So I make sure I have the best life I can within my marriage. And I try to help my hubby to also be happy. I suspect that is the case for many people, men and women, because the hurdles, later in life can simply be too hard to jump if we leave.