Young at Heart but Not Everywhere Else? Perspectives from a Grammy-winning Singer

Last night, I attended a showcase by one of my current female voice students. I’ll call her HN. She’s 29 and quite talented. I brought along one of my former male voice students, who studied with me fifteen years ago as a preteen, who now enjoys a successful career producing music. Also joining us was a new female student, age 63, just beginning her musical journey – a wise choice to ensure a healthier brain, body, and spirit.

The beauty of music is that when one pursues it at any level, whether for a career or a healthy hobby, it opens us to the experience of community and the benefits of expanding our brain’s capacity. Every time we participate in music, the brain forms new neural pathways, encouraging creativity and vitality.

The Joy of Connection

I was the eldest in the room, sporting my long silver-grey hair. (I blame Covid for that.) I felt proud to be entertained by my student and blessed to be in the company of people younger than me. My influence on their lives as their music teacher gives me a deep sense of fulfillment and belonging.

At the same time, I feel myself moving into a different phase of my life, and I am trying to accept it with grace and purpose. I can’t help but reminisce about all the time I spent on stage and in the studio. I wish I could return to some of those times, but I know it wouldn’t be the same as it used to be. I even thought of adding up how many notes I’ve sung in my life, but that’s a fool’s errand. I’ve put a lot of miles on these vocal cords, and I am still racking them up. Singing has kept me young at heart. My lungs are happy too.

Not Her Mother

While talking to HN after the show, her young male videographer said to us, with kind intentions, “Oh, you must be her mother.” That’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone say that to me. Flabbergasted, I quickly recovered and said, “No, I’m not her mother, but thanks.” He apologized for making what he thought was a faux pas. He didn’t realize it was a big compliment. Truth be told, I’m old enough to be her grandmother.

The Fairy Godmother

At this vintage age, I’m now adding prowess to my purse of purposes. HN has given me a distinctive new title, Fairy Godmother. Sounds good to me. Although I don’t have a magic wand, I do employ the transformative powers of music to enable my students to find their happy endings. It gives me comfort to feel that I’m helping make the world a better place.

Even though it’s fifty years since I began my singing career, I refuse to think of myself as over the hill. I just do it differently now. My six-octave range has shrunk to four, but that’s more than enough. I made peace with that. The diminishment that caught me off guard was being told that my 5’10” frame has lost an inch. No wonder the bathroom sink kept getting closer. No matter what the challenge, I’ll keep reinventing myself till the day I die. It keeps me young. Sure, it would be easy to kick back in the TV lounge chair, but I have a new memoir and album coming out soon, and I’ll be traveling with a new show. It’s exciting.

My Stage Face

Yes, it takes me longer to get ready for these things, even though the process is the same. When asked to do a Zoom interview, I now inquire, “Is this on-camera or just audio?” For an on-camera appearance, I need to add two hours for hair and makeup. My hair is not as cooperative as it used to be. It takes me longer to make my eyelashes look like I even have any.

Don’t even get me started with futzing with those magnetic ones. But I’ll keep trying. I have more decisions to make: Do I do a light brown eyebrow today or silver grey? My skin wants several layers of cream and sucks it up faster than a Dyson. I have to be very careful with the brightening powder because if I put on too much, I look like a quasar. Then there’s my unforeseen career as face farmer to the ever-broadening field of white hair (and a few dark stragglers) now growing under my chin.

Hand me the Japanese Weeding Sickle, or better yet, the Flame Weeder. I’m ready to do whatever it takes. Whew, now back to doing music – so much more fun.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your story of not giving up, regardless of life transitions? What have you had to come to terms with as you’ve aged?