Why Do We Keep Doing the Same Things When We Know Something Needs to Change?

Sometimes there’s that niggling feeling. We can’t quite put our finger on it, but we know something doesn’t sit quite right. It’s not like you’re super unhappy or depressed, but something feels off and you can’t quite work out what.

It’s frustrating because, on paper, everything can look okay. Different areas of your life are going okay. They’re not amazing, but they’re not bad either. Yet that emptiness keeps showing up. Every day starts to feel like Groundhog Day, basically the same thing, different day.

You know something is up, but you just keep going. It’s like you’re waiting for the big sign, the crisis, the big explosion that forces you to do something differently. But it never comes, and instead you’re left with more of the same. You feel stagnant. Things aren’t necessarily bad, but they’re not growing or changing either.

The thing is, sometimes we know certain things aren’t working, yet we stay in the same loop, repeating the same patterns. Slowly, it can eat away at us bit by bit until we barely recognise who we are anymore. We’ve turned into a robot, doing things simply because that’s the way they’ve been done for so long.

So, if we know something isn’t working, why do we keep repeating it?

Familiar Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Good

It could be because what stands on the other side involves change and, let’s face it, change can be difficult, right?

Change can mean stepping into new areas that are a bit (or a lot) outside our comfort zone. It can mean having conversations or setting boundaries that feel uncomfortable because we’ve finally decided we want something different.

It can also mean putting in the effort to change old beliefs, patterns or behaviours, and sometimes that can be really difficult.

Familiarity doesn’t necessarily mean good. In fact, if something has become too familiar, perhaps we need to look at changing things up a bit.

Think about exercise. If we do exactly the same workout over and over again, eventually our bodies get used to it. We might maintain what we have, but if we want to develop our strength or stamina, we usually need to introduce something different.

Perhaps the same can be said for other areas of our lives. If we continually follow the same routines and patterns, how much opportunity are we giving ourselves to experience anything new?

So, You’ve Decided Something Needs to Change. What Next?

Often, we think we can think our way into change.

We read the books, watch the videos, listen to the podcasts and consume as much information as possible. Surely, if we know what we’re doing, or what we’re meant to be doing, then we’ll do it, right?

Erm, not quite.

Understanding something and having a plan can absolutely help, but eventually, we have to take action.

Making changes often means interrupting old thought patterns and behaviours and sometimes going against beliefs we’ve held for years. Thinking about doing something is very different from actually doing it.

Bruce Lee famously said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

It’s repetition that matters. And while our existing habits may have become familiar through years of repetition, we can use that same principle to create new ones.

When we introduce a different action and repeat it often enough, over time that new behaviour can start to become familiar too. That’s how we begin to replace some of those old patterns rather than continually falling back into them.

Accountability can really help here too. Having somebody who checks in, encourages you to keep going and helps you get back on track when you wobble can make a big difference.

We Make Change Too Big

Doing something differently doesn’t have to mean blowing your life apart.

You don’t have to wait for a crisis, make a huge purchase or completely disrupt your life.

Change can be small and meaningful.

Sometimes it can be as simple as changing what is around you.

It can be difficult to think or operate differently when we’re in the same environment day in, day out. We wake up in the same place, follow the same routines, see the same people and have many of the same conversations.

Changing your environment can interrupt some of those familiar patterns and give you something new to respond to.

And I’m not saying you need to pack your bags, quit your job and disappear to the other side of the world. Changing your environment could mean going somewhere you haven’t been before, taking a different route on your walk, spending a day somewhere new, getting out into nature, joining a new group or simply changing your usual routine.

I’ve experienced many times through travel how being somewhere different can shift the way I look at things. When you step away from your usual surroundings and routines, sometimes you notice things you couldn’t see when you were right in the middle of them.

A different environment doesn’t magically fix everything, but it can give us an opportunity to interrupt the familiar and experience ourselves and our lives from a slightly different perspective.

What Could You Do Differently?

Change doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can be small but incredibly impactful.

So, what is one thing you could do differently this week?

Do something your current self wouldn’t normally do. Go somewhere different. Change your routine. Say yes to something you might normally say no to. Start a conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Then notice what happens.

Because if we know something needs to change, perhaps the first step isn’t working out the whole answer.

Perhaps it’s simply choosing not to do exactly the same thing again.

If you need some support working out what you want next, changing some of those old patterns or having someone keep you accountable along the way, please get in touch. I offer free discovery calls where we can have a chat about where you are now and what you’d like to change.

Your Thoughts:

How did it feel to do something differently? Did anything come up for you? Did you enjoy it? Did you learn something about yourself? Is there something you’d like to welcome more of into your life?