When we reach our 60s, several things happen:
Often, our finances aren’t what we’d hoped. We may have lost a spouse to death or divorce, or maybe we’re languishing in an unsatisfying partnership. The genie has vacated our Aladdin’s lamp, and we don’t know how to sort through the tangled mess, or the emptiness, of our lives.
We sense deep down that happiness is possible, but how to access it is a mystery.
I found myself in this situation when I turned 60, and it was intolerable. The kind of life I’d imagined was passing me by. I was caught in a cycle of diminishing returns, unable to break free. My story isn’t unique, but the process I used to pull myself out of hopelessness perhaps is.
In my late 50s I stumbled upon a way of journaling that I labeled, Writing for Self-Discovery. It began as stream-of-consciousness scribbles that morphed into ‘why’ questions whenever I ran into something that triggered me.
In a process I called ‘following the trail back’, I continued the questioning and often ended up at a place of revelation about the forces within (much of it old stuff and no longer appropriate) that motivated me.
It’s tough to change if you’re unaware of the subconscious beliefs that motivate you.
One of my most startling discoveries was the realization that I had no idea what I wanted for my life. What I didn’t want was painfully clear. But negatives don’t work when you desire to create something positive. Positives beget positives. Negatives beget negatives. Period.
Perhaps, like me, you’ve spent your adult life fulfilling others’ desires and find it difficult to imagine something different for yourself. By the time my children moved out and my marriage had dissolved, I was face-to-face with an inner vacuum. I hadn’t a clue who I was without the props of husband and kids.
Discovering what I wanted was a convoluted process that involved writing, Yoga, meditation, qigong and a real-life genie in the form of Thea Lee, a Somatic Experiencing therapist.
Slowly, I was able to dream again, and a different future began to take shape in my mind. Here are three essential elements of getting what you want in life.
Visualization has almost become cliché, and that’s too bad because it’s essential. When we truly desire something, we need to keep the elements of it in front of us. Why? Because of another sneaky little truth: we may not believe we can have what we want.
By filling our visual field with images of the dream, it becomes a part of us. It also sets the universe in motion, like a genie granting our wish.
You don’t have to be obsessive about it, sitting in silent meditation for hours, sweating and praying. Just make it your intention and go about your business believing that the object of your desire exists for you.
This is the most important of all. Really. At its root, it’s back to the law that positive begets positive and negative begets negative. But this goes deeper. This requires turning negatives to positives.
Negatively charged metal atoms at their highest energy level lose electrons and become positively charged. If we’re performing at our highest level, we, too, will lose negativity and become positive beings.
The past, all of it, has brought us to the moment of possibility where we can choose something different. Without hardship, we may have been content to go on living an uninspired life. We may have been able to say, “Oh, this isn’t so bad,” and allow it to continue until too late.
When we’ve cleared negative clutter from our consciousness, we create space for new and wonderful happenings in our life.
Once my goal was firmly in place, the trajectory toward manifestation moved steadily ahead. Sometimes I couldn’t see past the next right thing, but once that step was accomplished, another one materialized, and I learned to trust the unfolding.
At 62 my dream manifested. I moved to Bali, and the joy I’ve experienced living here is beyond anything I could have imagined.
Is it really that simple? Well, not exactly. What I’ve outlined isn’t easy. Most things worth doing require effort. Capture the wants. Create your visuals. Cultivate gratitude.
Maybe you didn’t notice that I slipped in a fourth ingredient a bit under-the-table. Trust. My mantra for two years was: Trust the unfolding.
If you put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward, one beautiful day there comes a point where you catch the slipstream, momentum accelerates, and you enter a flow that carries you effortlessly into your dream.
Are you getting what you want from life in your 60s? Do you trust that your life is unfolding exactly the way it should? What are you doing to achieve your dreams? Please share in the comments below!
Tags Finding Happiness