Retired but Restless? Discover What Matters

Don’t most of us live lives of achievement? We gain knowledge, learn skills, nurture families, accomplish at work, volunteer, etc. We look back and usually feel pretty good about the life we have lived. Right?

Then, the time arrives for us to leave the obligations of work and striving behind. For many of us, this conjures pictures of leisure, perhaps travel, golf, gardening, or hobbies of some kind. Often, we throw in a day of volunteer work now and then, so we feel like we are contributing. Sometimes we have caregiving responsibilities – friends, partner, parent, or grandchildren.

Here is the crucial question for us as we navigate what can be the next 20-30 years of life: “Do I feel fulfilled and satisfied?” For some of us, whether we retired (or your version of it) for six weeks, six months or six years, there can be an awakening that something more is calling in life, that growing and a sense of meaning is still very relevant.

So, we may seek a new goal. Perhaps return to work or something similar. Or we may simply feel lost, searching for our path forward. Let us explore what may be worth considering as you seek your path ahead. What if what comes next isn’t more achievement? What if it is even more satisfying?

The Post Full-Time Skid

Almost all my clients are accomplished women between 65 and 80, who have built businesses or enjoyed growing in a professional life, and raised families. They come to me because they feel lost. They have always had a path to follow and now can see no signposts nor paths before them.

What many have discovered is that “keeping busy” does not fill that nagging sense that there is more meaning to be experienced in this life.

There is a higher level of being calling in this phase of life for those of us blessed with safety, resources, satisfactory health, and a desire to live fully.

Maslow Lives On

Many of us are familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It strikes me that our phase of life may have brought us to the peak of the pyramid, Self-Actualization, or as I like to say it, being who we are here to be now.

You may be asking yourself, how does a person self-actualize, really? We know how to achieve, so the tendency is to look for the next achievement. The problem is that for those of us approaching or in our 70s, simply filling life with another achievement may not “scratch the itch” of what you truly are seeking.

It Is About Meaning

Seeking meaning is different than achieving. We are not fulfilling an external obligation or goal. We are fulfilling at a much deeper level, what some would call soul or heart. The point is that knowing what matters comes from within us, rather than being externally driven.

Of course, what truly calls you may appear to be an achievement. Around 4 million small businesses are owned by people over 65 in the United States. I am one of those. I launched this business at 70. I am very clear that this is my calling; I took quite the journey to get here! I have friends who wonder why I still need to ‘achieve’ because they live with the mindset that this is a time to relax. What they do not sense is that what I do does not feel like achieving. It feels like me being who I am here to be at this time in my life.

Some people find meaning in adapting skills to new contexts laden with some value that matters, for example having a career in finance transitions to helping older adults with financial issues. For others, meaning is found through creativity. We know that “Grandma Moses” started painting in her 70s; Laura Ingalls Wilder began writing in her 60s; Colonel Sanders launched his business in his 60s. I don’t know if these endeavors felt like “callings,” but I’ll bet they did!

Getting There from Here

 If you are one of us seeking more meaning in life, here are some ideas to get you started.

Notice Your Mindset

Do you truly believe that it is possible to live a life that enfolds you with meaning? Do you feel you deserve it? Will it be “too hard?” Note: It is not hard because you are living in flow with life and your desires.

Daydream Freely

Take the time to daydream. Take age out of it. What life could you create that makes you smile, feel full, and feel happy? Who are you in that life? How do you feel? Then, notice what you are doing and who you are with.

Explore the World

Explore the world to see what aligns with the life energy you want. Notice the world broadly and deeply for clues.

Move in that Direction

Take a step toward something that draws you. How does it feel to take that step? If all systems go, then take another one!

Here Is an Example

A 67-year-old woman felt without direction. She was over-giving to groups and had few boundaries with her family. She spent time getting in touch with herself and learned to listen to her own inner voice. She experimented with new ways of acting and explored new experiences and people. Out of this she came to a place of “finding home.” The “home” is really within her. She stepped into volunteering in a more powerful way to make a difference regarding climate issues. This mission is her passion now.

Let’s Talk About It:

What about you? How did you handle your transition into your later 60s and 70s? What brings meaning into your life? Where are you on your journey? If you have found meaning in this phase of life, tell us your story!