What’s Hot? What’s Not? Trends in Online Dating

Sometimes it seems the world is moving at a breakneck speed. For older online daters, keeping up with the changing technology is a challenge unto itself, let alone figuring out all the options for online dating. The choices of dating platforms and apps seem endless! Online dating has come a very long way in a relatively short time, and with the recent introduction of artificial intelligence technology online dating could become even more complicated. Or will it?

A Brief History

Modern online dating has been around for decades, beginning in 1995 with the launch of Match.com, which at the time was described as an “interactive digital personals service.” As it grew and evolved, other online dating services launched, catering to specific niches, such as the hugely successful Jdate.com and Gay.com, which itself underwent a huge transformation in 2018.

Along the way, online dating became mainstream with the emergence of sites such as eHarmony in 2000. Its claims about “scientifically proven matching system” for marriage-minded daters attracted customers, including myself, and grew into a multi-million dollar dating business behemoth. OKCupid followed suit, launching in 2004 with a free advertising-supported service, attracting 3.5 million users by 2011. I was among those who tried OKCupid, with mixed results.

The emergence of smartphones transformed online dating once again. After its launch in 2012, the phone-based app Tinder became the fastest-growing mobile dating service by showing users matches in their immediate vicinity. Swiping left on a photo meant there was no interest. A swipe to the right meant there was, but users wouldn’t be connected unless both swiped right.

In 2014, Bumble sought to give women more control over the dating experience. On Bumble only women could make the first move. By 2017, it surpassed Tinder as the fastest-growing app with its 22-million users.

Online dating evolved again in 2020 with the pandemic. During the covid lockdown video calls dominated the dating scene. Fueled by the pandemic, the online dating industry expanded again. In 2023, the Pew Research Center found that one-in-ten adults who were either married or in a committed relationship said they met their partners online.

Hitting the Wall – Burnout and Fatigue

But by 2025, it seemed that all the changes, transformations, and choices were taking a toll on online daters. A health survey by Forbes Magazine found that a whopping 78% of online daters were feeling burnout and fatigue. Among baby boomers, 70% of those polled said they felt exhausted, with more women feeling burned out than men.

To fight the “swipe fatigue,” dating platforms are turning to AI, with Grindr, Tinder, and Bumble developing new AI-driven matchmaking tools. A new London-based dating startup is using AI to interview customers about their preferences in hopes of finding suitable dates.

Matchmaking tools are also moving offline, with Tinder, Match, Bumble, and Hinge greatly expanding the creation of offline singles events and social groups that encourage face-to-face meetings. It’s another evolutionary step in modern dating that turns an online dating platform into a “social discovery” one. Tinder is leading the way by rolling out events in 26 cities by the end of September 2026.

What’s Old Is New Again

With the shift to daters meeting each other the old-fashioned face-to-face way, it certainly seems like a full circle moment, making what’s old seem new again. It’s reflected in the numbers, with the company Eventbrite seeing the number of singles events double in three years. When I was online dating, I found some singles social events through MeetUp and the occasional mixer hosted by Match.com. But today singles can find all kinds of different ways to discover love and romance through groups and clubs.

The increase of in-person dating opportunities coincides with the rise of what’s called “intentional” or “mindful” dating. Simply put, daters value the quality of matches over quantity, compatibility over physical chemistry, and want to date someone slowly and deliberately. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s only for those seeking marriage. Many look for a committed relationship or even “living apart together,” or LAT, which means being in a serious relationship, but deliberately not co-habitating.

A recent study found that for seniors, LAT is good for your mental health, with less friction in the relationship caused by legal or caregiving demands. In fact, those over 60 were found to be 10 times more likely to enter an LAT arrangement, rather than marriage. Changing social norms have opened the door for intentional dating, and with it, a new way of thinking about family has emerged, with seniors leading the way.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think of the concept of “living apart together?” Would you consider or have you been in an LAT relationship? Have you experienced “swipe fatigue,” or exhaustion from online dating? If so, what was it like? What’s the biggest frustration you’ve felt when online dating?