The 7 Personality Traits of Successful Grandparents
As grandparents, many women over 60 are embracing a new role in life. Seeing our children grow up to have children of their own is one of life’s great joys and privileges, and it reminds us of how life is a circle, with so many stages and cycles. The young become the old, and “The Child is father of the Man,” as William Wordsworth wrote.
For women our age, it might have been awhile since our own grandparents have been part of our lives. Today’s women over 60 are looking for new ways to fulfill the role of grandparents by providing the right blend of support and independence and helping our grandkids grow up with a positive, influential family presence around them.
What does it take to be a successful grandparent in today’s world? Here are a few ideas. We would also love to hear your ideas. Please add your thoughts in the comments section at the end of the article.
Patience
The best grandparents tend to be full of patience – for their grandchildren as well as for their grandchildren’s mom and dad. Even if your grandchildren are boisterous or sometimes misbehave, the best grandparents know that it’s all part of growing up.
Generosity
The most successful grandparents tend to be generous – not necessarily in terms of buying toys, gifts and offering financial generosity, but generous with their time, generous with their hospitality and generous with advice (when asked).
Unconditional Love
The best grandparents are a rock-solid foundation of love in a child’s life. Children need to know that no matter what might be going on in their lives, no matter what disappointments they might encounter at school or on the street out in the world, they are always safe and loved at grandma’s house.
Empathy
Successful grandparents learn once again how to see the world through a child’s eyes. This is a surprising and wonderful privilege of being a grandparent – we get to interact with our grandchildren and live life, for a little while, with their sense of time and their capacity for wonder.
Willingness to Listen
The best grandparents know how to listen. Just being there to listen to your grandchildren’s stories and encourage their enthusiasms is a wonderful gift to give.
Detachment
“Detachment” doesn’t mean that you don’t care about your grandchildren – it means you know how to maintain a healthy distance without meddling or constantly injecting your own views. Even if your own (grown) son or daughter isn’t doing everything “the right way” or “the normal way” in raising your grandkids, even if they follow different traditions or aren’t raising your grandkids in the same church or faith as you, the best grandparents know how to let things be and allow your grown children to chart their own course as parents.
Presence
Being a grandparent isn’t always about buying gifts or hosting dinners or taking your grandchildren on special vacations or anything like that. Aside from all of the fun things to do together with your grandchildren (which are wonderful), some of the best gifts you can offer your grandchildren are just the gifts of your time and your presence. Children learn a great deal just from being in the same room with you, watching how you prepare a meal, listening to you sing your favorite song.
Seeing multiple generations of their family is an important way for children to learn who they are and how to live. This transmission of identity and family connection can be one of the greatest and simplest gifts of all.
What have you learned about yourself from becoming a grandparent? What do you think of this advice? Please join the conversation.
February 19, 2014
I’m going to be a 1st time grandma in August
February 18, 2014
I have four children and six grandchildren i feal blessed and thankfull, they fullfill my life!
February 18, 2014
I enjoyed my four kids, but am enjoying my three granddaughters even more because I’m not working, cooking, cleaning house. When they’re with me — which happens regularly — they have my undivided attention.
February 18, 2014
I have 7 and enjoy them all when I do get an opportunity to visit. They all live a plane ride away…. thank goodness for Skype and FB videos!
February 18, 2014
What aboute if I am not going to have grandchild? It’s my only son Bussnes
December 5, 2013
To experiment and analyse
December 5, 2013
I remember going to my grans every Saturday she taught me gow to bake cakes n make pastry thanks grab fir all you taught me
December 5, 2013
If there was more RESPECT for each other the world would be a much happier place
December 5, 2013
To,share,and care,and not to lie.
December 4, 2013
Roberta I wish you were my Grandmother!
December 4, 2013
To have joy
December 4, 2013
To care for others.
December 4, 2013
Tell them about their roots, talk about how you felt when you were a child.they love to hear the storys from YOU
December 4, 2013
LOVE LOVE LOVE! !!!!♡♡♡♥♥
December 4, 2013
To always treat others as you would wish to be treated!
December 4, 2013
Manners, and respect very important.
December 4, 2013
They can be anything they want to be. Give them love time and confidence
December 4, 2013
Roberta that is real POWER
December 4, 2013
compassion: Using our opportunities in conversation to teach our gr’children how to put themselves in another’s shoes. Compassion brings with it many virtues – patience, kindness, generosity, and more. Compassion slows us down, stops us from “shooting from the hip,” gives us time to reflect, minimizes our egos, creates an atmosphere of respect. Compassion is everything.
December 4, 2013
I agree with Madeleine Abraham, you must have discipline to gain respect.
December 4, 2013
to be kind and to share.
December 4, 2013
Making time to listen and not judge as a grandparent is important to me.
December 4, 2013
Unconditional love.
December 4, 2013
Most important lesson—RESPECT for other! If everyone showed respect for his fellow human beings, young or old, this world would be a much better place.
November 30, 2013
I have learned that I can have fun like a child when I am with grandchildren and great-grandchildren……I let go of all the adult stuff and just play with them. They are the situation that allows me to have patience and fun.
November 30, 2013
grandchildren are a blessing in all shapes n forms , we learn from them and they us …they learned long ago when i have i share..when i don’t its okay to say no……and yes patience yu learn more when yu advance in age…..i’m so glad i’m able to enjoy them while i can.
November 29, 2013
Grandchildren come out with the funniest things and don’t they say it as it is, so refreshing these days
November 29, 2013
I can’t wait!! :)
November 29, 2013
Don’t only teach your grandchildren, learn from them..it will make your life richer..
November 29, 2013
That I have more love in my heart than I ever thought possible….with 8 beautiful grandchildren, the sky is the limit.
November 29, 2013
thats a hard reality Veronica Roni Goff.
November 29, 2013
I have to agree with you Andie!!! I have learned to be morepatient and try to be more understanding…it is hard to get out of the “protection” mode though!
November 29, 2013
my youngest grandaughter is a tonic only 2 years old things she comes out with makes my day .
November 28, 2013
I love spending time with my granddaughters and seeing the world through their eyes. Everything is new and exciting and fun! I’m enjoy every minute I spend with them.
November 28, 2013
That I’m a good teacher. I taught my grandchild to do my real writing. I taught her how to paint and dance tap and ballet. But I’m not allowed to see her anymore as her mum said I’m too old.
November 28, 2013
Unconditional Love…
November 28, 2013
Introducing my elder granddaughter to embroidery with a sewing basket laden with goodies for her 10th birthday. We sat together and sewed together for the week I went to stay with them.
November 28, 2013
Spend enough time with them so when they are older they will look back and still remember..I hope I did..they are precious. I no longer give out a lot of presents to them as they have their parents for that..
November 28, 2013
just taking time to see the world thru thier eyes…
November 28, 2013
Inner calm..can enjoy without having to think about all the things that needed doing like work shopping washing etc
November 28, 2013
I have learned just how much I love being with young people. My grandchildren are adults, the youngest is 19. They enjoying spending time with and just hanging out together.
November 28, 2013
I learned that grandchildren are really the reward for allowing your children to live! I’ve learned that I have way more patience now!
November 28, 2013
Its okay having input when young as they learn from you ….in my experience they want more and more out of you….that I am happy with…. until you cannot match the money required for the more & more expensive items…I am not a money pit…then you really realise how much you are appreciated
November 28, 2013
And I had to learn it’s not my job to discipline!