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Why Some Women Find Love and Other Women Don’t

By Michele Burghardt June 27, 2023 Dating

Have you ever noticed how some women in our age group attract and date wonderful men while others struggle to meet any men at all? They aren’t prettier, smarter, thinner, or richer than you, so how do they find love with such high-quality men while you don’t? Is it simply luck?

No, it’s not luck that makes the difference. It’s the way we view love, romance, and dating that makes the difference. There are four key ingredients successful daters incorporate into their love life that you can learn how to do.

These are the ingredients they use to find love and they will help you attract high-quality men who will love you the way you want to be loved. Adopting these key ingredients will help you become the person you want to attract. Let’s explore the what and the why.

Positive Mindset

If you want to attract a high-quality man, you’ve got to believe you’re worthy of dating a high-quality man. Men want an easy-breezy love story too, and if you don’t feel like you’re a great catch, your insecurity can easily turn into neediness. And that’s a turn-off.

You attract men at your energetic level or below. So, if you find you’re attracting all the wrong men, you may want to look inside for answers.

Open Heart

The women you see dating great guys are women who believe in love. They ignore the myth that all the good men are taken and believe love is meant for everyone, even them.

Your brain is a goal seeking mechanism and will help you find love if you know who you’re looking for and expect to find him. Believing love is possible for you is what helps you notice the men who are noticing you. Without it you can easily miss Cupid’s arrow.

Strong Skillset

Knowing how to text, get flirty, create a great dating profile, and talk to men, etc. are all great skills to acquire. You’ll date with more confidence and be able to take better advantage of new opportunities to meet high-quality men.

Confidence looks attractive on everyone, and competence leads to confidence. Learning the right dating strategies will help you feel stronger, smarter, and fiercer as you put yourself out there. You’ll never feel the need to settle for less.

Positive Romantic Action

If you are waiting for destiny to ‘accidentally’ bring you love, you will be waiting a long time. Miracles do happen, but you need to create opportunities for those miracles to come to life. You need to put yourself out there, meet men, and go on dates.

Every man you meet brings you closer to meeting the right man for you. It teaches you things about yourself and allows you to practice your dating skills. High-quality men are everywhere, and positive romantic action will get things moving in the right direction.

Do the Inner Work

Based on my personal experience and the experience of my clients, the inner work is the most important work. Learning how to flirt or text is easy compared to learning how to let go of past hurts or limiting beliefs and rebuild confidence.

This inner work is the true key to your success in dating because it creates a positive foundation of self-love. And self-love is what leads you to a loving, happy, healthy long-term relationship.

If you feel that you’re missing one or more of the key ingredients you need to find love, you can learn more about my coaching program, where we focus on transformation from the inside out.

Let’s have a conversation.

Which of these four ingredients has created the biggest impact on your dating life? What would you change, if you knew how, so you could create a more positive result?

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The Author

Michele Burghardt is an author, speaker, and dating coach for women 50 and over with 20 + years of experience in the self-help area. She believes loving yourself is the first step to finding love. You can learn more about her transformational coaching style and her book at

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