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Don’t Judge Me for My Hair Color: The Question of Going Grey

By Rhonda Chiger February 24, 2025 Lifestyle

There is a growing trend for middle-aged women to embrace getting older by letting their hair go naturally grey. This trend is all over social media, fashion magazines, and the like. My response is, “Good for you! I salute you, sister, but don’t judge me if I keep coloring my hair.”

What If You Don’t Want to Go Grey?

There seems to be a backlash on women like me, who are perfectly happy with their choice to continue to color their hair. This isn’t a conspiracy against feminism; in fact, this is a vote for letting women choose what they want to do with their body and what grows from it.

I am embracing growing older, but admittedly, I want to look and feel good doing it. So, yes, I exercise, wear makeup, and dye my hair. More and more, however, as I scroll through social media, women who continue to maintain some kind of a beauty routine as they approach their golden years seem to be ridiculed and publicly berated.

The Women’s Movement Influence

This is reminiscent of the bra burnings of the 1970s when women protested the Miss America Pageant because they felt that the pageant, with its focus on beauty and shape, was too exploitive of women. You were either for women’s rights (bra burners) or against them (everyone else), with nothing in between. This part of history can be seen as the start of the Women’s Movement when women wanted to be known for more than their looks and have a career other than that of housewife.

And, indeed, it was this movement that I witnessed growing up that convinced me that I could have a career, earn my own money, and not be reliant on a husband. It was because of these bra burners and the pioneers of the Equal Rights Amendment that I was able to climb the corporate ladder and buy my own house.

But now, as a new generation – my generation – of women carry the torch forward, determined to set an example of feminism in their golden years, the underlying mission seems to have been forgotten: preventing the discrimination of women!

The movement was all about women discovering and standing up for themselves. Everybody is a unique being. For some reason, though, if you didn’t burn your bra in the 1970s, or don’t let your hair go gray in 2025, you are betraying women and not asserting your rights. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Empowering Yourself

There are numerous reasons to let my hair go grey. Expense, time, and if you believe everything you read, going grey gives you a feeling of empowerment. Perhaps it’s just me, but my hair color doesn’t give me a sense of empowerment; what empowers me is my ability to make my own choices, to stand up for myself, and to truly be an independent contributing member of society.

For me, continuing to color my hair fits in with the movement’s initial thesis: all women can be who they want to be; we are individuals with equal rights and opportunities.

Choosing your hair color and style is an individual preference. I support women who go au naturel. All I ask is for that same sort of tolerance should I choose a different route (or should I say root?). As Shirley Chisolm said, “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” So, to coin a phrase from the 1970s, “Women Unite” and let’s not let a few grey hairs divide us.

Also read, Thinking About Going Grey? Here’s What to Really Expect.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you plan on going grey or dye until you die? How has the 1970s Women’s Movement influenced you? When it comes to your own individual style, do you tend to go with the trends, or do you have a signature style that has been with you for years?

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Shelly Little

To color or not to color your hair is a personal decision and no one should be judged on which they choose.
I used to dye my hair black because it was easier when I travelled and blended in, my natural hair color looks like I paid a salon $500 to put all the colors that come out naturally.
During Covid I stopped coloring my hair and it still looks like I paid a fortune to have it colored at 64 and people stare at my hair color to this day.

I don’t like to be judged for coloring my hair when it is natural.

Patricia

I turned 70 yesterday! Happy birthday to me! During the pandemic I let my hair grow out to gray. It did not make me feel good as I looked tired and lack luster (that’s just ME!) while so many look great as they gray. I went back to coloring and really feel I look youthful and that makes my mood lift and gives me positive energy. At this age it is #1 about feeling good but also about what I want to put out into the world. I totally agree with our writer above that we are so lucky that we can choose whatever we want for ourselves. I just cut my shoulder length long hair and went to a style just like our writer’s above and yes, I wear make up and perfume, too. My husband and I will celebrate 50 years of marriage this year and are going strong and loving our lives! Viva the freedom to choose when many are losing these rights on so many levels.

Rhonda Chiger

I am glad my piece resonated with you. Thanks for commenting.

Teresa

Happy Belated Birthday!

Kat

Oh please, it’s just hair, who cares? All indivuals. Even if you color hair , your skin could also give you away.
It’s easier to turn grey ,or white , if you always had lighter hair. That was me. I started getting white spots ! So,had my hair lighter highlighted. I ‘ordered’ white as I look worse in grey,lol. My hairdresser said she doesn’t know what my hair color is….she calls it “Icelandic blond”…very fun. I tell friends with my similar color the name, they love it.
You can run ,but not hide from time.
As nice as dark hair is, you’ll have to get used to the change too. It’s a lot of time and money to keep up an incredible different hair color. Root color tells the story, not cute.

My daughter colored her hair younger like many, the texture way dry, not silky. She got breast cancer in early thirties. Lost her hair. It came back a way darker color than original! Great shine and texture! Thank God. She decided then to leave it. Beautiful….8 years later she’s finally changed it a little again. Nice to see her back,but I miss the healthy dark hair.

Time shows in more than hair. Good news….different hair color may have to bring new clothes! Don’t have to wear grandma clothes! Exercise! Eat right, talk to people,get out,avoid alcohol…yes , I miss that!

Rhonda Chiger

I am so glad my piece resonated with you. I appreciate your comments.

Rhonda Chiger

I’m glad my piece struck a chord with you. Thanks for your comments.

Gina Carr

Thanks! I enjoyed it. I’m struggling with this very issue. Although I’ve been coloring, I’m letting a little gray peak through to see how I like it. I fear I will feel older if I look older so I imagine I will dye till I die, as you say. Thanks for the food for thought about this issue. 

Rhonda Chiger

Glad my piece resonated with you. Thanks for your comment.

Susan

I would definately color my hair! If I could. Ive colored for years but after menopause my scalp flew its finger at me and said no more with itchy itchy rashes that sent me to urgent care. Apparently my scalp would no longer tolerate the chemicals in hair dye. So I say Do it! Color your hair! Have fun!

Rhonda Chiger

Love your attitude! Glad my piece resonated with you.

The Author

Rhonda Chiger is a professional dancer, turned corporate executive, turned amateur dancer, entrepreneur, and PTA mom. Her blog, Rhonda’s Musings, provides readers with essays about life from a middle-aged woman’s perspective. Her blog is both sentimental and witty, always with a message of positivity and moving forward.

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