We all find it so easy to blame others when a relationship fails. If we could read our daughter-in-law’s mind, we would likely find she is blaming us for the uneasy atmosphere.
When we were growing up, my family never discussed money. It wasn’t that my parents or grandparents though that money was evil. It’s just that, like many working class families, we didn’t have much to discuss… or so we thought!
I truly believed I could handle my adult child’s estrangement on my own. After all, I had dealt with countless personal and family issues: my spouse’s cancer, infertility, kids with learning issues, my own struggle with depression, and more. While I coped, these all took their toll.
While your role as a grandmother should revolve around giving treats and having fun with the little ones, you can drop in a few important money lessons throughout the years.
We just spent a week with our grown children and their families. It doesn’t happen often (10 years ago was the last time) that everyone can congregate at the same place at the same time. It was a special week. For six months we all looked forward to sun and sand and waves and lounging.
I’m sure it’s not the same with everyone, but before my son was born, I was very worried whether I would be able to raise a boy. My world was profoundly feminine because all my closest cousins and siblings are girls. So, my knowledge and understanding of little boys was very limited, to say the least.
Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
This year, it felt like winter would never end. Here in the great North West, we were all feeling a little down for the lack of warmth and sunshine. Now that summer is here, I know that it will go by too quickly – it always does.
I am known for exposing the “elephant in the living room.” Those things everybody knows but nobody is talking about. Not every mother-daughter relationship reads like a Hallmark card, and our culture makes that a shameful secret to bear.
This is the article that wanted to be written in 2010 when my adult daughter was in the throes of blaming me for all that was wrong in her world. It wasn’t my first time in the barrel and with three adult children, I didn’t figure it would be my last.
People often have set ideas about what a grandmother should be like. However, grandmothers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes – as well as in attitudes to that role. This became very clear to me when I wrote a book based on interviews conducted with 27 very different grandmothers.