Scavenger Hunts are Fun, But Not When It Comes to Your Parents’ OR Your Finances!

If something happened to one of your parents OR you tomorrow, would family know what to do? Or where to find the financial information?

Role Reversal

Role reversal, at least at first, can feel awkward or just not quite right even when it may be needed. You may go from caring for children to caring for a parent in physical, financial or other ways. And then you may begin to think about how not far away it might be before you are the aging parent needing help. Revolving roles and role reversals!

The Financial Scavenger Hunt

You may know exactly where your important financial documents are, how your bills get paid, and who to call when something needs attention. But does anyone else? And if you’re helping aging parents, do you know those same things about their finances? Getting financially organized isn’t just about preparing for the day someone is gone. It’s about making life easier today, protecting independence, and ensuring a trusted person can step in when needed – without having to become a financial detective.

Looking backward: Do you know where your parents keep their financial accounts, insurance policies, estate documents, passwords, and important contacts? Would you know what to do if they needed help tomorrow? How about their legal and care wishes, is that in writing and do you know where it’s located?

Looking forward: Would your spouse, adult children, or trusted person know the same things about your financial life?

Where to Begin?

I find that starting with your own situation is best, mostly so you are familiar with some of the tasks and decisions involved. Almost 10 years ago, I wrote a small checklist book of all the “get ready” things I have helped clients think through and put in place over the years. I turned the book into blog topics, taught classes about it, and had walked the talk myself in getting our financial house in order.

After a year of teaching classes on the subject, I had a gentleman attend a second time to show me the binder he had put together for him and his wife. He was beaming, knowing the value it would bring to them and their family later. I was so proud of him. I recently met with a gentleman who told me he followed my book “to the letter.” He chose electronic records and a thumb drive to compile their information vs a binder. Your format is irrelevant. It’s the content AND the fact that you tell someone about it that’s important so the valuable information is findable.

Helping Parents

Not long after I wrote my little book series, I turned my attention to my parents. My dad felt confident that all was in place and he was right. But mom was unaware of the details or location of information, and she liked it that way. But knowing that I would be involved someday, as the Executor and Financial POA, I asked my dad to show me where everything was so he did. He didn’t offer anything further, but I knew I could compile what was needed later if necessary. Soon dementia set in, and I used the time to compile the details so that later when I needed to step in to help my mom, it was seamless.

Another woman told me that she felt like her family was “the poster child” for how much the checklist book can help. Her implementation of the steps with her parents made their journey so much less stressful when it came time for both of them to need care at home and then eventually in a local senior living option. And another woman, listed as the Successor Trustee and Financial POA for her parents, recently shared that her mother was so grateful when she inquired about their wishes, she was glad to talk about it.

A great book to help with approaching this conversation with parents is Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk by Cameron Huddleston. Everyone is different in their comfort level in asking as well as the willingness of parents to share information. Cameron’s book does a great job of covering all those bases with suggestions for every situation.

Helping Yourself

Once you lose a parent or especially a spouse, your thoughts particularly turn to focusing on leaving memories and not a mess for your own family. Widows especially have that top of mind after going through their own experience. I specifically remember hearing “I am not putting my son through that!” (having dealt with 12 different accounts at four banks). Or the realization that the more organized and less work there would be for a fiduciary company (since there were no family members to name once she lost her husband in that situation), the more money would be left in the estate to distribute to charity.

Getting financially organized instead of leaving a financial scavenger hunt is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, your aging parents, and the people who may someday need to step in.

More on the topic: The Holiday Gift of Being Financially Organized.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What family experiences have you had with organizing financial information? Can you share anything you learned? What are you doing differently because of it? Any advice for other women in your shoes? Let’s have a discussion.