I know you may not believe me when I say dating can be fun after 60 and that you can find love with a good man at this time in your life. Yes, I understand how frustrating dating probably has been for you.
Men on dating sites aren’t who they seem to be, scammers show up everywhere or men disappear when you least expect it. But as a woman over 60, you have far more choices for how a man might fit into your life than you had when you were younger.
In your 20s and 30s, as you looked for a mate, your body ruled the dating process. You needed instant attraction because your DNA coding was forcing you to look for a man who could provide healthy children.
This mindset and coding came from the caveman days where you had to do everything you could to make sure children could survive a rough life, including coupling with a strong healthy man.
We’re one of the first generations to be experiencing dating at this age in such mass numbers. The way you dated when you were younger, looking for the macho guy with whom you felt immediate attraction, doesn’t quite work the same way when you’re in your 50s, 60s and beyond.
Today you want a man with whom you can share your life. A man who will support you through the ups and downs of life. A man who will join you to dinner or on a vacation. A man you can have fun with.
Today, as a single woman in her 60s, you get to choose how a man fits into your life, whether he’s a friend, a lover, a boyfriend or even a husband.
Yet if you’re like most women, you feel like the clock is ticking. You aren’t getting any younger and you worry whether a man will like you at this age. They do!
But this worry creates tremendous pressure leading you to think you must figure out whether he’s the one before you’ve finished a cup of coffee.
You must hurry and not waste time, so you quiz a man as if he was on a job interview versus relaxing and getting to know someone knew and interesting. This type of dating isn’t fun and causes you to make snap decisions. You can miss a good man dating this way.
I’d like to suggest another way to experience dating that is far more fun and gives you more opportunities to enjoy your experiences with men. Here’s how it works.
Imagine three containers in front of you. Container #3 is the Relationship Container where the man and the relationship you want reside. Unfortunately, this is the place where most women start out on a meet and greet.
Jumping right into the relationship container creates frustration because it’s hard to figure out whether someone is perfect for you in 15 minutes.
A better place to start is with Container #1, the Exploration Container. This is where you go on dates with the intention of deciding how a man might fit into your life and into your future.
Your energy is relaxed and low key as you get to know someone new and interesting. Just be sure to keep a notebook about each man you date, so you don’t get them all mixed up. This is an empowering way to enjoy your dating journey after 60.
Container #2 is the Exclusive Container. You’ve found someone you really like and the two of you decide to make your relationship exclusive. You hang out, have fun and enjoy each other’s company as you get to know one other.
If the relationship isn’t working in Container #2, you go back to Container #1. You start the process again of going on dates getting to know someone new and interesting. If it does work, you head to Container #3 where you’ll figure out the type of committed relationship you both want.
Can you see how dating in Container #3, the Relationship Container, on a 1st date is a setup for never finding the right man for you?
So many of my clients have told me this way of dating has changed their lives and made dating far more fun and easier for them. I know it can do the same for you, too. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.
Do you agree that there are different ways of looking at relationships in your 60s? What kind of relationship would you like to have with a man? Are you looking for fun or a deeper romantic relationship in your 60s? Please join the conversation and share your thoughts and hopes!
Tags Senior Dating Advice