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Never Be Invisible Again! 3 Secrets to Being Seen After 60

By Sherry Bronson January 30, 2024 Mindset

There’s a rumor circulating that after a certain age women disappear. Not literally, of course, but for all practical purposes many older women feel overlooked, dismissed and ignored. Curiosity drove me to investigate why some of us fade out while others continue to be noticed.

But before I divulge the secrets to banishing the cloak of invisibility forever, I think it’s important to validate what happens to women as we leave menopause behind.

Portrait of a Disappearing Woman

First of all, everything changes. Our metabolism slows. Sexy curves redistribute. The waist thickens, the butt flattens, and the breasts sag. Simultaneously our once tight skin develops the elasticity of an old bra strap, and our thinning hair goes gray.

Nobody can really prepare for these changes and when they come, depression often comes too. Low-grade, nagging unhappiness weakens our immune system. Health deteriorates, and the earmarks of aging: pill boxes, supplements, and laxative milk shakes, are our new companions.

Mentally, our focus shifts from outer interests to an unhealthy obsession with the latest trip to the doctor, what medications we’re taking, and the procedures that might be required. We’re eager to acquaint anyone who will listen with a detailed litany of our maladies, real or imagined. Fascinating stuff, right? Wait. There’s more.

Accompanying the fixation on body betrayal, the way we carry ourselves morphs. A slower gait develops with no spring in our step. Shoulders hunch forward, the back curves, the stomach pooches and frown lines wrinkle the face.

The Disappearing Woman Explained

That’s a portrait of the woman who disappears. Why?

Because somewhere in the deep recesses of the brain everyone knows that they, too, will get old, and they’re terrified. So, it’s easier not to look at the mature shopper shuffling through the grocery aisles, leaning on the cart, with a mouth drooping downward at the corners. It reminds the younger set of its own mortality.

And those same Gen-X, Gen-Y, and Millennial people don’t engage the blue-haired neighbor down the hall because they might be roped into listening to her medical history before she even knows their names. I wish I were exaggerating.

The sad truth is that we’ve largely done it to ourselves. The cloak of invisibility is the dubious reward for small choices along the way that changed us from interesting “outties” to self-absorbed “innies.”

Redrawing the Portrait

But you can turn this around. Here are the secrets told to me by older women who claim they have never been overlooked for a single moment of their lives.

Secret Number One

Fill your lungs with air, lift your chin, throw your shoulders back, and sit and stand tall. Good posture shaves off 30 pounds and 20 years.

Secret Number Two

Walk like you’re going somewhere. Talk like you know what’s happening in the world. Ask questions like you’re interested in someone other than yourself.

Secret Number Three

Look in the mirror and practice a pleasant face. An impish smile that says, “I know the secret to long life and happiness and if you’re very, very good I just might share it with you!” is practically irresistible.

That’s it. Really. My saucy sources guarantee if you make those simple adjustments that cost nothing, you will not go unnoticed. People will seek you out. But be careful. I tried it and their prescription has serious side effects. You’ll immediately look and feel younger, and over time this behavior could make you a healthier, happier person.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you sometimes feel invisible and ignored in today’s world? What techniques do you use to remove that invisibility cloak and look and feel younger and more vibrant? Do you agree with these secrets to avoid feeling overlooked? Share your comments – and secrets – in the comments.

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S Miller

Why is it always women that must change? The mystognic society should change.


There is NOTHING in this article that tells women they must lose weight, color her hair, put on makeup. It emphasizes have a positive attitude and mindset. Stand up straight, put your shoulders back is not misogynistic. Not everything needs to be “labeled” or mislabled.


Why would anyone want to live their life as a doddering old person? that’s why they need to change.

Vicki in Sausalito

I actually don’t agree at all. And please don’t say our invisibility has been brought on by our own selves. Our culture values young, attractive women. Once we’ve moved beyond that, we are discarded. It’s sexism. (And I actually never talk about my physical ailments or bore people with medical data. But that’s not the point.)

Sherry Bronson

Our culture does indeed value young, attractive women and we elders are under-appreciated. That’s Ageism. That being said, our attitude makes a huge difference, to our own well-being and to how we are perceived by others. If we view ourselves as old and unimportant, how can we expect others to see us any differently?

Liza Denton

So agree with you, Vicki. Our society values youth above all else & until this attitude changes (which will be never), ageism will continue. I also never talk about my health since it is such a boring topic no matter who talks about it!


Be kind and smile; nothing is more engaging.

Sherry Bronson

When I first visited Bali, the beautiful smiles and authentic kindness of the Balinese people thrilled me. That’s why I moved there and stayed for 10 amazing years. Heartwarming kindness, an engaging smile… those are magical.


I believe the smile can be accomplished by the smile behind the eyes, search on yt v=OQ8o3ZtK_aI for alexander technique. The slack face affects all ages. The portrait of an elder FM Alexander smirking is very helpful.


This article is so true. We older women are a young person’s future and worst nightmare and they would rather not face it. However, I’m 71 and have had a fascinating life and career. It still is interesting, and I make sure to keep it that way. I ask myself why older people carry themselves like they are headed to the grave? I purposely walk fast, lift weights to keep my skeletal system strong, never talk about medications or ailments (I don’t have any) and don’t bore people with talk about the good ol’ days or grandchildren. No one cares. They will tune you out. I don’t talk about myself unless asked directly, at which time I might share a short anecdote about an especially interesting incident. After all these years, there are a few. Younger people love to outdo each other with the stories about where they’ve been and what they’ve done. It’s a different generation where “me” is the central figure. I just sit back and listen, (a little smugly, perhaps) smile and nod. Their stories are rarely interesting either. I don’t say much, but when I finally talk, people do listen as long as the story is unique. Talk with emphasis and inflection in your voice, don’t ramble, let your face light up. Also, I frequently follow up with a question of my own to keep people engaged. It doesn’t get me invitations to share a beer (thankfully), but at least they don’t shut down when I’m around.

Sherry Bronson

Good for you! Thank you for your story.

Susan G. Mahaney

Margaret…right on! I have been lifting and running for now 46 years (I’m 72), but my secret power is rope jumping with lots of double unders!

Sherry Bronson

I am bowing at your feet!!! I attempted jump roping about two years ago and could barely last to the count of 5. That is the most strenuous workout I’ve ever tried! Way more difficult that jumping jacks. I’m so impressed!

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The Author

Sherry Bronson is a writer and traveler. After downsizing, she spent ten thrilling years in Bali, then a year exploring Mexico. Now, she's in northern Minnesota rehabbing a derelict hunting cabin on the family farm. On her blog, Sherry encourages readers to fearlessly and fully live their own authentic lives.

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