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What Stepping into the Unknown Has Taught Me

By Lily Bradshaw August 19, 2024 Mindset

You would think by the time we reached 60 we would have it all figured out. There wouldn’t be a single thing that fazed us or we thought we couldn’t handle. We have experienced so much, made thousands of decisions, some good, some not so good. We have laughed and we have cried, but we have always got through, and somehow reached the other side, even when we started off thinking it was impossible. 

All the Answers?

And here we are now, wise, knowledgeable, experienced through the decades of life, and with all the right answers to every problem that ever will be… 

Oh, but wait, you don’t have them all? 

Well, neither does anyone else! Even those who are incredibly clever, or who live to be a hundred. In truth, we never will. Life just keeps on giving us more problems to solve, and one way or another, we solve them. It is the very essence of the journey, and though we may think we would like life to always be on an even keel, the reality is, solving problems is how we learn and grow, and it is an essential part of living.

Just Take the First Step

Sometimes the problem may seem too hard, the mountain too high, and we may feel overwhelmed by the thought of what lies ahead of us. Perhaps a divorce, serious health issues, the loss of a loved one, money worries? But if we break it down into manageable pieces, we can take one step at a time, and just keep on going. Before we know it, we are halfway there.

When I feel a little overwhelmed by a situation, I often think of this quote from The Horse, The Boy and The Mole:

“Can you see the next step?”

“Yes.”

“Then just take that.”

Manageable Pieces

Imagine you have lived in a large house for many years and are downsizing. To look at sorting and packing everything at the same time could totally overwhelm you. But if you break it down into floors, rooms, or even cupboards, it suddenly becomes more feasible.

The same is true for health. If you have a health problem that seems insurmountable, breaking it down makes it much easier to cope with. Perhaps dividing it into the number of treatments, or the weeks or months ahead. Maybe even planning a treat or celebration for when it is over.

Make Your Wishes Known

We can also take steps to address other things that we find ourselves delaying. I am just finishing putting together an ‘End Of Life’ file for when I am no longer around. I put it off for a long while because I thought it would be morbid and make me sad, but in reality, the opposite has happened.

I no longer worry that my loved ones will have to make decisions at a time when they may be sad or grieving. They won’t need to rummage for my birth certificate, bank details or passport, because they are all safely stashed away in my file. I have also added one of my favourite poems, some music and written a little article that I hope will make them smile :). They will know my wishes.

The one thing we all know when someone is born is that, at some point, we will die. Yet many of us sweep it under the carpet, perhaps thinking it will go away, often leaving the people who care about us with the task of guessing what we would want. Of course, I hope I am around for many more years to come, but I feel so much better knowing this is done.

Accept the Challenge

So whatever challenges lie ahead, both good and bad, don’t fear the unknown. Often, we cannot change things, even if we want to. Accept the challenge and take that first step, then another and another, and before long you will be boldly going where you haven’t been before, and who knows where that could lead to?

Join the Conversation:

Do you procrastinate too much? How do you tackle difficult issues? Have you made an ‘End Of Life’ file?

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Jacquelyn Diane Harris

My current state of mind is just the same as in this article with two of the main tasks being what was mentioned here, downsizing and making sure all of my papers are accessible to my executor should I die. I plan to inventory each room and place what I do not want into a corner in each room to see how much I have to get rid of. I’m hoping the next step is to actually call someone and get rid of it. I also have to find a smaller house and sell this one. My husband and I did an end of life kit and it’s there in the bedroom but I often wonder if I’ve included everything that my daughter or whomever will need to execute my wishes. I think I’ll have her look through what I have and see if she can think of anything. I am grateful for this article as it has reminded me of what I need to do.

