Fall for me is like New Year’s Eve for many others. My summers are often crazy (in a great way) and tend to be completely unscheduled. When September rolls around, I begin to sit down and think about how I’d like my year to look moving forward.
I consider my goals each fall as well as how I intend to achieve them.
And if I’m being honest, this fall I find myself struggling a bit.
I have always been a very scheduled person with substantial “to do” lists. But this year I don’t have job commitments. My commitments are to myself, my family, and the community of women in Life Balance After 50.
During this past year I started saying “no” to things that were not on my top priority list, and it is the first year I have found myself with nothing left but my main priorities.
Which is a fabulous feeling and one that I don’t quite know what to do with!
As I consider what my goals might be for this fall, there are three commitments that I am going to practice daily. I know that when I do this consistently, regardless of what is on my “to do” list each day, that I will have a fabulous day and week.
And I know from experience that there are days when it will be EXTREMELY messy! Days that won’t go according to my plan – which, for this control freak, can be a huge issue!
Many of us suffer from the negative core belief that things must be done perfectly and if they can’t be done perfectly, they won’t happen. This belief can often prevent us from taking any action at all. It can prevent us from trying something new that we might absolutely love.
At this stage of the game, that is exactly what we should be striving to do – trying out things that we might love.
Perfection be damned!
There will be days when I don’t get done what’s on my “to do” list because something better came along! Or maybe something awful came along that required my attention. Regardless, I will strive to live my best life each and every day. Even when it’s messy.
This has been a practice that I started last summer after going through a very stressful spring. I realized that never in my life had I been fully present for any event or experience. I was always worried about something, planning something that had zero to do with my current situation, or imagining something that could go wrong. Even during the most joyful occasions.
I began working very hard each day to remind myself to be fully present in what I was doing. To revel in my grandchildren’s laughter. To truly LISTEN to what my husband was saying to me without thinking about what I was going to make for dinner or what I was going to say back to him.
This was difficult at first. I was reminding myself constantly. It is not second nature to me and may never be, but it’s much easier than it was at the outset. And something that I will continue to practice daily until my dying day.
It has allowed me to fully embrace the joyful moments in each day and realize that there are many. Additionally, it has allowed me to accept the painful moments. We have to be present in all of the emotions – not just the happy ones.
This goes along with the practice of being fully present.
We’ve spent our lives with a set of core beliefs that can often interfere with our ability to live our best life. Beliefs such as:
And the list goes on.
We’ve lived with these beliefs for 50+ years, so the likelihood is that they aren’t going to magically disappear.
BUT… when we are in situations where we are aware that they are preventing us from doing something, or helping us to make excuses, the awareness can help us push past our anxiety and power through.
Being self-aware can help us to live our best lives. And I intend to practice this daily as I move forward this fall.
What does fall represent for you? Is it a time when you set goals? Do you have perfectionist core beliefs that might be standing in the way of you living your best life?