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Don’t Judge Me for My Hair Color: The Question of Going Grey

By Rhonda Chiger February 24, 2025 Lifestyle

There is a growing trend for middle-aged women to embrace getting older by letting their hair go naturally grey. This trend is all over social media, fashion magazines, and the like. My response is, “Good for you! I salute you, sister, but don’t judge me if I keep coloring my hair.”

What If You Don’t Want to Go Grey?

There seems to be a backlash on women like me, who are perfectly happy with their choice to continue to color their hair. This isn’t a conspiracy against feminism; in fact, this is a vote for letting women choose what they want to do with their body and what grows from it.

I am embracing growing older, but admittedly, I want to look and feel good doing it. So, yes, I exercise, wear makeup, and dye my hair. More and more, however, as I scroll through social media, women who continue to maintain some kind of a beauty routine as they approach their golden years seem to be ridiculed and publicly berated.

The Women’s Movement Influence

This is reminiscent of the bra burnings of the 1970s when women protested the Miss America Pageant because they felt that the pageant, with its focus on beauty and shape, was too exploitive of women. You were either for women’s rights (bra burners) or against them (everyone else), with nothing in between. This part of history can be seen as the start of the Women’s Movement when women wanted to be known for more than their looks and have a career other than that of housewife.

And, indeed, it was this movement that I witnessed growing up that convinced me that I could have a career, earn my own money, and not be reliant on a husband. It was because of these bra burners and the pioneers of the Equal Rights Amendment that I was able to climb the corporate ladder and buy my own house.

But now, as a new generation – my generation – of women carry the torch forward, determined to set an example of feminism in their golden years, the underlying mission seems to have been forgotten: preventing the discrimination of women!

The movement was all about women discovering and standing up for themselves. Everybody is a unique being. For some reason, though, if you didn’t burn your bra in the 1970s, or don’t let your hair go gray in 2025, you are betraying women and not asserting your rights. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Empowering Yourself

There are numerous reasons to let my hair go grey. Expense, time, and if you believe everything you read, going grey gives you a feeling of empowerment. Perhaps it’s just me, but my hair color doesn’t give me a sense of empowerment; what empowers me is my ability to make my own choices, to stand up for myself, and to truly be an independent contributing member of society.

For me, continuing to color my hair fits in with the movement’s initial thesis: all women can be who they want to be; we are individuals with equal rights and opportunities.

Choosing your hair color and style is an individual preference. I support women who go au naturel. All I ask is for that same sort of tolerance should I choose a different route (or should I say root?). As Shirley Chisolm said, “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” So, to coin a phrase from the 1970s, “Women Unite” and let’s not let a few grey hairs divide us.

Also read, Thinking About Going Grey? Here’s What to Really Expect.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you plan on going grey or dye until you die? How has the 1970s Women’s Movement influenced you? When it comes to your own individual style, do you tend to go with the trends, or do you have a signature style that has been with you for years?

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Karin Ahlers

Getting ‘natural’ is not a political statement either. I love my grey hair – my granddaughter says, it’s shiny silver – it suits me. I started colouring my hair when I was 16 yrs old in any possible way. I stopped doing it when I was 63 – I wanted to know how I really look like. And I stayed with it. No chemical, unhealthy stuff on my hair again.

Elisabeth

I tried going grey and I looked 20 years older. Never again. Some people look amazing, I looked like a little gray mouse. Dye ’til I die, baby.

Elaine Ness

Funny that I didn’t see comments about what women DO with the hair color they stick with, whether coloring it or letting it go grey. I see well-cut, styled hair and I see plenty of topknots that are the color of choice but look pretty bad. No style, poor condition, and unflattering length.

The whole package counts. An unbiased professional eye and being open to some sound advice might be the main thing to consider as the years roll on.

Kathy

This is something that I have recently given much thought to. There are reports about how coloring your hair can cause cancer. I have heard this over the years. When it recently popped up again on the news, I was determined to let my hair go grey in the next few months…..but I am having my doubts as to whether or not I can actually feel comfortable doing that. My logical brain says do it and my self-conscious brain says maybe not!

Sandra

If my hair was grey I would embrace it
but my hair is pure white and I am not going there.
it will make me look older and washed out. I am 74.
.
I choose what I want and am not influenced by the others.
will probably color it till I die

Catherine Vance

Yeah, I was dark/blended blonde until I saw more and more silvery white coming in,
so I had .my stylist bleach out the yellow and now I am totally silvery white. I get many
compliments on it, but I still say, “wow, this is old” when I am in the mirror. So my
“decision” on this is a process, not an event. I still grow my hair long, then cut it short, then grow it, then cut it. Maybe I’ll do the same with color. Who knows?

The Author

Rhonda Chiger is a professional dancer, turned corporate executive, turned amateur dancer, entrepreneur, and PTA mom. Her blog, Rhonda’s Musings, provides readers with essays about life from a middle-aged woman’s perspective. Her blog is both sentimental and witty, always with a message of positivity and moving forward.

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