10 Steps to Rewrite Outdated Stories About Love and Sexuality

To give and receive love is a natural, universal desire, and so too is sexual pleasure. Why, then, do most people feel awkward with self-love and uncomfortable embracing their sexuality after 60?

How can we look to ourselves for love and sexual pleasure that suits our unique desires, without giving our power away to other people?

And what does it take to love ourselves like no other after 60?

We will answer these questions in the final two articles and videos of our 10-part exclusive series for 60 and Me readers titled “Improve Your Lifestyle After 60 by Boosting Your Sexual Confidence.”

In these final two articles and videos of the series, you will receive a 10-step guide to rewriting outdated stories about love and sexuality after 60. You will be introduced to the first five steps in this article.

You Are the Source of What You Seek

The key that unlocks your sexual confidence after 60 is this indisputable truth:

You are the source of the love, worthiness, and pleasure you seek.

You do not need to wait for someone else to validate your beauty, ignite your sensuality, or affirm your worth to feel loved, beautiful, and sexy. The power to love yourself like no other already lives within you.

Consider this quote from Dr. Stephanie Ortigue, who is a renowned neuroscientist and author of “Wired for Love”:

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind… It’s all about how that internal neural network interacts. The cognitive functions are triggers that fully activate the love network within us.”

What this means is that the capacity to love and feel sexually aroused is generated within our own brains and minds, rather than being dictated by an external source.

Reclaim Your Power to Love from Within

Early on in our adolescence, we lost touch with who we truly are. Ever since, we have looked for that part of ourselves, seeking love, acceptance, and pleasure in everything and everyone but within ourselves.

When you seek to validate your sexiness and worthiness to be loved through other people, you are giving away your power to create your desired lifestyle on your terms.

How do you flip the script on this narrative? Through self-love.

Another well-known neuroscientist, Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa, who is the author of “The Neuroscience of Self-Love,” summed it up well with the following:

“Self-love is letting go of having to be perfect… because you know that won’t change who you are. Who you are is the calm presence that exists behind the chaos that may be going on around you.”

A key point to remember when you rewrite outdated stories and beliefs about love, romance, and pleasure is that you don’t have to sacrifice your well-being or depend on anyone else to give you what you can naturally give yourself.

Gently Release the Grip of the Past

I understand that when you are dealing with deep-seated limiting beliefs about love and sexuality, that formed in early childhood and reinforced throughout adulthood, it’s not always easy to accept that they can be changed for the better after 60.

To rewrite outdated stories about love and sexuality, gently release the grip of past conditioning about who you are and where love and sexual pleasure reside.

To help you take a mindful approach to self-love, here are the first five of a 10-step guide to rewriting outdated stories about love and sexuality after 60. We will cover the final five steps in the final article and video of this series.

Steps 1 Thru 5

Through each step, you can become the romance, the muse, and the sacred partner you once thought you could only find “out there” in someone else. Because when you love yourself like no other, your lifestyle changes for the better.

1. Reframe Self-Talk

Identify and challenge negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, and false, outdated stories about love and sexuality. Replace these with positive affirmations and new stories that support your desires.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with as much love and compassion as you would treat your lover or a close friend. Show yourself love, understanding, and kindness, especially when you make mistakes or face setbacks.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries

Ensure you are treated with love and respect in all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. When you treat yourself with the utmost love and respect, you set the tone for how you experience all your relationships, especially those with romantic partners.

4. Stay Socially Connected

Enroll in courses and/orjoin groups or communities that uplift and support women and men who are seeking to love themselves and embrace their sexuality in later stages of life. You are far from alone in this. Engaging with others, online and offline, can boost self-worth and connection.

5. Counseling or Therapy

A professional therapist or counselor can provide timely guidance on navigating feelings of unworthiness. They can also offer proven strategies to build your self-esteem, love more of yourself, and engage in healthy practices of sexually pleasing yourself.

Next Steps:

I invite you to join me in the video, where I share one inspired action item for each of these five steps. I will also guide you through 3 journal prompts to integrate what you’re learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How does your past control your present choices? What does self-love mean to you?