When Overwhelm Hits, Switch to Underwhelm

I am a full-time caregiver for my husband with Parkinson’s. Some days and weeks are relatively easy. Other times it’s being up every couple of hours during the night and constantly on call during the day.

When the 24/7 periods hit, I become a different person. Tired, grumpy, listless, discouraged, etc. That is when my self-alert system says it’s time to switch gears.

Just like when driving and you need more power to get up a hill I shift down to a lower gear. I call it underwhelm. Instead of trying harder to keep up with everything, I deliberately expect less of myself for a while.

My Four Rules for Underwhelm

It consists of several parts.

One: Turn Off The “Guilt” Warning System

Off. Totally off. No matter that I made promises to myself or others to do things, if I can’t do them without a serious case of grumbling it’s time to take them off for a bit.

Two: Take Naps

Any time I can fit them in. Five or ten minutes works wonders.

Three: Read a Book

For me, cozies are the best. Low-key, little drama, fun characters and settings.

Years ago, I came across some research suggesting that even a few minutes of reading can help reduce stress. I liked the idea so much that I put it on bookmarks that I give away at book events.

Whether six minutes is the magic number or not, I don’t need much scientific encouragement to pick up a book. Reading is my favorite way to step away from everything for a little while.

I also have no problem picking books that I have already read for another go-round.

Some of my current favorites are the Miss Read series (very old-school, but quiet and enjoyable), M. C. Beaton, Jacqueline Winspear and Debbie Macomber. A brand new author I’m loving is Christy J. Kendall, who now lives here in Clark County, Washington, my home turf. Nice.

When it comes to cozies, I love a twitch from a witch or a snoop from a spook or something with a bit of supernatural that is not over the top.

And some middle grade reads are perfect for my return to childhood moments at 70.

Finally, there is step four which is not recommended, I imagine, but works for me.

Four: Something Sweet

A cookie or a piece of chocolate is never amiss. It worked for Mary Poppins so I’m not open to other arguments. When I am tired, grumpy and out of sorts, it helps. Maybe short-term but some fixes don’t need to be doctor approved. My opinion only, of course, so don’t sue me for this one.

More Underwhelm Practices

Journaling

I write for a few minutes most days. Nothing to be shared or turned into an inspiring memoir. Weather, doctor trips, ideas, visits and musings about anything that pops up.

Housework

I set my timer for 30 minutes and clean the kitchen, make the bed, touch a bit in the bathroom. Knowing that I have a set time helps me get it done. And housework in itself is sort of mindless and soothing, if not carried to extreme. Anything over 30 minutes for me is extreme.

Video Games (as Referred to Above)

Yep, totally addicted to the very simple, old- school ones. Jigsaw puzzles, spider and klondike solitaire, sudoku and word search. I turn off the audio because I don’t need that stimulation to enjoy the games. The ads sometimes annoy me a lot when they won’t turn off and just go into endless loops, but little annoyances are going to be found in everything. Sigh.

Computer Work

For me working on the computer is relaxing. I do a weekly radio program, so it is one of those things I am committed to, but it’s fun for the most part. Editing the audio, creating graphics for Pinterest, Instagram and sometimes Facebook is creative and enjoyable.

There’s Nothing Wrong with the Slow Lane

Underwhelm isn’t giving up. It’s adjusting my expectations to match the life I’m actually living today.

And I’m beginning to think there’s nothing wrong with the slow lane. When life gets steep, maybe the answer isn’t to press harder on the accelerator. Maybe it’s to shift down, take a few things off the list, have a nap, read a cozy mystery and eat the cookie.

The hill will still be there tomorrow.

Let’s Chat:

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Are there special practices that work perfectly in those moments when stress is too much?