When Did We Stop Doing Things Just for Fun?

When I think back to being a kid, so much of what we did was simply because it was fun.

We spent hours outside, running up and down the road to the big black door at the back of William Patten School. Nobody actually used that entrance, but for us it became a focal point.

Other days were spent dancing around the kitchen table, clicking our fingers to “The Jets” from West Side Story, riding our bikes, climbing roofs and generally mucking about.

Nothing had an end goal or an agenda. We danced, ran, rode our bikes and got creative because we enjoyed it. We weren’t clocking miles, counting steps, keeping fit or getting practice in. We were just having fun.

So, when did everything start needing a purpose?

Somewhere Along the Way, Adulthood Got Serious

Then we move into the adulting phase: work, bills, family, responsibilities and the dreaded to-do lists. Our time becomes super valuable and, before we know it, even the things we do for enjoyment seem to have a purpose.

We walk to get our steps in. We run because we are trying to keep fit or are training for something. Travel can become a tick-box affair and hobbies become side hustles.

What once started out as fun can become something we track, measure or try to improve at, and somewhere along the way we can lose some of the spark that brought us joy in the first place.

When Did We Start Needing to Be Good at Everything?

It seems that as adults, we can become reluctant to do things we are rubbish at. We think we need to be good at something to justify doing it, and because of that we might miss out on something that could bring us lots of joy.

I recently joined a choir but was hesitant for so long because I thought, “I can’t sing.”

I remember being a bit apprehensive before joining and walking in sheepishly. They asked me what I was, soprano, alto or baritone, to which I just looked at them in bewilderment and helplessly replied, “I don’t know.”

At one point, I thought I was going to be asked to sing, and inside I was hoping I wouldn’t be thrown in at the deep end. To my delight, I wasn’t.

I continued to think, “I can’t sing.” But the truth is, everyone can sing. Whether we are any good or not is another question.

Once I forgot about how I sounded and just got stuck in, I really enjoyed it and left the session feeling so much more alive.

I suppose we often think that we must be good at something to do it, but why does that matter?

You don’t need to be good at dancing to dance. You don’t need to be good at painting to paint. You don’t need to be the fastest runner, the best yogi or a brilliant cook just to take part in those activities.

Sometimes it’s the learning, getting involved anyway, feeling a bit silly and just going for it that brings the joy.

When Getting Better Changes the Experience

But there can also be another side to it.

Sometimes we find something we love, decide we want to get better at it and, without even realising it, change the very thing we enjoyed about it in the first place.

I remember the joy I felt when I first tried scuba diving. I couldn’t believe I was underwater and breathing, seeing the most amazing marine life in its own habitat. That experience in Mexico was exhilarating, fun and beautiful. I wanted to do it again and again.

So, I started training.

And while I will never regret getting my scuba qualification, learning how to dive properly changed the experience for a while.

I was learning the skills and becoming a better diver, but I was also becoming much more aware of the risks. Suddenly, I wasn’t just floating around underwater in complete amazement. There were things to remember, things to do and things to be aware of.

For a time, some of the enjoyment and naivety I had on that very first dive disappeared.

On that first experience, I didn’t have expectations. I wasn’t thinking about whether I was good at it. I wasn’t trying to achieve anything.

I was just left to be, and that was what captured my heart: me, the sea and no expectations, just joy.

Does Everything Have to Become a Goal?

Goals aren’t bad. I’m a big advocate of having goals and working towards something, but not everything has to become one.

Sometimes we can just walk without counting the steps. Dance without worrying about whether we have rhythm. Sing even if we’re not going to win any awards. Try something new knowing that we might be absolutely rubbish at it.

Not everything needs to be logged, measured, improved or turned into something bigger.

Sometimes enjoyment can be the outcome.

What Did You Used to Do Just for Fun?

So, what haven’t you done for years because it seems silly or because there is no real purpose to it?

What did you love doing as a kid before adulthood got in the way? What could you spend hours doing without a care in the world? What made you belly laugh or simply made you feel good and alive?

Perhaps write a list and then do more of it.

Because we don’t always need to find a goal or a reason to do something. We don’t need to track everything to make it count.

Maybe every now and again, we need to stop asking what we are going to get out of something and do it simply because we want to.

And if reading this has got you thinking about what you want more of in your life, but you’re not quite sure where to start, I offer free Discovery Calls. Sometimes having a conversation with someone outside of your situation can help you work out what you want and what might be holding you back from going after it.

Let’s Reflect Together:

What do you do purely for fun? Has something you once loved become another goal or obligation? And what did you love doing when you were younger that you’ve stopped doing now? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear what you’re going to bring back into your life, simply because you enjoy it.