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Letting Go of My 15 Pounds

By Ilene Marcus April 20, 2023 Mindset

I vowed to get some of my to-do list done today and not fritter it away by binge-watching a new show. Here’s how it starts: I plan to savor one episode to relax as I eat my breakfast, half of a gluten-free bagel with fat-free cream cheese, a few ounces of smoked salmon, and a thin slice of onion along with a steaming hot cup of coffee.

Where Do I Get Off Track?

Three hours later, the other half of the bagel is long gone, I have gulped down not one, but two cups of coffee with the third cup almost gone. I scratch my head and wonder where I got off track.

Honestly, it’s not only the streaming shows that I lose time to. I can spend hours tinkering in my yard and not making a dent in the leaves, or the weeds in the garden, or raking the fallen branches close to the driveway.

I can labor at my desk for an entire afternoon, organizing and lining up my bills, mail, and correspondence, placing them in piles, adding notes about what needs to be done, and yet not responding or being able to move them into the completed pile.

Not Fitting Right

Over the last week, as the weather changed drastically, so did my frustration with my closet filled with turtlenecks, fleece-lined pants, and wool socks. Is it possible that just three weeks ago I was shoveling snow? I was dreading digging out my summer clothes.

Now that I am older and wiser and have done the major lifting of keeping what I love in front of me and letting go of the rest, I still have to prune. Some items are only meant to be worn for a season or two, or aren’t made to last, the fabric pulls or shrinks. Other items, although I love them, need to be retired due to a stain, too many holes (already patched up), the fabric thinning, or it just doesn’t fit right anymore.

Not fitting right is at the center of this juggernaut for me. Items I want to fit on my body or in my lifestyle, but they never seem to work out. And the biggest obstacle of all is that 15 pounds, which is a tad underestimating.

The Dreaded 15 Pounds

There are reasons for this weight gain post-Covid, post-winter, post-breakup. Pulling out my summer clothes, that show more of my body, I have to be honest about how my body has changed. And that makes me want to not eat the other half of the bagel in one sitting.

Now, I have awareness of the pattern, and I know vowing to change and wanting the change is not enough. I must take action to make it so.

So, instead of eating my breakfast in front of the TV, the first change I executed was switching to a different space. I sat in the kitchen and had my breakfast and coffee there.

When done, I charged into my bedroom and started the process of swapping out my closet. This necessitated carrying the spring and summer clothes from my storage closet into my bedroom. That was the second change, not delaying; doing the work when it needs to get done.

I emptied bags of light-colored tops, swimsuits, skorts, and linen pants, and refolded fleece leggings and sweaters back into the bags till their season comes around again. Looking at my winter garments, inspecting every item, and discarding what needs to go, I listened to the news.

Record rain caused massive flooding in Florida, a rouge National Guard agent leaked classified documents, protestors in France raging against increasing the national retirement age, and the continued fallout in Ukraine.

I started to feel guilty that my biggest problem is lying to myself about the 15-plus pounds I gained and trying to hide it from myself and others. The more I thought about it, the more I beat myself up about gaining those pounds, thinking about those pounds, and not thinking about others. I was stuck in only thinking about my situation and my 15 pounds.

Listening to the news snapped me back to reality. What others are facing may be way worse, or in some cases may be better, such as lugging around 30 pounds or only carrying 5 pounds. My job is to learn to honor their journey and my own and not compare and despair.

This is critical here. If I compare myself to someone who has more problems, and heavier burdens, I tend to feel better about my own. When someone has less than me, I feel worse about my own. The key word here is “own.”

Own What Is Mind

Own what is yours and take steps to address it. For me this morning it was only eating half the bagel and accepting those 15 pounds.

How did I change my actions? By changing my mindset. I honored others’ burdens but carried my own first. Here are the steps I took to change direction:

What Will I Be Saying Later?

I play it ahead in my mind and think it all the way through, such as four hours later, when I haven’t accomplished anything but have eaten the whole bagel, what will I be saying to myself? Will I still be beating myself up? (Probably). How different will I feel if I use the time wisely and do something else?

Stay in my Hula Hoop

If you have ever used a hula hoop, you know it does not have a large circumference. And if you are like me, it takes a lot of effort to keep it moving. Actually, I could never hula hoop; my body just doesn’t move like that. Some do it seamlessly but not me. If I bump into yours or step into it, we both go down. The hula hoop is just a visual, and I need a visual.

