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Step into Your Power – And Become a Queen!

By Janet Gourand July 16, 2023 Lifestyle

Did you know that postmenopausal women comprise the largest demographic group in America?

The ancient tripartite divisions of Maiden, Mother, and Crone have become even more relevant as the Crone stage now represents one third of our lifespan. For most of us the word Crone triggers the image of a bent old woman whereas that is just not what a mid-life woman looks like these days!

In fact, those years from 40 to 80 can be the years when many women come into their own and find their power. It’s the time when we can lift our head from those busy child rearing/career building years and start thinking about who we are and what we really want from the next part of our life.

It’s a time of reinvention, and for many women it’s a second chance of fulfilment.

So how about rebranding of those 3 stages of womanhood – to Maiden, Mother and Queen? Here are the 7 ways to find your path to power.

#1: Use Your Post-Menopausal Shift as a Gift!

The hormonal changes which we experience post menopause will influence our emotions, mood and behaviour. The reduction in our estrogen levels means that our focus will be less on nurturing and people pleasing and more on the external world. If we’ve had children, they have grown up and need us less, releasing time and energy for us to put ourselves first.

We care less about what people think about us and feel ready to take time to explore new horizons.

#2: Develop a New Career

No longer do we have to decide on a career at 21 and stick with it until we retire. Many people change careers several times during their lives. Even if you spent 20 years looking after your family and bringing up children, it’s not too late to take a training course and get qualified for an exciting new career.

Thanks to technology we can now work from home or even be a digital nomad as we travel around the world with our laptop!

If you are stuck for ideas, then get some vocational guidance from a counsellor.

#3: Find Your Passion!

If you are an empty nester or have retired from your job, you will need to find something that lights you up and makes you eager to get up in the morning. Human beings are not wired to do nothing all day. We all need to feel busy and useful if we are going to keep our happy brain chemicals triggered.

Get an idea of the huge range of interests that people have by browsing or sign up for one of the thousands of online courses on Browse the thousands of podcasts available in Apple and Spotify. Check out the opportunities for volunteering in your area. Volunteering actually lights up the same pleasure pathways in your brain as drugs, sex and alcohol!

If you still struggle to find your passion, then book a session with a life coach. Your coach is your thinking partner, and few things are more powerful than having someone “in your story with you.”

#4: Go Alcohol Free!

During the “Mother” stage many women get exhausted running around after their families, and, if we are working, we have a boss to keep happy as well! We become “people pleasers” and get used to putting ourselves last. At the end of (another) hectic day we long for the quick fix that a glass of wine can give us. Over the years that glass can easily become several glasses or even a bottle.

Drinking through menopause will not only worsen our symptoms but it will sap our energy and motivation to try new interests and make the most of becoming a Queen!

At Tribe Sober we say that Sobriety is our Superpower – it enables us to redirect our energy into building a life we don’t want to escape from!

More and more people are not drinking alcohol. People are waking up to the fact that alcohol accelerates ageing and is linked to 7 different types of cancer. Alternatives don’t have to mean soft drinks laden with sugar as there are many delicious alcohol-free alternatives available these days.

#5: Resolve Your Issues

Many women find themselves drinking more during menopause and the theory is that unresolved issues get highlighted during this period. A good analogy is a house with cracked walls. You can paper over those cracks for years, but the menopause is like a shift in the ground below the house.

This will highlight the cracks so that you can no longer ignore them. If you are used to drinking to self-medicate to cope with these issues, then you may find yourself drinking even more during your post-menopausal years.

Instead of resorting to alcohol to numb your pain, join a sobriety community to help you quit drinking. As you begin to thrive in your alcohol-free life, you will be able to explore any unresolved issues with a therapist and begin to heal.

It’s all part of your strategy to put yourself first and become a Queen!

#6: Focus on Your Health

Alcohol damages our gut and overburdens our liver. Our liver is like a dustbin and one of its many jobs is de-activating hormones – old hormones. If it can’t do that then we may end up with too much estrogen floating around which will cause an imbalance and put us at risk of estrogen driven breast cancer.

None of us will get out of here alive but the goal should be to stay as healthy for as long as possible. Eat well and exercise daily. Medical science is advancing at lightning speed, and we can get detailed diagnostic scans of practically every part of our body these days. We can even get feedback on our gut microbiome which plays a big role in our health.

Giving up alcohol is one of the best things we can do for our health and happiness as we age. Here are Six Reasons to Quit Drinking at 60.

#7: Get Connected!

Many studies have highlighted the importance of social connections as we age. Maintaining connections or making new ones may seem more daunting the older we get, but, in fact, retirement is the perfect time to try new things and build a whole new network of friends.

If you are struggling with alcohol dependence or simply sober curious you may be interested in joining Tribe Sober community of Queens, many of whom have quit drinking and stepped into their power. Come join us and get inspired! Sixty and Me readers can get a 20% discount on Annual Membership by using the coupon “sixty” when they sign up.

Check out our latest podcast episode called Sober Queens on Apple and Spotify.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you heard of the 3 stages of womanhood – maiden, mother and crone? Do you agree that rebranding Crone to Queen is appropriate for the modern age? Have you stepped into your power? What are you doing with your post-menopausal years? Are you still loving your career? Have you found your passion? Does alcohol feature in your life? Are you sober curious and looking to connect with some Sober Queens?

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Felicia G

At 67 I’ve returned to college. Having to learn all the elevators, ramps and automatic doors because I use an upright walker. I stand out in this younger culture. Takes a while to get used to and I’m learning to find and use my voice.

janet gourand

fantastic Felicia – pushing out of our comfort zone take confidence and courage – and you did it! well done and good luck with your studies



janet gourand



Why? It’s a great article.

janet gourand

thank you Jena – nothing at all SAD about becoming a Queen ;-)



janet gourand




janet gourand

glad you liked the article Natasha


Oh Janet – this article is the BEST!
And yes, yes, yes… we are QUEENS 👸👸🏻and can carry our crowns with boldness because we are bad-ass, brave and beyond capable of just being our own selves❣️
This is our time to take responsibility of our wild and wonderful lives🤍🌈

janet gourand

and what a wonderful example you are Queen Merleen… on your motorbike ;-)

The Author

Janet Gourand is a writer, a podcaster and a recovery coach. She quit drinking in 2015 at the age of 63. She founded Tribe Sober which enables people to change their relationship with alcohol. Tribe Sober is an international community which offers a membership program.

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