Just a few days after returning home from three full weeks exploring Cambodia, I found myself in tears on a not-so-comfortable plastic exam table in my chiropractor’s office.
Three weeks of hiking, biking, and wandering through temples in 100+ degree tropical heat – and I had felt fantastic. But suddenly, back in New York’s deep winter freeze, I could barely walk.
The pain was excruciating. What in the world had happened? Was it the shock of returning to sub-zero temperatures? Was my hip out of alignment after 30 hours of flying coach?
I honestly had no idea. Unfortunately, the professionals I relied on didn’t seem to know either.
I’ve always been someone who takes responsibility for my health – and does so naturally. As a naturopathic doctor, I’ve spent decades helping people restore balance in their bodies.
But this pain?
This was a new level of “Dear God, please help me.”
So, I went to see a chiropractor I had known for years – someone I respected, someone I had even rented office space from in the past.
He examined me briefly. Then he looked up and said:
“Well, Shirley… after all… you ARE 64. What do you expect?”
I’ll tell you what I expect. And it certainly isn’t that.
What I thought – but managed not to say out loud – was simple:
What in the world does my age have to do with finding out what’s wrong?
As someone who helps women over 50 reclaim their vitality every day, I know firsthand that age is not a limitation.
This story isn’t really about my injury.
(For the record, I did heal completely over the following year. It was one of those humbling life events that knocks you down – and makes the recovery even sweeter.)
What this story is really about is something millions of people experience: The subtle dismissal that comes with age. That moment when a professional waves away a legitimate concern with a single phrase: “Well… you’re older now.”
Suddenly your symptoms feel smaller. Your concern feels inconvenient. Your expectations feel unrealistic.
If your practitioner is using age as an explanation instead of investigating your symptoms, it may be time to find a new one.
And quickly.
Many of my clients arrive already carrying this belief. They say things like:
Years ago, a young woman sat across from me in my office. Chin resting in her hands. Elbows on my desk. She was exhausted, sleeping poorly, and struggling with low mood. Then she sighed and said, “Well… I AM 32, you know.”
Thirty-two.
My response was gentle but clear.
“Time to buckle up, honey. You’ve got a long way to go. Let’s get you up and feeling great again – and soon.”
Many people have heard some version of these phrases from healthcare professionals:
Often these comments aren’t intended to be dismissive. But what patients frequently hear is this: “Nothing can really be done.”
Most physicians are not dismissive because they don’t care. They’re working inside a system designed primarily to diagnose disease, not always to optimize vitality.
Typical appointments last 10–15 minutes. Symptoms like fatigue, hormonal shifts, inflammation, brain fog, or stubborn weight gain often require deeper investigation. If lab results fall within statistical ranges, doctors may genuinely believe everything is fine.
But here’s the reality: “Normal” is not the same as optimal. And the absence of disease is not health. A person can be technically normal – and still feel far from vibrant. When symptoms don’t fit neatly into a disease category, the easiest explanation often becomes aging.
The medical world isn’t the only place age bias appears. Recently, my partner and I went out for dinner at a casual Mexican restaurant. Our young server approached the table, pointed to the QR code menu, and asked with a slightly patronizing smile:
“Do you know how to use a QR code?”
I smiled politely. But inside I was thinking: Actually, honey, we build QR codes.
Enough already with the quiet senior shaming.
Many people over 50 are running businesses, traveling the world, mentoring younger generations, writing books and learning new technologies every day.
Age does not equal incompetence. And it certainly does not equal irrelevance.
Aging is real. But decline is not automatic. The human body is remarkably adaptive.
When supported properly through nutrition, detoxification, hormone balance, movement, and mindset, it can repair, rebalance, adapt and restore itself.
This is the work I love most. Helping people over 50 reclaim their:
Because the truth is this: Your age is not your limitation. It’s simply your starting point.
Ready to stop accepting ‘normal for your age’ as an answer? Download my free guide: 15 Signs Your Body is Out of Balance- That Most People Ignore.
Also, “Becoming Her: The 6-week Total Transformation for Inspired Women 50+ who are ready to become their most vibrant selves” starts April 8th. Learn more HERE.
Do you think “That’s normal for your age” may be the most discouraging phrase in modern healthcare? How many times have you heard it since blowing your 50 candles? Have you heard it at an earlier age? How has it affected your mindset?
I ‘choose’ not to use QR codes, not because I cant, but because I want to read a menu etc. I also dont want all the junk on my phone. I try to uncomplicate my life and thats my personal choice regardless of my age.Too many of this ‘easy/ time saving’ apps n things dont always work so I can do without them.
I haven’t had any remarks about ” getting older” & expecting my health to decline. Ive heard lots of people say about themselves, ‘ well I am getting old!’…I politely add something onto that statement and say, ‘ yes we are ALL getting ‘older’ but we are not OLD,!’
I continue to do what I love according to how I feel on the day. Admittedly there are some days that my body tells me “no” & thats ok..
That’s true! The constant self-affirming “Well, I’m getting older” with an expectation of decline pulls us into an energy that may prohibit all the health and vibrancy that we are meant to enjoy…at every age!
Tried to download your free guide, but was unsuccessful. Very difficult to figure out. You now have all my info., but I don’t have anything. Frustrating!
Oh, no! That IS frustrating! I know the links are good as there have been almost 40 downloads…would you like me to send it to you directly? Please send me your email-you can send it to mine drshirleysays@gmail.com, okay? I’ll get it right to you!
A former friend of mine always said, ‘you start falling apart at 70.’ Well, she did; she talked herself into it.
I had to chuckle at the menu QR code thing. I went to a restaurant a few years ago, they pointed that out, too. I said, “I don’t do QR codes, do you have printed menus?” She brought one right away. Frankly, I just don’t want that junk on my phone. Had she insisted I use the code, we would have left and found a friendlier place. As it is, they’ve gone to self-pay now with a gadget on the table so I no longer frequent that restaurant.
That is so funny! I agree! Way too much tech at the tables! I’m finding even at the airports everything is self-pay, scan your items, bag it up, right? Yikes…who knows what we’ll have to do 5 years from now! Thank you for your perspective-much appreciated.
Thank you for your article! I related to it so much. I even write articles about ageism for 60 and Me! In one blog, I talk about how my husband and I were wandering around at Costco on a Friday night. That alone might make you have pause to say, “Wow you’re old,” but when a pharmacy technician pulled us aside and asked us if we wanted a free pneumonia shot, I may have gotten a little preachy about ageism. I am 61 years old, but I fancy myself as looking no more than 38. That’s a joke. I don’t care how old I look anymore, but it shouldn’t affect other people’s opinions of me. Right?
Absolutely! It’s a new confidence level being in your 60’s….so many defer and start to apologize…I’m like you, not having it! Thank you for your story-I loved it!
Very good article.. thank you.
You are most welcome! If you’d like to be on a regular mailing list of articles and newsletters I write do let me know and I’ll add you. I also have a free PDF “15 Signs Your Body is Out of Balance-That Most People Ignore”. You can access that at http://www.drshirleysays.com Thanks for writing-I’m so glad you enjoyed the article!