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First

Overused and over-popularized for a reason, if you don’t attend to your needs, you are not able – or your capacity diminishes – to take care of others. It is so much easier for me to reach out and help you with your situation, problems, and crisis than it is to attend to my own and make sure my house is in order.

In the short run, if I want to help you and the world in general, I have to make sure I am fully functioning and attentive first.

It’s Only 10 Minutes

Drawer by drawer, paper by paper, beloved household item by item, the more you clean and prune, the easier it is to clean and prune. Don’t wait for a disaster to get moving, such as when your basement is flooded, you have to run out and can’t find the right clothes or you have to leave town to find what you need.

Working at it gradually, even 10 dedicated minutes at a time, makes a difference in the long run. Use your time wisely; you can’t make more of it or get it back.

Pro Tip on Discarding Items

Here’s a professional hint: What you are disposing of, toss it right in the garbage or recycling pile and bring it to the curb, or in my case, drive directly (“do not pass go”) to the transfer station immediately or it may find its way back into your closet.

Make very few exceptions and think, “If I wanted to feel good, would I reach for this item?” If the answer is “No,” it goes into the discard pile. Don’t second-guess your intuition.

What’s Next:

Honor all the truths. Take small steps that make a huge difference over time. Chip away at those big issues by spending some time on yourself and then time with others. Take action to let go of your 15 pounds and slowly and steadily the situation will change.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you use your time wisely or do you tend to procrastinate? What was the last project you tackled and how did you manage it? How often do you find time to work on yourself and what progress have you made to date? What encompasses your 15 pounds?

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Lisa Stege

For me, the binging is done on my laptop in the morning with my coffee. Once I get my day started, I find it easier to stay away from the computer most of the time. I never turn on the TV while the Sun is in the sky, either. I find that putting music on when doing those tasks such as paper sorting or clothing organization is much better than the news. Why bring yourself down?

Ilene marcus

Yes we can binge on anything – find what motivates and moves us forward!

Linda

That’s me too…..knowing exactly what I SHOULD do, and then either not doing it or procrastinating until some external deadline (like tax time) forces me to do the work. It seems that the older I get the less I want anything to do with activities that feel like work, even though putting things off makes life more difficult in the long run. Thanks for the tips to help turn this bad habit around.

Ilene marcus

Should is one of my least favorite words!

Ria

FYI, the National Guard agent was rogue-ish but not red in color😉 (rouge). Turns out he was trying to impress his virtual “friends” in a game chat group & was surprised when they shared his “secrets”.
Back on topic, cause I too get distracted, I have found turning hangers the “wrong” way in the closet at the beginning of the new season, makes eliminating things I don’t use easier. If the hanger is still wrong way round at the end of the season (re-pack time) then that piece needs to go to charity, as I haven’t worn it that season.
My 15 is actually 50. Finally, seeking endocrinology advice regarding it.
Great article.

Ilene marcus

Good tip on the hangers. Have in there!

KVS

I enjoyed the candidness of this article. You stated things very directly and without sugarcoating it. One of the biggest hurdles was accepting growing older and my body changing mostly due to gravity which requires me to dress differently. Fortunately, I never wore tight-fitting clothes so I’m able to “grow” in the ones I have especially in those particular places (ladies, you know what I mean). Just today, I was going through clothes which I’ve saved for decades and they’re still in great shape because I took great care of them. When I semi-retired 6 months ago, I stopped clothes shopping. That commitment was the key unlocking so many realities for me. Recycling, saving money, giving clothes away to women who are in need, facing my clothes-buying-addiction and feeling great I no longer need to feed it, taking 4 mile walks 3x a week. What I’m learning is how capable I am and that I’m digging into anything I set my mind to. I did however struggle with guilt for not completing all the projects at the pace I burden myself with. But a friend reminded me to stop pressuring myself. She said, “you worked for over 40 years and survived difficult losses. You earned taking as long as you need without a moment of guilt.” That set me free. I’m happier, kinder to myself and after leaving a job that shaped me into someone I really wasn’t, I feel I’ve finally recovered myself.

Ilene marcus

What a great place to be!

Carol Chignell

What a brilliant article

Ilene marcus

Thanks!

The Author

Ilene Marcus, MSW, MPA, is the author of Managing Annoying People and runs Aligned Workplace, speaking and training Leaders and Founders to attract and retain great employees. An emerging literary writer, her goal is to make you smile just a bit more. Please visit her website at Alignedworkplace.com.

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