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How to Feel Less Lonely by Focusing on What You Can Control

If you’re wondering how to feel less lonely, it is easy to feel like the situation is out of your control. After all, we can’t control how other people feel or think.

We can’t make someone want to be friends with us. We can’t make our partner want to pay attention to us. We can only influence our own lives directly.

If loneliness was the same thing as social isolation, “getting out there” and “doing more social things” would help. In reality, loneliness is more complicated.

Loneliness is not only the reality of our social situation, but, how we interpret our relationship with the world.

How to Feel Less Lonely by Focusing on Your Passions

Ironically, one of the first steps that we can take to combat loneliness is to focus on our passions. Not only will this help to build our self-confidence, but, it will also provide new opportunities to interact with other people who share our interests.

This reminds me of a quote by Maya Angelou, who said “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.”

How to Feel Less Lonely - “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” - Maya Angelou

We cannot control others, but, we can control ourselves.

We can choose to live life with passion and verve. We can dedicate our time to our interests. We can choose to be interesting people that others want to be around. We can give ourselves opportunities to interact with people who love to do the same things as us.

All of these activities are in our control.

Ironically, the more we focus on ourselves and our dreams, the more we will pull interesting people into our lives. This is the best way to fight back against loneliness at any age.

Do you agree that the first step to dealing with loneliness is to focus on understanding and improving ourselves? Why or why not? Please join the discussion.

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The Author

Margaret Manning is the founder of Sixty and Me. She is an entrepreneur, author and speaker. Margaret is passionate about building dynamic and engaged communities that improve lives and change perceptions. Margaret can be contacted at

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