Have You Thought About All Those “What If…” Moments?

By the time we get to our 60s, there have probably been many ‘What If’ moments. Some may have had little or no impact on our lives, others may have changed the whole course of it.

What If… You Misunderstood?

Although we go through life in one body, we mature, learn, gain wisdom and grow emotionally. So why is it that many of us hold on to negative things that happened when we were young? The teacher who said we would get nowhere. The parent who told us we were lazy. The sibling that made us feel stupid. 

Often what was said or done was not meant as we interpreted it, we may simply have misunderstood. Or maybe it was just a throw away comment that stayed with us. Perhaps it was said to make us work harder, be more responsible, or just in sibling rivalry. And yet here we are decades later still hanging on to it for dear life and, worse still, believing it!

What good is it doing? The person who said or did something, has probably long forgotten… but we didn’t. 

Let it go. 

A good way to get rid of it is to do something tangible. Perhaps write it on a balloon and pop it, jot it down on a piece of paper and rip it up or burn it, write it in the sand and watch the waves erase it. It can be very empowering! What if… you didn’t have to carry it any more?

What If… You Could Change the Past?

We all have a lengthy past by the time we reach our 60s. Hopefully many of the things that have happened will have been good, but the very nature of life is that it will include some which are not. Obviously, we cannot change when people die, but we could have changed who we married, or divorced. We could have changed the number of children, or none at all. We could have picked another career, or studied harder. We may have even chosen to live in another country.

But… all the things that we have chosen have helped make us who we are today. Perhaps your divorce has made you more confident, understand relationships, and be empathetic. Or staying in your home country meant you could care and support your elderly parents. Perhaps, if you had taken that other career route, things might not be as good as they are now. We can’t rewind.

We cannot change the actual events of the past themselves, but we can change our perception of them. Life is never perfect, and we don’t ever get to see what might have been. What we have is now and all the adventures and memories that are made up of our experiences so far. Though, of course, we would like our life to always be happy and carefree I, for one, am grateful for everything my past has taught me. I am who I am today because of it. What if… you lived in the present?

What If… You Let the Hurt Go?

Pain and hurt can stay with us a lifetime. It can affect who we are, what we do, how we live. The pain can be anything including loss, grief, sadness, regret, guilt, shame. Every day it can wear away at our happiness, grind us down. It is exhausting. Letting go of hurt leaves lots of space in your mind, and heart, for things that are more beneficial.

When we hang on to hurt, the only person we are hurting is ourselves. If the pain was caused by someone else, they could be having the best day of their lives, while we are at home suffering. Maybe it is time to let it go. Forgive others for past hurt, but most importantly, forgive ourselves. We are not perfect; all we can do is try our best and learn from any mistakes we have made. What if … your heart was lighter?

What If… You could Write Your Future?

Imagine a future where you are happy, positive and looking forward to each new day. Imagine waking up with a smile, grateful, excited, and glad to be alive. I know that life is not easy. I know as we age things can be tough… losing loved ones, health concerns, financial worries, loss of independence. But these are issues faced by most of us, and some of the happiest people I have met are those who accept the challenges with a smile, and take each day as it comes.

We are here. We are alive when many people did not make it this far. For this I am extremely thankful. And though there are things that happen to me that I would prefer not, I would rather face the challenges than not be here.

So I try to find time in my day for things that make me happy. It can be as simple as a morning cup of tea in the garden listening to the birds, or a walk along the beach. I try not to dwell on past negative events, and don’t look too far ahead. I have let go of most of my hurt and forgiven those who have caused pain, including myself. My future looks promising.

What if… you wrote your own future?

Let’s Start a Conversation:

Did you hold on to something that happened as a child? What was the best thing you learned from a past event? How would you like your future to unfold?