Meet the Woman You Are Now – After Divorce

I spent so much time and effort getting to the other side of divorce that I didn’t think about how the experience changed me. I am different. My life is different. I asked myself the question, “Who am I now?”

Finding myself ready to embark on a life where some of my roles and identity had changed, I became excited to know that there would be parts of me to discover that would take the place of some of the parts I had lost. I was starting on a journey of learning more about my authentic self.

Who Are You Now?

Reconnecting with self means having the courage to figure out the path we are meant to be on now. As you gain more courage to move out of your comfort zone, you begin to celebrate the feeling of pushing past boundaries and limiting beliefs because this is how you grow into the person you are meant to be now. Outside influences and distractions will have less of an impact on how you think and act. You’ll have the confidence to look to yourself for the answers you seek to guide you on your journey.

I’m about to share how I got reacquainted and reconnected with Who I Am Now. You will be able to do the same as I am sharing the rating scale, the chart to plot the results on, and action steps you can take to create more harmony and balance within. This is what I created and used to achieve more well-being within which started to shine through without.

As you read this about the Four Pillars of Well-Being and complete the Reconnecting with Self Rating Scale and Wheel Exercise, you will learn where you may need to do some work to bring your well-being into more harmony and balance. I’ll also include some action steps you can take.

Four Pillars of Well-Being

Here are the four pillars and their importance:

Physical Balance

Physical Balance includes preventative health care including exercise, good nutrition, adequate sleep, which also promotes the ability to manage stress. (It’s a no brainer.)

Emotional Balance

This pillar cultivates strength between mind and body and includes learning to accept feelings without judgment along with not getting wrapped up in negative self-talk.

(This is a big one. It’s the one I had the most trouble with!)

Intellectual Balance

Next, Intellectual Balance, has to do with engaging intellectual pursuits, hobbies, and interests and functioning at a harmonious emotional and behavioral level. (Many times we just push this area to the wayside.)

Spiritual Balance

Finally, Spiritual Balance is exploration of personal perspectives, principles, and standards using spirituality to search for personal meaning in life. (Tap into your authentic self).

You can download the Reconnecting with Self Rating Scale here and complete it.

You can download the Reconnecting with Self Wheel Exercise here.

Below are some action steps you can take if there is an area that you need to create more balance and bring it more in line with the others.

Have fun with this as you explore getting reacquainted with “Who Am I Now?”

Reconnecting with Self Well-Being Action Steps

Taking Care of Your Physical State

If the PHYSICAL area is where you would like to create more balance, circle any of the following action steps that could help you achieve it:

• Locate self-help groups or organizations that support learning how to eat a balanced diet.
• Find a nutritionist or dietician. It may be covered by health insurance.
• Join a fitness club or research online to find some at-home exercise routines that are free.
• Do some research on cultivating a proper sleep routine.
• Locate a support group or engage in some type of therapy to help overcome addiction/bad habits.
• Discuss preventative health car with doctor – holistic, dental, vision, etc.

Emotional Well-Being

If the EMOTIONAL area is where you would like to create more balance, circle any of the following action steps that could help you achieve it:

• Research to find some strategies, techniques or coping skills that you can adopt into your life to help combat feelings of stress.
• Learn to become more self-aware of your emotions, and what particular situations may set you off and record them in your journal.
• For each negative event, situation, or person that sets you off, look from a different perspective and find a silver lining or a lesson learned from having had the experience.
• Participate in an activity whether it is physical or mental that lifts you up. Engage in it regularly.
• Become aware of negative mind chatter – when a negative thought comes up, be the observer and don’t get involved in it. You can change the thought to a positive one right away which can help improve attitude and mood.

Finding Intellectual Balance

If the INTELLECTUAL area is where you would like to create more balance, circle any of the following action steps that could help you achieve it:

• Sign up for a class. Check online at your local library or other public organizations and see what they might offer in the way of enhancing your learning.
• Check out public events that are scheduled in the community. The Chamber of Commerce is a good resource.
• Join a group of like-minded people who enjoy topics and activities that interest you.
• Games for The Brain is a good site and any of the games for training the brain are great, including games featured on Sixty and Me.
• Read about local, national, and international current events.

Building Spiritual Well-Being

If the SPIRITUAL area is where you would like to create more balance, circle any of the following action steps that could help you achieve it:

• Find a group or organization so that you can connect with others who share your spiritual beliefs.
• Learning about other types of beliefs can help you become more open-minded, accepting, and considerate of others and their perspectives.
• Carve out a little spot where you can go to that is quiet and peaceful so that you can take time for self-reflection and meditation.
• Keeping your principles and opinions in the forefront of your mind helps you to incorporate them as you go about your daily life.
• Being happy can make you feel grateful. Celebrate all the good traits you possess that make you uniquely you. Read, play and spend time together with loved ones. Tell them why you are grateful they are in your life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What issues have you faced after divorce? How do you take care of your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual wellbeing?