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Don’t Judge Me for My Hair Color: The Question of Going Grey

By Rhonda Chiger February 24, 2025 Lifestyle

There is a growing trend for middle-aged women to embrace getting older by letting their hair go naturally grey. This trend is all over social media, fashion magazines, and the like. My response is, “Good for you! I salute you, sister, but don’t judge me if I keep coloring my hair.”

What If You Don’t Want to Go Grey?

There seems to be a backlash on women like me, who are perfectly happy with their choice to continue to color their hair. This isn’t a conspiracy against feminism; in fact, this is a vote for letting women choose what they want to do with their body and what grows from it.

I am embracing growing older, but admittedly, I want to look and feel good doing it. So, yes, I exercise, wear makeup, and dye my hair. More and more, however, as I scroll through social media, women who continue to maintain some kind of a beauty routine as they approach their golden years seem to be ridiculed and publicly berated.

The Women’s Movement Influence

This is reminiscent of the bra burnings of the 1970s when women protested the Miss America Pageant because they felt that the pageant, with its focus on beauty and shape, was too exploitive of women. You were either for women’s rights (bra burners) or against them (everyone else), with nothing in between. This part of history can be seen as the start of the Women’s Movement when women wanted to be known for more than their looks and have a career other than that of housewife.

And, indeed, it was this movement that I witnessed growing up that convinced me that I could have a career, earn my own money, and not be reliant on a husband. It was because of these bra burners and the pioneers of the Equal Rights Amendment that I was able to climb the corporate ladder and buy my own house.

But now, as a new generation – my generation – of women carry the torch forward, determined to set an example of feminism in their golden years, the underlying mission seems to have been forgotten: preventing the discrimination of women!

The movement was all about women discovering and standing up for themselves. Everybody is a unique being. For some reason, though, if you didn’t burn your bra in the 1970s, or don’t let your hair go gray in 2025, you are betraying women and not asserting your rights. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Empowering Yourself

There are numerous reasons to let my hair go grey. Expense, time, and if you believe everything you read, going grey gives you a feeling of empowerment. Perhaps it’s just me, but my hair color doesn’t give me a sense of empowerment; what empowers me is my ability to make my own choices, to stand up for myself, and to truly be an independent contributing member of society.

For me, continuing to color my hair fits in with the movement’s initial thesis: all women can be who they want to be; we are individuals with equal rights and opportunities.

Choosing your hair color and style is an individual preference. I support women who go au naturel. All I ask is for that same sort of tolerance should I choose a different route (or should I say root?). As Shirley Chisolm said, “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” So, to coin a phrase from the 1970s, “Women Unite” and let’s not let a few grey hairs divide us.

Also read, Thinking About Going Grey? Here’s What to Really Expect.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you plan on going grey or dye until you die? How has the 1970s Women’s Movement influenced you? When it comes to your own individual style, do you tend to go with the trends, or do you have a signature style that has been with you for years?

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Lori

I went Grey young, at age 45. My friends found my first grey hair at age 16 and by late 20s I was pulling them out each day when I put on my makeup. It is an old wives tale if you pull them out you get two more. At age 32 I could no longer keep up with them and started dying my hair. I loved it when it was dyed as I felt I was too young for grey hair, but by the time I was 40 I thought the grey would be nice. At 45 I got a lot of blond highlights added to my hair and the grey was allowed to grow back in. A few trips to the salon for more highlights as the grey grew in to make it look natural without being choppy and that was all it took. I never looked back and I have loved it ever since. I do believe to each their own and we all need to do what feels good to us.

Felicia

The main (mane?) takeaway is that we each have the right to exercise our choice to color or go gray. Gray hair makes my complexion look ashen. I plan to go to the Great Beyond as a Blonde!

Rhonda Chiger

Love your play on words and I couldn’t agree more!

rocket

I think whether you color your hair or not, PLEASE make an effort to make certain you keep your hair cut or trimmed and don’t end up looking “witchy” with long straggly hair..

Nan Hooks

I too let my hair color grow out in 2020 but I had already decided to do that before COVID hit which made going to a hairdresser difficult. My roots always appeared an ugly shade of non-color but I went with it anyway. It turns out, in my case anyway, that I have many different shades, almost as though I have highlights and I love it! Yes, the roots were ugly compared to the shade I colored my hair, but once I let it all go “grey”, it was beautiful and I receive many compliments. Now granted, my hair was short when I first stopped coloring it, but now it’s about chin length and I will never go back to coloring my hair.

Pamela Scott

No bras were actually burned. It’s a media-driven myth aimed at making feminists look silly, petty, and stupid.

The Author

Rhonda Chiger is a professional dancer, turned corporate executive, turned amateur dancer, entrepreneur, and PTA mom. Her blog, Rhonda’s Musings, provides readers with essays about life from a middle-aged woman’s perspective. Her blog is both sentimental and witty, always with a message of positivity and moving forward.

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