There is a growing trend for middle-aged women to embrace getting older by letting their hair go naturally grey. This trend is all over social media, fashion magazines, and the like. My response is, “Good for you! I salute you, sister, but don’t judge me if I keep coloring my hair.”
There seems to be a backlash on women like me, who are perfectly happy with their choice to continue to color their hair. This isn’t a conspiracy against feminism; in fact, this is a vote for letting women choose what they want to do with their body and what grows from it.
I am embracing growing older, but admittedly, I want to look and feel good doing it. So, yes, I exercise, wear makeup, and dye my hair. More and more, however, as I scroll through social media, women who continue to maintain some kind of a beauty routine as they approach their golden years seem to be ridiculed and publicly berated.
This is reminiscent of the bra burnings of the 1970s when women protested the Miss America Pageant because they felt that the pageant, with its focus on beauty and shape, was too exploitive of women. You were either for women’s rights (bra burners) or against them (everyone else), with nothing in between. This part of history can be seen as the start of the Women’s Movement when women wanted to be known for more than their looks and have a career other than that of housewife.
And, indeed, it was this movement that I witnessed growing up that convinced me that I could have a career, earn my own money, and not be reliant on a husband. It was because of these bra burners and the pioneers of the Equal Rights Amendment that I was able to climb the corporate ladder and buy my own house.
But now, as a new generation – my generation – of women carry the torch forward, determined to set an example of feminism in their golden years, the underlying mission seems to have been forgotten: preventing the discrimination of women!
The movement was all about women discovering and standing up for themselves. Everybody is a unique being. For some reason, though, if you didn’t burn your bra in the 1970s, or don’t let your hair go gray in 2025, you are betraying women and not asserting your rights. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
There are numerous reasons to let my hair go grey. Expense, time, and if you believe everything you read, going grey gives you a feeling of empowerment. Perhaps it’s just me, but my hair color doesn’t give me a sense of empowerment; what empowers me is my ability to make my own choices, to stand up for myself, and to truly be an independent contributing member of society.
For me, continuing to color my hair fits in with the movement’s initial thesis: all women can be who they want to be; we are individuals with equal rights and opportunities.
Choosing your hair color and style is an individual preference. I support women who go au naturel. All I ask is for that same sort of tolerance should I choose a different route (or should I say root?). As Shirley Chisolm said, “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” So, to coin a phrase from the 1970s, “Women Unite” and let’s not let a few grey hairs divide us.
Also read, Thinking About Going Grey? Here’s What to Really Expect.
Do you plan on going grey or dye until you die? How has the 1970s Women’s Movement influenced you? When it comes to your own individual style, do you tend to go with the trends, or do you have a signature style that has been with you for years?
I’m 75 and 19 months without dye. It took me a few months, but I really love my grey/white hair. I think it looks glamourous.
You go girl!
I really appreciate you bringing this part of history into the conversation—it’s powerful to remember how the Women’s Movement was born out of a desire for agency and self-definition. I think we’re still grappling with the same core tension today: how to honor individuality while also acknowledging the cultural forces that shape our choices, especially as women.
For me, it’s not about judging someone for not going gray or for getting a lift or wearing mascara or not. It’s about being honest with ourselves about why we feel pressure to do or not do those things. My decision to have a neck and lower face lift, for instance, wasn’t about betraying the cause—it was about reclaiming something for me, from a place of clarity, not conformity.
What concerns me is when the conversation gets flattened—when aging “naturally” becomes the new litmus test of empowerment, just like burning your bra once was. The truth is, we don’t all walk through the world with the same privileges, the same visibility, or the same wounds. And so our choices look different. That’s not division—that’s depth.
So yes—women unite. But let’s also allow for nuance, evolution, and the right to change our minds. That’s the kind of solidarity I’m here for.
So nicely said! I am glad my piece resonated with you.
I will be 68 this year, I’ve always dyed my hair blonde/blondish over the years from dark dishwater/ brown. Now raising a grandchild my focus has been financially on the child, not my haircolor. It’s grown hallway to past shoulder length dark brown/grey uneven and the remainder is blonde. I keep it clipped up but I hope to dye it a reasonable color just not uneven dark.