When I was middle-aged, I felt, well, middle-aged. I was hormonal, my weight fluctuated daily, my temperature fluctuated by the second. I had a wad of belly fat around my middle, I felt lethargic and lacking energy. It seemed like overnight I had lost my sparkle.
My hair, once thick and bouncy, became lacklustre and thinning, my skin changed from a reasonably dewy glow to a dry, flaky, tissue-like mask. When I had hot flushes, my face turned bright red, as though I had been sunburnt. I thought, If I am like this now, I don’t ever want to be old.
If I am honest, I found middle age a bit scary. I had lost my youth and along with that some of my confidence. I felt less and less attractive and really didn’t like the fatigue and utter exhaustion, that made me want to sleep, at a time when sleep didn’t want me.
So, I would lay awake for hours, sweating, procrastinating, wondering what life was all about and how it was all going to be downhill from now on. My 50s seemed to drag on forever, and with my looming 60th birthday I could feel a deep sense of dread.
And then a funny thing happened. I hit 60. I waited for the terrible downhill which was obviously coming my way…
Only it didn’t.
My weight slipped back to normal, my spare tyre seemed to just pop. My hair began to shine again and though I would never have the gorgeous complexion of my younger years, my skin did regain some of its previous soft plumpness.
But best of all, my temperature miraculously went back to normal. No more night sweats! I can’t pretend I had the body of a 30-year-old, but I was very happy with the body I had of a 60-year-old, it was so much better than I had expected.
So, I bought an abandoned, unloved house in France and set about making it beautiful again. It was like therapy for me. Day after day I would take up floors, repair ceilings, load mountains of rubbish into my car, tile the bathroom/kitchen, sand the wooden beams, paint, varnish, scrub. I was so energised!
Watching this sad, old, dilapidated building come to life was like watching myself unfold. I became stronger, braver, more confident than I had been for at least a decade. I started to think about what I really wanted in life and began making plans to get it. Every time I drove up in front of my lovely house, with its china blue shutters and window boxes filled with bright red geraniums, I beamed with pride. :)
After it was finished, I became a full-time traveller, going all over the world on my own, having more fun than I could have imagined. When I returned, I started writing again and have written a few books. I am a Guest Blogger on Sixty and Me and have just launched my own blog Growing Old, Growing Free.
Not bad for an old lady!
I guess I felt like I had gone from being a tatty runaround with a bit of rust around the edges to, maybe not quite a Ferrari, but at least a little vintage model that was starting to purr again. It felt wonderful, mostly because it was the last thing I had expected.
Life is exciting, it just keeps getting better and better and instead of dreading a change in my next decade, I will embrace it and see what challenges, and what wonderful surprises, it has in store for me!
Are your 60s better than your 50s? Do you feel stronger than before? Were there major changes?
Tags Getting Older
I’m 62. I don’t necessarily think it’s better than 52. At 52, I had a delightful 10year old son, and had a small consulting business with my husband. Now I’m an empty nester and busy with succession planning. At 52, I was excited about the future, and had a full life. I still feel that way, although my life is quite different! Now I am looking to be more involved with the business community and community generally, and am excited about the opportunities that I see opening up. I am halfway through an MBA. A lot of work, but wonderful to be studying a Masters Degree and be the oldest person on the course. The course is helping me process some things in my life, as well as give me confidence for this next phase. I am just aware that I will be in the grave soon enough, so why not do things while I can? I feel that I have a lot to share and am looking forward to helping other people and other businesses. I just see so many things that I could do and ways that I can have an impact. This next phase feels very exciting!
