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10 Online Dating Tips That You Rarely Read About

By Andrea McGinty April 12, 2023 Dating

Let me just say that I’m never, ever bored with my job. Why? As a dating coach, I just never know what’s going to happen next with my clients. Some follow my advice, others are very creative – in a good way.

That being said, here are 10 tips I’d like to share that you may not have read before.

Bathroom Photos

Ok, so most people know to use activity photos and flattering headshots. But I’ve met people who would actually upload a bathroom photo! There is not a single good reason in the world for uploading a bathroom shot/ selfie to your dating profile. None.

Own Your Age

Ladies, you’re up to bat. So, what if you are 49, 58, 68 or 77 years old? Don’t start a relationship with a lie. And if you think men can’t tell a woman who posted her age as 67 is actually 78, you’re dreaming.

Put Dates on Your Photos

Let me tell you about Amelia – a pretty, gracious 67-year-old woman from Palm Beach. She averages 1-2 high quality dates per week. Guess what almost every man has told her? “You look exactly like your photos.” And they sigh in relief.

She also dates every single photo with month/year – all are from 2022-2023. Oh, and BTW I cracked up when she told me this: “Andrea, I’ve been telling the men to be patient as I have a queue and need to catch up. And they wait!”

Also written in her online dating profile is, “If you are fudging on your photos or age, please pass me by!”

People Can’t Change… Or Can They?

I’ve always held fast to “you can’t change someone you are dating or married to” (my only exception is perhaps upgrading their wardrobe!). And you shouldn’t expect them to change for you, right?

A 63-year-old NY male client of mine (recently engaged… yay!) and I caught up this week, and we got started on this topic. He pointed out that change and adaptability are two different things – and adaptability in a relationship is necessary. I liked the way he made this distinction.

Ask About Their Children/Family

You should be able to openly inquire about your date’s children/family. Not in an interrogative way, of course. But you will learn a heck of a lot about a person from the way they talk about their children, or a family member. But don’t ask about the ex on a first date!

Car Photos and Men

My female clients and I are constantly perplexed by intelligent men and their car photos. Then, over the past week, two men “mansplained” it to me.

A new client sent me his photos (to be fair, he sent me 8 but one was the inevitable car shot) – and yes, he looked good and the car was cool and a gorgeous color too. I said, “Why the car shot?” He replied, “You asked for photos of me and my interests so I sent golf, a family shot, skiing, and I collect and love cars.” Suddenly it made total sense to me.

Another male client sent me 16 photos; 12 were very good and 4 featured him with different cars. Once again, to understand the man/car relationship, I asked the same question. He simply said that he loves car, they are one of his interests, he played with Hot Wheels as a kid and collected them – and thought nothing of posing by a car.

His dad collected cars; now he collects AND fixes cars. Yep, a CEO guy. He said it’s the same as him putting on the green or cooking in the kitchen. It’s not a boasting thing for him – just part of who he is.

An AH-HA moment for me. Yes, some men pose with cars as a status symbol. But more pose because it’s a genuine interest! Bottomline, don’t let a car shot stop you from reaching out to that great sounding man on POF, Hinge, Match, Bumble, wherever!

50/50 Conversations on First Dates

In general, they don’t exist! In over 25+ years of being a dating coach, I’ve realized that men tend to talk about 70% of the time on a first date. Don’t worry! It generally switches on the second date to a more evenly distributed conversation. For men, sometimes it’s nerves – sometimes it’s a genetic thing I can’t explain!!!

Beware of the Pen Pal Syndrome

Once you start messaging with someone and it’s going well – terrific! If the messaging bit goes for more than 5 exchanges with no date scheduled, you are stuck. Break it! Make the move. Simply write: “Love our conversations. How’s Tuesday or Wednesday for a drink around 6 at Chez Gabi?” You’ll know fast if they accept. Otherwise, who needs a message buddy?

FaceTime Is Not a Date

Don’t spend too much time on FaceTime with a potential date. Same goes for the phone. Both are a prelude to a real date. So, get off the phone. And make an real life date.


Ok, who doesn’t love Italy? But if you have the travel bug and that’s the only thing you write about in your profile, stop. (Ok, this goes for any place, but Italy seems to be the number one place people talk about.) You’re not on Trip Advisor. Mention a few unique experiences that you’ve had traveling then share other interests. That’s why a good online dating profile writer is key.

And no more photos of a well-known travel destination without you in the picture – potential dates want to see you, not the Parthenon!

Happy Dating, all!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What unique dating tip has helped you on your dating journey? Have you considered putting dates on your photos? Do you disclose your real age on dating apps? Why or why not?

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Amy Cohen

I seem to be the only person who loves seeing photos of people when they were younger. If I fall in love it is not just the present but what guys have done and what they looked like in years past.


Women seem to ask me everything and expect me to answer..but they don’t seem to answer questions very often or truthfully.

Deb S

Anyone else find most photos of men on dating sites off-putting? Some are just horrible thoughtless photos that seem to present a guy at his worst. Bare chested with a smirk. Leaning back on a pillow, half dead. Sneering like a serial killer. What is up with that? Then there are the “what I want” statements that boil down to sex toy, mommy, nurse, or house slave. Not dating these guys, but I do find the listing amusing.


Tell me about it, some look like they don’t believe in hygiene, looking ragged and scraggly, and some actually scared me 😌


I look at some of the pics and think WTH! Eyes closed, no shirt, wild hair.

Kelly Commet

Like you, I understand men who love cars. However, when they have a pic with them in the driver’s seat with the camera shooting up and it catches their nostrils in the ceiling…I dislike those immensely.


Problem for me is there are almost literally no men on dating sights within 100 miles from me. I live in a rural area a couple hundred miles, and mountains or rugged coastline, from any major cities. The local men with profiles I don’t think are paid subscribers because when I reach out they don’t even view my profile. Men further away have many local:choices so are not interested. And what’s with the men posing with dead fish and dead deer. Like I said I live in a very rural area along the north west coast of USA


west coast of USA here. Here in the great pacific NW it is rather wild. Love the beauty the nature and the place I live. Some of the views and thought processes are very different from mine. So makes it hard to have common ground within dating sites. Just throwing it out there

The Author

Andrea McGinty is the founder of It’s Just Lunch dating service. She sold it and founded 33000Dates.com so she could help singles navigating online dating. In the 2020s, she knows the best way to meet people is through online dating using a professional coach and specializes in singles in their 50s-70s!

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