The Joy of a Modern-Day Salon: No, Not That Kind of Salon

I always wished I had lived in 1920s Paris as part of the famous “Lost Generation,” where writers, artists, philosophers, and curious minds gathered to share ideas, challenge one another, and explore what it meant to be alive in a changing world.

They Called Them Salons

These gatherings brought together luminaries like Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henri Matisse, Pablo Picasso, and Gertrude Stein – voices that helped shape an era through conversation, creativity, and courage.

But salons began long before that.

Emerging in Europe centuries ago, salons flourished in France and evolved over time – from grand drawing rooms in Parisian homes to creative gatherings held in cafés and cultural hubs – always centered on conversation, curiosity, and the exchange of ideas. Many were led by women known as salonnières, who curated these spaces with intention, intellect, and a deep appreciation for dialogue.

Women as Cultural Leaders

It’s said that in earlier centuries, these hostesses welcomed guests while reclining on velvet daybeds – effortlessly presiding over conversations that helped shape the culture of their times.

These gatherings were far more than elegant parties. They were living laboratories of culture. The history of the French salon is, at its core, also a history of female cultural leadership.

In societies that severely limited women’s formal public power, salons gave women a rare opportunity to influence intellectual and cultural life.

One of the most famous salons was hosted by Gertrude Stein, whose Paris home became a gathering place for some of the most influential thinkers and artists of her time. Her partner, Alice B. Toklas, was equally well known for the food she served – nourishing both body and mind.

I remember eating some Alice B. Toklas brownies during my hippie days … but I don’t think they were from the original recipe!

Many of the artists and attendees at these salons were expatriates – much like me – drawn to a place that allowed them to question, create, and redefine themselves in a rapidly changing world.

And in many ways, we find ourselves at a similar crossroads today, whether living in our own hometown or in a foreign land.

Plenty of Communication… No Connection

We have never had more ways to communicate, yet much of our communication has become surprisingly shallow. We send emojis instead of letters, click “like” rather than explain what moved us, and scroll past hundreds of people without having a meaningful conversation with any of them.

We are connected to everyone, yet often deeply engaged with no one.

For women over 60, that loss of meaningful conversation can be particularly significant.

As we age, the communities that once formed naturally around work, children, marriage, and neighborhood life often shift or disappear altogether. We may still have lunches to attend and activities on our calendars, but that is not always the same as having conversations that make us feel intellectually and emotionally awake.

What a Salon May Look Like Today

A modern salon doesn’t require a grand Parisian drawing room, famous guests, or museum-quality paintings.

It could begin with four or five women around a dining table. It could happen in a quiet café, a bookstore, a community room, or even online. The setting matters far less than the intention.

Instead of limiting ourselves to schedules, children, or ailments – please, I cannot go to another function where everyone my age only talks about their most recent doctor’s appointment – we can talk about what genuinely interests and challenges us.

We can discuss ideas, philosophies, societal biases, and how to face aging with dignity and joy. Most importantly, we can cheer on everyone who is still exploring her world after 60.

Thinking Aloud in Company

Perhaps that is what we are missing most – not company, but the experience of being invited to think aloud with other people. We need places where changing our minds isn’t considered weakness, disagreement doesn’t automatically become division, and listening is as valued as speaking.

We have lived long enough to know that certainty is often temporary. We have watched accepted truths change, and social rules loosen or tighten depending on circumstances. We’ve seen technology transform daily life, and our own opinions evolve from caring deeply about what others think to simply caring deeply. We have accumulated experiences that deserve more than a passing comment beneath a photograph on social media.

Gathering People Is an Art

For centuries, women have created the spaces where families, friendships, and communities come together. The salonnières simply extended that talent into the world of ideas.

Maybe it is time for us to reclaim that role.

We don’t have to wait for someone else to invite us into an interesting room. We can create the room ourselves. We can choose a question, gather a few curious people, pour the coffee or wine, and see where the conversation leads.

We may not have Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Matisse, or Picasso at the table. Considering their personalities, that may be just as well.

But we have our own stories, ideas, contradictions, and hard-won wisdom. We have questions we haven’t yet answered, concerns we may be afraid to share out loud, and possibilities we haven’t finished exploring. Creating a room where people can speak honestly without being judged is what the salon concept is really about.

All we need is a place to begin.

And, possibly, the perfect daybed.

Questions for You:

What would your ideal salon look and feel like today? Do you have a gathering place you could call a salon?