Karen

I wish I had read this article a month ago I’m 68. My father just passed. I took care of him with vascular dementia. He took care of me with cancer and I had 68 years of my parents life to go through. It was heart wrenching it almost broke me, if I had just broken it down room to room, but I was being pressured by the realtor. Thank you for this article and I love your end of life file. That’s a wonderful idea to have everything in one place.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Karen, thanks for joining the conversation. I am sorry to hear about your father but it is wonderful that you had such a caring relationship. I hope it brings you comfort. I am sad to see your realtor put you under pressure when you had just been bereaved. Take care of yourself. Lily x

lilybradshaw88

Hi Jacquelyn, Thank you for joining the conversation. Just take your time, one step at a time and remember to take a break. I always like to reward myself a little after taking on something which takes a lot of time or energy. Perhaps a bunch of flowers or a visit somewhere I like to go. Thank you too for your kind words. Lily x

Annette Weinold

I am a young Lady of 66 years old and I am Danish. It seems to me that a lot of +60 are writing books or are coaching. How come? Seems strange to me..

Lynne

What is it that seems strange Annette? I don’t quite get what you mean! I am 74 and still teach English as a second language…not every day but when the opportunities arise. I am also thinking very seriously of starting online webinar classes. I am looking into this at the moment. Surely doing these kind of things will help keep dementia at bay…keep the old brain ticking over. What do you do in your leisure time or retirement?

lilybradshaw88

Hi Lynne, thanks for joining the conversation. I couldn’t agree more. Lily x

Marlene A.

Hmmm….why does that seem strange to you? Just wondering since those of us in our 60s,70s, and beyond have much to offer in both of those formats.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Marlene, thanks for joining in. I think the older we get the more benefits from writing. I know it keeps my brain constantly ticking :) Lily x

Wendy

I agree with you on the coaching thing. It seems like everyone wants to be a life coach these days.Tony Robbins hit the scene in ’70s and has written many books and given a billion seminars “for growth” some even on his private island. Nothing against Tony, I think he was sent by heaven.

But one school that teaches coaching I think might be crossing the line.

Re: books. Self-publishing is now a thing, so it’s relatively easy to self-publish now.. I think it’s great to ask ourselves questions. I’m glad you asked. :) –Wendy

lilybradshaw88

Hi Annette, thanks for joining the conversation. I think many of us in our sixties, and beyond, not only have a little more time to write, but also a lifetime of wonderful things happening to us, which makes writing both non fiction and fiction, much easier. Lily x

Donna Reges

Lily, thank you for the gift of sharing your perspective on certain facets of growing older and how to meet them in loving, gentle, and meaningful ways. It’s true for me too that “tidying up” the loose ends in my life, thereby making my exit easier for others, has been profoundly freeing. And now, I’m off to the next adventure: chatting with a dear friend over cups of coffee. Let’s do that one day too, Lily.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Donna, thanks for joining the conversation. Thank you too for your kind words. When my mother died many years ago I couldn’t even go to her property and my poor brothers had to deal with it. I promised myself then I would be as ready to leave this beautiful world as I could when my time comes. Enjoy your adventures… coffee sounds wonderful :) Lily x

Teddee Grace

I prefer to consider “challenges” not “problems.” I like the reference from The Horse, The Boy and The Mole about taking the next step:

Jen

It’s hard to take the next step if you are in the dark & can’t see where to put your foot.

lilybradshaw88

Hi Jen, thanks for joining the conversation. I know it can be, but in times like that I like to think outside the box and look for other ways to solve the problem. If I couldn’t ‘see’ the next step, I would use my feet to try to ‘feel’ it. Lily x

lilybradshaw88

Hi Teddy, thanks for joining in. I agree with you. I think life is a series of challenges (I also like to think of them as games!) for us to solve. Pleased you like the quote :) Lily x

Mazedona De La Altadama Craquis Díaz Craqdi Arts

I love this empowerment ♡

lilybradshaw88

Thanks for joining the conversation. This community is very special isn’t it! Lily x

The Author

Lily Bradshaw has had an interesting and varied career. Twenty years working as a psychotherapist and part time lecturer, followed by 20 years of writing educational courses. Now she is enjoying semi retirement writing books and articles that interest her, mostly about having fun and enjoying life. She has spent the last 2 years travelling solo.

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