The short answer to this question is “no.”
I can hear the collective gasp. And I agree that retirees are eager to plunge into the things we love, things we’ve put off, or things we’ve always wanted to try. But aligning “keeping busy” with “happiness?” That’s a slippery slope.
During our work lives we put a lot of emphasis on productivity. We’re evaluated according to how much we accomplish. That spills into other aspects of life, because we live in a culture that values getting things done, momentum, progress. We can ride quite the hamster wheel.
How busy we are is a difficult yardstick to set aside. It’s been a dubious badge of honor we’ve worn for most of our lives.
Is retirement the time to polish that badge to a blinding shine? Not necessarily.
As tempting as it is to fill up our days, a truly happy retirement requires more than a full calendar of activities and appointments. It requires introspection, contemplation, and reflective thinking… and time to devote to those things.
Retirement is the perfect time to get to know yourself better. You can get clarity about what you truly want and allow that to guide how you spend your valuable time. Your day-to-day has become less noisy. Let that work in your favor.
This doesn’t mean you must go on a pilgrimage or spend hours in meditation (unless you want to). Getting to the Heart of You can be as simple as asking key questions such as:
What do I want to know more about?
When have I felt most alive? How can I feel that way now?
If I could wave a magic wand, what would I love to learn?
What do I still have to offer?
No busy-ness is required other than voicing some thoughts. Maybe reflecting on previous versions of yourself. And seeing what happens next.
Answers to big questions like these may not come quickly. Or the signs we’re waiting for might be subtle, almost silent.
At this stage of life, we learn to appreciate nuance. We can find magic in surprising places. We can allow for an unfolding that we didn’t have the patience for in years past.
Serendipity becomes a companion. Synchronicity makes more appearances. Those messengers travel at their own speed, and that’s OK.
Early on in retirement it can feel like we’ve been shot out of a cannon.
Ready, aim, FIRE! Here we go into the vast field of dreams and landscape of possibilities! Fill your time! Say yes! Try this, attempt that!
It can be exhilarating. Or it can be exhausting.
If all this activity leaves you breathless, what’s the hurry? We don’t have to run toward a happy retirement. We’ve been racing for years.
We can release “busy-ness” without languishing.
We can take one small step forward at a time. Gather information. Make inquiries. Take a class, take our time. Let the information or the experience sink in.
We can connect with others who are living their retired lives and talk about our experience. Join a group, get some support. There are more than a billion people in the world age 60+, and we need one another.
The trick is not to simply kick up dust. Instead, do what the spirit moves you to do, act on what’s truly calling you. Nothing more, nothing less.
Retirement is not “one size fits all.” We enter into and continue through our retired lives at our own pace. That doesn’t always look to the outside world like we’re busy. Indeed, if we were, we might run down the wrong track. We might overlook some important information.
So close your calendar and close your eyes. Take a breath and take a moment. See what comes up, even if it’s nothing at all (yet).
Wave bye-bye to busy. At least for a while.
Are you a retiree that’s too busy? Have you taken time to reflect on what you truly want in retirement? Are you devoting time to introspection as you plan your retired life? Let’s have a conversation!
Oh My Downward Dog. I don’t do yoga but that is me. Feeling I need to have a goal, purpose, agenda, never relax. And at 73. Make it stop.
Then just stop it! 😃
I retired two years ago and it took me a good 18months to just relax into my new life and dispense with the thoughts that I should be more productive. What a luxury it is to wake up each morning and think ‘what shall I do today?’ I am still pretty busy most days but it’s at a much slower pace and doing exactly whatever I feel like. WONDERFUL!
Thank you so much for bringing this perspective. I do not see it very often amongst my many readings about the retirement years.
I am not one of the go-go-go retirees. Instead, I am enjoying the softening of my life after decades of a stressful career. I have retired friends who feel the need to be on the go or productive at all times. Not me! My slower paced life suits me very well and has delivered a life of peace and contentment.
Thank you so much, Ms. Smalley, for this article! The go-go-go folks kind of drive me nuts; I’m happy they are happy, to be constantly in motion like that, but after my very busy professional life, which was full of international travel, I’m now retired and do not have to meet anyone’s schedule any more! I truly love my peace and quiet and reflection time (and just don’t like being talked down to about it—peace and quiet are not boring at all).
The joys of relaxed time, taking your time, thinking your thoughts, spending your days in a leisurely way, are all so valuable and beautiful.
I agree completely. All through my retirement I was asked what I was planning to do with my time. After raising four children, managing a medical office and keeping the home fires burning, I love that I have no demands on my time and am savoring being able to step back and enjoy the simple things.
Love love love this article! When I retired 5 years ago, I was inundated with articles about finding your purpose as you age. I soon realized that that was a pitfall and only made me anxious. I took my time, determined how I wanted to spend my time and now I feel satisfied with my choices!