Have you considered that there are different approaches to the dating process? Well, there are. For some people, dating is like an adventure. Others whine all the time that they can’t find anyone worth dating. And still others, like a challenge. Which one are you?
Let’s have a look at each of them separately.
Now, if you ask me, this is by far the best approach, whether you’ve experienced online dating or not. Adventure includes excitement, but it certainly does not preclude a bit of nervousness and angst. A bit of both is good and common to trying something new… or something scary!
Here’s an example of what a client said about trying online dating:
“Online dating is like going into an unknown jungle with all kinds of wild animals, dangerous plants, and traps…. but also, gorgeous flowers, sweet animals and revitalizing pools. It helps to have the no-nonsense safety guide who does the briefing BEFORE you go in and then is also the guide who points out things along the way. Sometimes, she has to pick you up after a bad fall and dust you off. Now, imaging going into the jungle with NO guide or briefing…. no wonder people have horrible experiences!”
Oh, oh. I’m sure the title gives advance notice of how this is going to work out. Not well, you are thinking, yes?
Unfortunately, I do bump into this occasionally. Where does this attitude come from? Well, let’s create a list and see if you fall under any of these:
Time to buck up. This may have been the experiences some had in the 90s and early 2000s, but online dating has radically changed. Thus, your attitude must change into a positive one, or at least neutral.
Just think about this: 48% of Americans are single according to the US Census Bureau, there are over 1500 dating sites/apps in the US, and the number one way people are finding relationships in their 50s –70s is online dating.
To be blunt, had you been divorced, widowed or single in the 1990s, it would have been tough meeting the right people at our age. Uh, uh, not anymore. We are so fortunate!
So, what do I do with a whiner client? Laura, 62, was one, and I immediately put a stop to her talking to single, negative friends about dating. Talk to an impartial third party who can be your cheerleader, like a good dating coach for both accountability and to keep your spirits up and in perspective.
Oh, I like this one too! Many women decide to open their hearts and minds, generally for a three-month period, and give it their all. Why does this work?
Tara, 58, was very uncomfortable sending messages. Back in November, her typical message was a heart with “Hi, how are you?” Of course, this is generic and elicited how many responses? Zero! This comes across as no real interest and a copy/paste. Tara has since graduated to 2-3 sentence messages showing that she read the prospect’s dating profile and has genuine interest. In February, she went on 6 dates. My fingers are crossed for Tara!
Attitude is everything, and yes, I see people fall in love every month. Sometimes every week. And that’s why I do what I do!
Which dating category do you fall into: whiner, adventurer or challenge-lover? How has your attitude helped or hindered your dating process?
Tags Senior Dating Advice
I’m a whiner. Leary of men because of bad relationships from the past. It’s hard to trust men
I’m gain to try … again – I’m an Adventurer
Met husband on a dating app. Both of us are widowed. I was involved with an alcoholic previously. Our first date was not coffee shop, it was dinner. ” I like to get to know someone” he said… We met late October, went on Christmas cruise with him. Married in April at our home. Have never been happier.