Are You Dating a Narcissist? Watch for these 3 Warning Signs
Finding your way through the dating world after 50 can be a real struggle, especially when you attract narcissistic men who create additional emotional chaos for you.
One of the reasons you might fall in love with a narcissist is because he has the ability to mirror your interests.
When he does, it ends up creating a superficial bond between the two of you that unfortunately is often driven by manipulation rather than genuine connection.
His talent for masking his true self can make it challenging to spot the warning signs until you’re deeply involved.
That’s why today we are going to uncover 3 Warning Signs that can help you recognize if you’re dating a narcissist.
Warning Sign # 1: He’s Extremely Self-Centered
A big sign you might be dating a narcissist is when he constantly focuses on himself.
The thing about narcissists is they often display an inflated sense of self-importance, and they do this by exaggerating their abilities or accomplishments.
Or he might talk endlessly about his career, his social status, or his personal life while barely acknowledging your stories or interests.
This kind of self-centered behavior makes you feel like you and your experiences aren’t important, and this should raise a red flag for you.
Let me give you an example of this using a favorite phrase Sophia uses in the TV show The Golden Girls.
Picture This:
You’ve had the best day, and you’re excited to share your experience with a man you’ve been dating. You begin to share your story, and he interrupts you steering the conversation back to his own day and his accomplishments.
He barely acknowledges your story, leaving you with a sense of dismissal and insignificance.
Warning Sign #2: He Lacks Empathy
Empathy is the glue that holds a healthy relationship together. Sadly, narcissists often lack this trait. They find it challenging to grasp or connect with your feelings, offering you very little emotional support or validation.
If the person you’re dating brushes off your emotions, belittles your worries, or appears unconcerned about your well-being, these behaviors might be signs of his narcissistic tendencies.
Keep a watchful eye on how a man responds to your emotional needs or how he treats others in vulnerable situations.
A continual absence of empathy should set off warning bells in your mind.
Picture This:
You’re at dinner with a man you’ve been dating, and you’re feeling down because you recently lost a pet dog. You share some of your sadness by telling a story about the two of you hoping for some comfort and support.
Instead of offering a hug or a few kind words about your loss, he quickly brushes off your sadness, telling you to “get over it because it’s only a dog.”
Or he totally ignores your feelings and shifts the dialogue to a minor inconvenience he’d had during the day, making your genuine emotional pain seem trivial.
When his lack of empathy leaves you feeling so alone during a difficult time – it’s a BIG RED FLAG.
Warning Sign # 3: He Is Manipulative
A narcissist uses manipulation to maintain control so that his needs – not yours – are met. He might use strategies like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim. These tactics can make you start doubting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Gaslighting, for example, can lead you to question your sanity and beliefs, making it challenging to trust your own judgment.
If you notice that the person you’re dating frequently distorts reality, blames you for things you haven’t done, or twists situations to make you doubt your perceptions, you want to take these signs seriously.
Their manipulative behavior can erode your confidence and make you feel trapped in a future relationship.
Picture This:
Imagine you and the man you’re dating have planned a quiet evening together, but at the last minute, he decides to go out with his friends instead.
When you express disappointment, he turns the situation around, accusing you of being controlling and selfish for not wanting him to have fun.
Over time, these manipulative tactics make you question your own feelings and judgments.
You start doubting whether your needs are reasonable, slowly losing your sense of self-worth and independence.
Keep Watch for These Signs
Recognizing the signs of a narcissistic partner is vital for you avoiding this type of toxic relationship.
Watch for extreme self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and manipulative behavior. Trust your instincts and prioritize your happiness. If you feel undervalued, reassess whether he is relationship worthy.
Healthy relationships thrive on respect, empathy, and equality. Your well-being matters, and you deserve a relationship that nurtures your happiness and peace.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What narcissistic behaviors have you noticed in someone you dated? Did you see those as red signs? Have you run away from a man who proved to be a narcissist? Have you seen relationships where the woman was the narcissist?
Tags Senior Dating Advice
I too married a narcissist, unknowingly. They are very very good at hiding it, but once it comes out, look out. The very first therapist I went to suggested that he might possibly be a narcissist – then I did my own research. I can remember falling to my knees crying as I read – it was my life living with a narcissist described to a T. What I heard over and over from therapists and even a marriage counselor “we can’t really label people as narcissists.” It was very frustrating! Once their Narcissism comes out and the niceness they used to attract you wears off their true colors surface. Narcissists lie all the time, they deny everything, they accuse you of doing things or not telling them stuff even though you know you told them clearly. They have no empathy. They have no real friends. Their co-workers do not like them. Their children want nothing to do with them. They try to keep you from your friends and family. They try to distance you from your children. They think very highly of themselves. They take photos of you in not so flattering positions when you are unaware. They insist you cannot live without them. They make threats. They criticize everything you do. They do not help around the house. They put themselves first for everything! They don’t believe in counseling. They refuse to attend marriage counseling. I tried to make this work and then I had enough. It wasn’t a good life and I was not happy. I was able to get away. I filed for divorce, which got him very very mad. I thought he yelled before, he stepped it up a notch. It was terrible but I stayed strong, didn’t listen to his threats and forged ahead. I didn’t realize how much this affected me physically and mentally until he was gone. The pressure was off me, I felt so much better. It was the best decision I made. I believe in marriage and had a very loving and successful 1st marriage, which left me a widow. Get out and take care of yourself!
Sadly narcissistic behavior can come in many forms. Often, by the time you realize the person is not who you thought they were, you may be twisted up in a relationship or marriage that is difficult to get out of. The manipulation is masterful and you watch as they manipulate everyone around them. We often think of a narcissist as being boastful and bluster, but they can as easily be a humble and kind appearing person. It can take years to see and peel away the layers of a masterful disguise. I’ve been in a marriage for 26 yrs with this type of individual. After the slow, subtle bullying in this relationship and being almost 65, I lack the resiliencyand good health that is needed to start my life anew.
I was married to a narcissist for 24 years. UGH! I’m so glad I got out of that marriage when I did.
I have since learned (via my adult son who was diagnosed at age 30) that my husband is on the autism scale as Asperger’s. They don’t understand social cues and emotions and think everyone thinks like they do. Similar to a narcissist, but not intentional. It’s how his brain is wired and they can’t change.
I married two of these men. Tom and Jerry. They actually were very much like the cartoon characters. Tom was aggressive and abusive and Jerry was small and looked great to everyone. I got away from both of them leaving a lot of money behind just to be free. They are now both dead so I feel like I won. God is now calling them to account for what they did while they were in the body on earth. God has protected me and prospered me in ways no one could ever believe. I had three children two with the first one Jerry and one with Tom. I lost a daughter in 1999 from a heart arythmia and neither of them did anything to help me during that difficult time. Remember they only care about themselves. We are only need meeters to them and once we see they are lacking empathy and stop giving to them their love for us and our children is over. They are truly sickos.