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Don’t Judge Me for My Hair Color: The Question of Going Grey

By Rhonda Chiger February 24, 2025 Lifestyle

There is a growing trend for middle-aged women to embrace getting older by letting their hair go naturally grey. This trend is all over social media, fashion magazines, and the like. My response is, “Good for you! I salute you, sister, but don’t judge me if I keep coloring my hair.”

What If You Don’t Want to Go Grey?

There seems to be a backlash on women like me, who are perfectly happy with their choice to continue to color their hair. This isn’t a conspiracy against feminism; in fact, this is a vote for letting women choose what they want to do with their body and what grows from it.

I am embracing growing older, but admittedly, I want to look and feel good doing it. So, yes, I exercise, wear makeup, and dye my hair. More and more, however, as I scroll through social media, women who continue to maintain some kind of a beauty routine as they approach their golden years seem to be ridiculed and publicly berated.

The Women’s Movement Influence

This is reminiscent of the bra burnings of the 1970s when women protested the Miss America Pageant because they felt that the pageant, with its focus on beauty and shape, was too exploitive of women. You were either for women’s rights (bra burners) or against them (everyone else), with nothing in between. This part of history can be seen as the start of the Women’s Movement when women wanted to be known for more than their looks and have a career other than that of housewife.

And, indeed, it was this movement that I witnessed growing up that convinced me that I could have a career, earn my own money, and not be reliant on a husband. It was because of these bra burners and the pioneers of the Equal Rights Amendment that I was able to climb the corporate ladder and buy my own house.

But now, as a new generation – my generation – of women carry the torch forward, determined to set an example of feminism in their golden years, the underlying mission seems to have been forgotten: preventing the discrimination of women!

The movement was all about women discovering and standing up for themselves. Everybody is a unique being. For some reason, though, if you didn’t burn your bra in the 1970s, or don’t let your hair go gray in 2025, you are betraying women and not asserting your rights. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Empowering Yourself

There are numerous reasons to let my hair go grey. Expense, time, and if you believe everything you read, going grey gives you a feeling of empowerment. Perhaps it’s just me, but my hair color doesn’t give me a sense of empowerment; what empowers me is my ability to make my own choices, to stand up for myself, and to truly be an independent contributing member of society.

For me, continuing to color my hair fits in with the movement’s initial thesis: all women can be who they want to be; we are individuals with equal rights and opportunities.

Choosing your hair color and style is an individual preference. I support women who go au naturel. All I ask is for that same sort of tolerance should I choose a different route (or should I say root?). As Shirley Chisolm said, “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.” So, to coin a phrase from the 1970s, “Women Unite” and let’s not let a few grey hairs divide us.

Also read, Thinking About Going Grey? Here’s What to Really Expect.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you plan on going grey or dye until you die? How has the 1970s Women’s Movement influenced you? When it comes to your own individual style, do you tend to go with the trends, or do you have a signature style that has been with you for years?

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Roberta Sheahan

I don‘t color my hair. Not ALL of it anyway. Most of it is a glorious purple with the rest the natural silver. It’s not hair color; it’s an attitude

Susan M

It also depends on what color your natural grey is. I have friends with gorgeous white hair or darker grey with natural white highlights. I would go that route but mine is mousy and uneven so I continue to have it highlighted! Same with makeup – I feel more like me when I wear at least some. So I agree wholeheartedly. Do what makes you feel and look your best! Whatever!

Lee Ann Phinney

I personally will probably never go gray by choice. I’m 68 now, and still cover the gray and highlight my dark blonde hair. For some reason, this conversation reminds me of feeling shamed because I didn’t want to breast feed my daughter in 1986. I definitely feel empowered when I am making decisions for myself, not following a trend. I still wear makeup and dress to feel my best in my body at this age. I change my hairstyle every few years, because I get bored, not because I think my age should dictate how I wear my hair.

Rhonda Chiger

It’s interesting that you brought up the breast feeding dilemma as I almost used that analogy instead of the women’s rights movement. I, too, got opinions when I didn’t breast feed my son.
Thanks for your comments.

stephanie

I’m a 73 year old brunette who decided recently to let her hair go gray. The problem is, I hate it so much and want to go back to coloring it. But, my hair has thinned and I have dermatitis. If there was a safer way to keep coloring my hair I’d jump at it.

Last edited 1 year ago by stephanie
Karen

I totally agree! It is about my freedom to choose. I color my hair, Why? Because it is one part of growing older that I can control. I do it for me, because it gives me a boost, it isn’t for anyone else… my choice!!

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The Author

Rhonda Chiger is a professional dancer, turned corporate executive, turned amateur dancer, entrepreneur, and PTA mom. Her blog, Rhonda’s Musings, provides readers with essays about life from a middle-aged woman’s perspective. Her blog is both sentimental and witty, always with a message of positivity and moving forward.

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