It’s the new year, time to start fresh, making resolutions for changes that contribute to our well-being. One way to do it is to make peace with our possessions and remove the unwanted clutter from our lives. In addition, as we get older, we often need to downsize.
When my 93-year-old father died in January 2020, my sisters and I dismantled our parents’ home where they had lived for half a century. That year, I resolved to make things easier for my children. Soon, I realized that decluttering my life was more than a one-shot process. It was a lifestyle, and it was empowering, even liberating.
The good news is that there are great resources to help you. The most well-known is Marie Kondo, the Japanese organizing consultant, who said, “The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life,” offering six commitments:
Margareta Magnusson, author of The Swedish Art of Ageing Well and Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, says that once you have “unburdened by baggage (emotional and actual),” you can dedicate your life to valuing each day, the challenging moments, and the many joyful times. She describes removing or redistributing items as uplifting rather than overwhelming, writing about death and dying in hopeful and sometimes funny ways.
Another resource is Rachel Kodanaz’sFinding Peace, One Piece at a Time. Kodanaz describes the spiritual aspects of honoring beautiful memories and the power of special possessions in ways to keep our loved ones with us while not accumulating too much.
I purposely listed resources at the beginning of this blog because we each need to find our unique approach and don’t need to follow the suggestions to the letter. I hope my personal examples can help you feel more connected to the process of downsizing and decluttering.
When we moved into our small home with three children 35 years ago, I was forced not to accumulate too much. We converted the garage into my office, so there was limited storage space. As our kids moved out, we asked them to take their “stuff” with them. Yet, it is incredible how things continually pile up.
While regularly donating clothing, books, and dishes, I accumulated old receipts, voided contracts, and useless financial documents. Recently, I filled eight garbage bags with documents that were too sensitive for home recycling bins! I was careful not to dump the deed to my home or pink slip for a current vehicle. Watching each bag go through the shredder at a local facility left me feeling lighter!
Following Kondo’s suggestion to keep items that give joy, I had to face my love of books. Over the years, mountains of books piled up on top of packed bookshelves. So, I organized my books by category. In the living room, I kept unique books and family photo albums. In my office, I kept professional books used for writing and another bookshelf with family history and journals.
On a smaller shelf, my little collection of children’s books had been saved for my grandchildren. Reading them to my grandchild is special. The rest I regularly donate. Even those in less-than-perfect shape that I place in the little free book boxes around my neighborhood. When the time comes (hopefully not too soon), I plan to find places to donate my professional books and any family history materials my children may choose not to keep.
As you might imagine, dismantling my parents’ home during the pandemic was emotional, with so many things that bring back memories. I decided not to keep anything that would clutter my home. My father, a Jewish cantor, had a huge collection of Jewish books and an archive of music, including reel-to-reel tapes of his voice.
Finding places for them was not easy during the pandemic. Many places turned me down, but I persisted. The University of California’s Jewish Studies department accepted 17 books, and a bookseller took the rest. I was very excited to donate seven boxes of tapes to the Jewish Music Association, which had an archive of cantors of the 20th century. It was harder to figure out what to do with the art.
During the 1920s, my grandfather collected art from budding German artists who became famous. He managed to get the art out of Germany before the Nazis forced him to flee. After these works of art traveled across oceans of time and history, how could I think about letting go of any of them? But we had to.
My sisters and I kept a few and donated the others. It was painful but healing as I turned the experience into an adventure. I researched the artists and created a database with links to their stories. I even befriended the daughter of one artist.
How have you sorted through all your possessions and kept the ones with meaning for you? Do you have any tips? We can learn from each other!
Tags Downsizing Your Life
Hi Becki – I’ve always said that downsizing is not an activity or project – but a lifestyle! Thanks for this great article!!
i’m in my 70’s and i have kept my grandmothers singer sewing machine and my mother’s china a few other things here and there.. my daughter is my only child and i told her when i pass, to have a person who comes to the house to help sell furniture etc. she is to pay off my debts with the sale of the house, i do want to help her financially to so I told her the sale of the sewing machine, the furniture, and other items i kept from my parents she should keep the proceeds. i am going to find a way that she will not have to put then in with an inheritance. I kept these items not to clutter my home but to remind me of my childhood and to keep the memory of loved ones close
Thanks for all your comments. It has been fun to hear about the many situations we have that challenge us to look at our materials to see which ones we want to keep and which we can give up. Luckily, there are so many ways we can donate, sell, or recycle our items. Even for collectors, there are options. My father had this lovely stamp album with stamps from the 1800s from around the world. When I researched, I was disappointed to discover that none of the stamps had value. However, a man who loved stamps came to my house, and I gave the album to him, and he was grateful. He insisted on giving me $20. Our interaction was interesting as we learned about which stamps are valuable nowadays. I just couldn’t dump the album in the recycling bin!
I am in my large home where we brought up three children and have lived for 33 years. My husband has been a collector and user of a variety of wood and metalworking machines. Some are antiques that he has refurbished. After Retirement, he developed a hobby and business using these machines. This has entailed a lot of collection of materials. . He’s a very creative man, but a collector and I would say even somewhat a hoarder. I’m a sentimental person and artistic, and that created the upper level of our home into quite a lovely space. We have a guest room, but now find that we don’t have many guests, and one of our children when they come to visit their spouse prefers to stay in a hotel, which is fine I understand, I sometimes felt that way myself when going to visit family, I’d rather stay at a hotel for comfort and privacy. We had a recent month-long trip to another country, where one of our children lives, this experience brought us back home to our big house and a sense that this chapter is ending in our lives. We’ve lost friends who lived near us over the past several years, and we find ourselves lonely in our neighborhood. So all this to say, that we’ve been decluttering for the last couple of years making good progress, but there is still just so much stuff here and I do like the idea of focussing on categories of items and I’ve already started that with my clothing. I could have left our home some years ago really, but my husband‘s interest and hobbies were important to him and his life so I’ve been able to make it work , but I have a big birthday coming up 70, and I really am craving simpler life with less energy going into house maintenance cleaning and that one never feeling like we can get to everything that needs to be done in a big house and yard. Thank you for this great article .
I loved how you said you crave a simpler life. I am right behind you in age anr I’ve had that desire for years. It seems reasonable to want to simplify, doesn’t it? Life looks different to me now and in many ways decluttering has opened my eyes and given me a different mindset. Best of luck!