50 Plus Dating: Should Older Women Make the First Move? (Video)
According to Lisa Copeland, dating after 50 is different than dating at any other point in our lives. When we are younger, we can afford to sit back and let men come to us. But, as we get a little older, Lisa encourages us to take control and not be afraid to strike up a conversation with men.
If this sounds counterintuitive, I encourage you to watch our latest video interview. It may just help you to find the love and intimacy that you deserve in your 50s or 60s.
Whose Move is it Anyway?
Lisa reminds us that women usually make the first move, whether we realize it or not. Why? Because most men are actually risk-averse. The last thing a man wants is to approach a woman and be rejected. So, it’s not so much a question or whether to make the first move. It’s more a question of how to make the first move. Should we be subtle or bold?
In the “real world,” you don’t have to ask a stranger out for a date. At the same time, there is absolutely nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a man. You can still leave it to him to invite you out on a date, but, sending him an initial signal is still your responsibility.
Have We Forgotten How to Flirt?
During our conversation, Lisa questions why dating over 60 has become so “serious.” It’s almost as if we have forgotten how to have fun and flirt. Having talked with hundreds of women in the Sixty and Me community, I can see how there could be some truth to this. After one too many heart-breaks, senior dating has a tendency to become serious business rather than a “game.”
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking about the end goal – finding a man who shares our interests and loves us for who we are. Instead, perhaps we should see dating as just another part of life – one that we should enjoy for all of its funny ups and downs.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please take a few minutes to join the conversation below.
Do you agree or disagree that older women should learn to subtly make the first move when it comes to meeting men? Why? Have you met someone special to you through a chance encounter? Have you tried 50 plus dating? What was your experience? Please join the discussion.
Realizing that this article was published 11 years ago, the answer I’m about to provide to the question, “should older women make the first move?” is still relevant.
The answer is yes, of course they should. Same with younger women. My wife got me by being straight-up about her romantic attraction to me. I had no idea she had such an interest, and yes, she’s a bit older than I am. See, when you ask the man out directly, you’re following the Golden Rule: “do unto others as you want them to do unto you.” I know, you don’t want to risk rejection. But that’s why it works. Men know all about that, and that’s why they respect it when you do it. I sure did. That’s a big reason why I put a ring on it.
Telling women they should “let the man do all that work”, “let the man pursue”, all that, is a cop-out, ladies. Odds are, in my wife’s and my experience and observations, that you are the ones who will lose out. And today, there’s the whole “#MeToo” and false-accusations problem; just ask Brian Banks. That problem is real, and if you want success in seeking long-term romance, you cannot just pooh-pooh this problem…*IF* you actually want success. Again, you’ve got to risk rejection to get the prize, ladies. You expect him to, so you should as well.
So, yeah, strike up a conversation. Make your romantic interest in him very clear. Ask him out (and yes, pick up the check; we’ve seen too many gold-diggers by now). At that point, then if you like him, again, make that very clear and tell him that you’d like it if he’d ask you out. If you’ve been a cool chick, then he very likely will. I did.
We’ve been happily married for the last 7 years because she did that.