The Truth About Being Introverted or Extroverted that Most of Us Find Out Too Late
When you think about the word “extrovert,” what comes to mind?
If you are like most people, you probably think that an extrovert is someone who is loud and gregarious – the kind of person who is comfortable in any social situation. The truth is somewhat more complicated.
For most of our lives, we are forced to adapt. When we are climbing the corporate ladder, we don’t have a choice whether to interact with other people. We are expected to be friendly and charming and, for the most part, we succeed. But, just because you are “good with people” doesn’t mean that you are an extrovert.
In fact, a few weeks ago, I spoke with a psychologist friend of mine who helped to clear up the whole introvert/extrovert distinction. He explained to me that an extrovert is actually someone who is energized by groups of people and an introvert is someone who is drained by others. In other words, it’s not about social ability. It’s about what gives us energy.
Why do I mention this here? Because, in my opinion, self-awareness is a key to happiness after 60. Many of us are still following the habits that we established during our working years.
Now that we are approaching retirement age, we have the opportunity to choose a path that makes us truly happy.
Think about yourself for a second. Do you feel energized when you are around other people? Or, do you recharge when you are by yourself? Maybe it’s time to recalibrate your daily activities to match your true personality. Instead of thinking that being an extrovert is “good” because it makes you more social, examine what makes you truly happy. If you really are an extrovert, great! But, I suspect that there are plenty of introverted women out there that could benefit from some serious “me time.”
What do you think about this?
Please take a look at the questions below and join the conversation.
Do you think that it is possible to be an introvert in some situations and an extrovert in others? Or, do you believe in the “energy” explanation of introversion/extroversion? Do you think that knowing whether we are an introvert or an extrovert helps us to understand ourselves better? Why or why not?
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I was in my mid 40s when I took the Meyers-Briggs personality test and learned that I was a strong introvert. I always thought there was something wrong with me because my first thought when arriving at a party was always “When can I go home?” I was so relieved to learn that an introvert’s preference for being alone is not a mental illness. Long periods of being by myself are what get me through the times when I have to be with other people. I’m fortunate to have a husband who understands my need to that balance.
I’m definitely an introvert! Love being by myself. Never lonely!
Thank you for this question, Margaret. Being thoughtful about this at 67 has been invaluable for setting and protecting necessary boundaries. I am an introvert preference and when I finally responded honestly on the MeyersBriggsTypeIndicator, I showed up as a clear INFJ (Introverty/Intuitive/Feeling/Judging). Decades ago, I was in sales and after that, I presented full day public seminars for large groups. The key has always been 1) being wildly interested in the subject 2) building relationship with other human beings and 3) being 100% in charge of my calendar so that intense “extroverted” events were boundaried and followed by deep recovery time. As I climb toward 70, I’m more constantly reminded that these 3 factors are essential to my well being. Thanks for all you do!
This is an interesting topic. I consider myself to be an introvert and people that know me say it’s not true, I am an extrovert. I think most people are both in different ways. I may be an extrovert when with people I know and an introvert when around people I don’t know, sometimes a mix of both. I have days where I am quiet and that is when people think there is a problem and concerned about me. That is far from the truth; there are days I want to just be quiet.