Falling in Love in Later Life: Is It About Passion or Companionship?
There is something quite special about falling in love when you are a little older, maybe because we didn’t see it coming! Some of my friends use internet dating to find ‘the one’, but I am not so sure I would ever try it. I find it a little black-and-white and somewhat contrived. As a writer, I love observing people’s subtle nuances, and how they interact with others. However, I have heard of success stories, so perhaps don’t knock it till you try it :).
Body Language
I much prefer to physically be with someone. I like seeing their mannerisms, the way they move their body, the look in their eyes, how they react to situations. Hearing the pitch and tone of their voice, as well as the words they use is important to me. Even in this day of feminism, I love a man to open doors for me and make me feel I am the only one in the room. Is that outdated?
The Bit in the Middle
For me the best bit is the bit in the middle. When you first find yourself thinking about someone, without really knowing why. You are not too sure of your feelings… or theirs. It could all be over in an instant, but they may become the love of your life! You want to hurry up and find out, but, in a way, you love the long, drawn-out, will-it-won’t-it. I love the butterflies that fly around in my tummy when I see the person in question, and the daydreaming that seems to take over my life!
Would You Want to Fall in Love Again?
For me, I am not sure if I even want to fall in love again, although I am not sure if we have that option. Yes, it is a wonderful feeling, something like no other, but even after a 35-year relationship, I can’t help feeling a bit of a failure that it ended, or worry I would take forward my trust issues into any other relationship.
I have also built a wonderful life for myself where I am free to be me, and I have to say, I really like it. I do pretty much what I want, when I want. It doesn’t matter if dinner is at 6.00pm, or midnight. No-one cares if I am up all night, lay in bed all morning or write an article at 3.00 am. I guess it would have to be a very special person for me to fall in love with, but an even more special one to fall in love with me!
Companionship or Passion?
Some people are looking for companionship and would be happy to find someone to spend time with and share life together. And I truly get this. One of the things I have missed while travelling is having someone with whom to share special moments.
But for me it would have to be true passion, someone to laugh and cry with. Someone to hold my hand and make me feel safe and special. A person I looked forward to seeing as soon as I opened my eyes each morning, after spending the night snuggled up together. I love that feeling of intimacy between two people, that is yours and yours alone.
Looking for Love?
So, I won’t be internet dating or walking down the food aisles anytime soon. I am loving my life just the way it is. But ‘sliding doors’ moments can happen at any time in our lives, and we never know when love might be hiding behind one of them.
I guess, in a way, that is the exciting bit!
Please Join the Conversation:
Would you like to fall in love again? Have you? What’s more important to you: companionship or passion?
Tags Senior Dating Advice
Hello!
I am not sure that I want to fall in love again. Unforunately, I thought I had found the one, was engaged, only to find out that he was/is a narcissist. Charm, love, future together…was all fake. He wore a mask the entire time meaning I never knew him.
I won’t totally discard the idea of love because I have not hardened my heart. I am just extremely cautious, maintaining strong boundaries and slow to trust.
Hi Sandra, thank you for joining the conversation.I think that is what worries a lot of women, me included. I think I like the idea of falling in love, more than the reality! Lily x
I lost my husband of 28 years to cancer 25 years ago. 18 months later I reconnected with a friend from college (I dated his roommate but married someone else.)
this relationship was completely unexpected and I remarried 9 years later.
we are both in our ‘70’s and he is facing some serious health issues. The passion has faded but we are there for each other in the important things.
He isn’t into traveling anymore so I go solo- spending 3 weeks in NZ this winter!
Hi Robin, thank you for joining the conversation. I am sorry to hear you lost your husband, but so happy to hear you have found love again! Enjoy NZ :) Lily x
I think I’m jaded about finding à loving companion. Despite my best efforts there is no-one who really intérêsts me for romance. I’m 71, and wonder what on earth I would do with a man now.
Hi Jane, thank you for joining the conversation. I know how you feel and it is tough to find a special someone, but as you can see from all these lovely comments, many people do! Lily x
I would be open to a little bit of both. I divorced after a failed 10 year marriage. I am now 60 yrs old and feel uncertain. I miss having someone to come home to and share special moments. If it is in God’s plan for me to fall in love again, It will happen. If not, I have no worries because I enjoy just being alone also.
Hi Julie, thank you for joining the conversation. I think you speak for many of us! Lily x
I did find love through internet dating, and I had so much fun! Perhaps, because I took it lightly and didn’t set out to find passion but companionship, so I wasn’t worried about commitment. My husband was date # 15, and he wasn’t also looking for anything long term, so we both just wanted to have fun! We’ve now been married for 11 years, and our relationship has both passion and companionship, and I can’t imagine my life without him!
I agree! I did want to find love again, after being married the second time for only 5 months, when he suddenly passed away. At 63, I knew I smight live another 20 years, and didn’t want to do it alone. Yes, online dating can be a roller coaster, but the goal is to meet people that way, not stay online forever. I met scammers, a stalker, and a felon, and had a 9 month relationship with a narcissist, before meeting the love of my life! He’d also been divorced and widowed. We’ve been married for 2 1/2 years, are retired but do things part-time, travel and have a lovely home. It’s a mixture of companionship and passion.
Hi Lee Ann, thank you for joining the conversation. I am so sorry to hear your husband passed away. I am always so inspired by my readers, you all seem to know how to make life as good as it can be. Lily x
Hi Veronica, thank you for joining the conversation. Sounds like you have met a very special man!! The wonderful thing about love is that you never know when it might come knocking! Lily x