Hi Ingrid, thanks for joining in. You certainly seem to be a very busy lady! Well done for taking your MBA! I have wanted to do a Masters but haven’t managed to get round to it, maybe next year! Lily x
While the beginning of this article sounded a lot like me. The second part doesn’t at all. My spare tire is still there and I still am much warmer than anyone else in the room. Buying a lovely old home in France sounds delightful but my finances not only don’t allow me to do anything anywhere near that, I can’t even afford to go to France now. I would love to see an article about women like me! I am 68, getting a divorce and overweight by at least 20 lbs, that just simply won’t budge. I will not be able to live the life style I would like to, had planned to, because my soon to be ex husband will be taking half of our assets and investments with him. My girl friends all tell me I am still very attractive and will land a new man in no time. But I am not so sure that is what I want, actually right now I have no idea what I do want…I am feeling scared of the new life I will now have. Financially and socially. Being a 3rd wheel is just not me, yet I really enjoy a nice dinner out or dancing. So, I leave you with this..sometimes being in your 60’s just plane sucks…
Sorry to hear this Lorrie. However I have to say that I liked the tone of your email, you just sound like a really decent down to earth person with a bit of a sense of humour. So true, life can suck sometimes. I think we can have everything in life (maybe) but just not all at once. It’s a big transition that you are going through in your life, and maybe you can also go through a personal transition. There is the possibility of coming out of this in a year or two feeling wiser, humbler, and appreciative of everything and everyone in your life, i.e. happy. Maybe that is enough to want? And it is right there, for you to grasp, in the midst of the shittiness… We’ve all been through hard times, they just happen at different times in our life. (for me: in my 30s). Best wishes and warmth to you.
Hi Lorrie, Thank you for joining in.I agree that it can be harder to shift a few pounds when you are older. I think I lost mine while working on my house in France. By the way, the house only cost seven thousand euros (plus tax), so there are places to buy if that is something you would enjoy. I hope life becomes a little kinder to you soon. Lily x
I was ecstatic to get to 50 because the same year I got to the end of 5 years remission from aggressive breast cancer and I also had my 25th wedding anniversary.
60 didn’t worry me despite having to undergo a hysterectomy 10 days before and now I just take each day as it comes.I chose some very funky raspberry pink framed glasses this week as a nod to fashion.
Hi Linda, Thanks for joining in. You have a wonderful attitude on life and I love the idea of funky raspberry glasses! Lily x
They were ok!
70 slowly becomes a bit more challenging. Don’t say your age any more than you need too… your face will hear it!
The hill can get a little steeper in the 70s.. Keep moving is probably part of the key.
Remember….pick up your feet more than you think you need to when you walk! Shuffling can cause a fall….don’t need that!
Hi Kathleen, thanks for joining the conversation.That is really good advise! I have just started wall pilates and I think it is really helping me. Lily x
Good article. My 50s were uneventful. I had a hysterectormy early in life at around 31, so there was no menses since then. I seemed to have a prolonged natural hormone change process. I turn 60 next month, and yes 60 is making me sleepy and slow, and with a rubber tyre and occasional mood swings. My hair is not yet thin. I am embracing me slowly and surely, working on being more active and not giving up on my dream projects. I am keeping doors open. i hope natural weight loss linked to aging is just ahead of me. I have accepted Youth as super beauties, and i have accepted the aging journey. Looking forward to positive dialogue on senior life. Embracing grandma role, as i remember my own grandma. Understanding that the younger generation has its ways, i marvel as i observe and let them be. I commit to seeing 70, and keeping an active life till then…and much more…
Mid 70’s is kicking my a##
Hi Harriet, thanks for joining the conversation. Happy birthday for next month! From my own experience my weight went back to normal at 60+ and I really did gain more energy. Hopefully that is coming your way! Lily x
At almost 67 all that challenges me is the rubber tire. I work out, do yoga and pilates, but every morning the tire greets me. I’ve changed my diet and increased my water yet the tire remains. I’m beginning to think it’s a lifelong attachment. Not happy.
Hi Rita, thanks for joining in.I’m sorry to hear that. I think sometimes we have things because of our genetics, and no matter how much we try, they don’t change. I am sure your healthy exercises are doing you lots of ‘unseen’ good so don’t give up!Lily x