The past few months have been hard on everyone but especially when you’re single. Being in self-isolation meant dealing with every issue that came up on your own whether it was financial, emotional, or even just working at overcoming sheer boredom.
And if you’re being honest with yourself, you are probably thinking it would be really nice to have a good man in your life to take some of this burden off your shoulders. But then you start thinking, the timing just isn’t right and may not be for quite a while.
I believe this is the perfect time to get yourself ready to attract the Quality Man you want to share your life and heart with. Most women skip this step and that’s part of why they can’t find the right man.
Here’s what I mean. Remember the movie Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner and the famous line he heard one night as he stood in the cornfields: “If you build it, he will come”?
Many women use this very mantra when they go out and date. They believe that simply putting a profile up on a dating site will attract a good man.
But what usually ends up happening is the men you want to meet don’t pay attention to your profile, whereas the men you’re so NOT interested in flood your email box with letters saying, “Hey Beautiful.” Right?
And when this happens over and over again it can lead you to think there are no good men out there or all the good ones are taken. The good news is there are good men out there but, your vibration needs to match theirs.
I can hear you saying, “What are you talking about, Lisa?”
Well, let’s say you’re not feeling very confident about who you are as a woman dating after 50, but you decide to try your luck on a dating site.
Guess who shows up? Men who also don’t feel good about themselves and often end up projecting this onto you by criticizing everything you do. Or, maybe you’re afraid of being alone. Guess who you’ll attract? Men who will ghost you and disappear.
You may not even be aware that these unintentional thoughts are running in your brain, but they are, and they push away the men you really want.
When the wrong men show up over and over again, it leads to frustration, and you can start doubting yourself and end up giving up on your dream of finding love after 50.
You might even justify giving up on your dream by thinking, “My kids and grandkids will keep me busy.” Newsflash: Kids and grandkids grow up and marry partners of their own while you find yourself 18 years older and still alone.
In truth, we are all amazing creators. You just have to choose what you want to create.
When you’re able to shift your mindset from the negative thoughts you’ve been running to “ I am The Prize, who wouldn’t want me,” you light up because you know who you are and what you have to offer a man and a relationship. More importantly, YOU BELIEVE IT!
And, when you believe it, that’s when you’ll see big changes in your life and love life happening.
The first thing you want to do is to get clear on your safety boundaries. I have clients who’ve found boyfriends during this time of Covid, and here’s how they’ve done it:
Use Zoom, FaceTime, or Google Duo versus the phone because a video call allows you to see a person’s mannerisms. On the phone, you are basing everything on their voice which doesn’t always match a person’s character.
If you decide you’d like to meet, use social distancing and take walks where you can be six feet apart. Maybe a picnic where you social distance or a restaurant that has social distancing protocols.
You’ll want to base this on your safety comfort zone and the regulations that apply to where you live. And don’t let someone pressure you. If you aren’t comfortable and he doesn’t honor this, then you’ll want to move on.
If each of you has spent these past few months in-bound, you can include him in your bubble but not before discussing the contact you’ve both had with other people – whether it’s in the grocery store, hairdresser, or just seeing friends. You want to be on the same page about this.
Dating during this pandemic has its plusses. You have an opportunity to get to know someone by building a friendship first versus making decisions based on instant attraction and chemistry.
And you can take it at a slower pace while having someone to share the interesting aspects of life right through Video Dating. And it may give you something to really look forward to at the end of the day.
Have fun and stay safe.
Have you ignored dating since the pandemic took over the globe? Are you willing to wait until restrictions lift or do you find yourself ready to start dating again? Do you think you can meet a man in the present situation? Please share your thoughts with our community, and let’s have a conversation.
Tags Senior Dating Advice