5 Ways to Practice Joy After 60 (Even When It Feels Far Away)

I was sitting in a circle of people I barely knew when it happened. A laugh. Not a polite one. A deep, from-the-belly laugh that felt like it came from somewhere I had forgotten. I didn’t realize how long it had been until it came back.

I wasn’t looking for it. Joy just showed up.

Here are five ways I’ve learned to practice it.

1. Let Your Body Lead

Joy doesn’t always begin in the mind. Sometimes it arrives in the body before you even know it’s coming. That laugh caught me completely off guard. I wasn’t trying to feel joyful. And yet there it was.

The body remembers joy even when the mind has forgotten it. If you have been in a long season of grief, stress, or simply going through the motions, don’t wait until you think your way back to feeling alive. Move. Stretch. Dance in your kitchen. Sit in the sun. Let your body lead you somewhere your thoughts can’t reach yet. You may be surprised what is still there, waiting.

2. Do the Thing That Makes You a Little Uncomfortable

At a retreat a few years ago, I made myself a quiet promise. I would dance in front of people before the week was over. I waited six days. I carried that promise with me through every meal, every conversation, every session. On the last night, at the last party, I finally did it.

I want to be honest with you. I had danced on stage as a child, performed in front of audiences for years, and somewhere along the way that ease had quietly disappeared. I had grown more and more self-conscious about moving my body in front of others. That night I did it anyway.

Something shifted in that moment. Not joy exactly, not yet. A door opening. A signal to myself that I was still capable of moving toward life. That dance set me on a course I didn’t fully understand until much later.

There is something on the other side of the thing that makes you a little uncomfortable that belongs only to you. It might be dancing. It might be signing up for the painting class, or saying yes to the trip, or walking into the room alone. Joy often lives just past the edge of what feels safe. You don’t have to leap. But you do have to take one step.

3. Create Something with Your Hands

Most of us were not told we were creative when we were young. Many of us believed it. But making something with your hands, whether you paint, cook, garden, knit, or arrange flowers on your kitchen table, is one of the most direct paths to joy there is.

It doesn’t have to be good. It doesn’t have to be finished. It just has to be yours. There is a quiet satisfaction in making something that didn’t exist before you made it. A proof of life. A reminder that you are still capable of bringing something new into the world.

4. Tend to Something Small Every Day

Joy doesn’t only live in the big moments. It lives in the small ones too, if you let it. A cup of tea made slowly. A walk without your phone. Your garden in the early morning. The light coming through a window at the end of the day. These are not grand gestures. They are tiny, deliberate turnings toward what is good.

If you have been in survival mode for a while, practicing noticing is how you find your way back. It sounds almost too simple to be useful. It is not. Tending something small every day, a plant, a ritual, a moment of stillness, is how joy becomes a habit rather than a lucky accident.

5. Be with People Who Make You Feel Alive

Not all connection is equal. Some relationships fill you up. Others quietly drain you. In our 60s, I think we earn the right to know the difference and choose accordingly.

Think about who you feel most alive with. Who you laugh with. Who you can be honest with. Who shows up. That kind of genuine, reciprocal connection is not a luxury. It is necessary for joy.

If you don’t have that yet, begin small. One person. One honest conversation. One gathering where you let yourself be fully seen. And if you are looking for a place where connection is built in from day one, Modern Elder Academy, where I took the retreat I mentioned earlier, with campuses in Santa Fe, New Mexico and El Pescadero, Mexico, is a midlife wisdom school for adults ages 40 to 75 where getting to know people deeply is part of the experience. Check it out at meawisdom.com.

That belly laugh was not the end of a hard season. It was a beginning. A signal that joy was still there, still possible, still available if I was willing to practice it.

You don’t have to wait until everything is resolved to feel alive. You can start right now, today, with one small turning toward the light.

Time to Reflect:

How often do you experience joy? What causes it? Do you permit yourself to feel joy at any time?