sixtyandme logo
We are community supported and may earn a commission when you buy through links on our site. Learn more

Are You Keeping Your Desires Secret?

By Joanie Marx June 16, 2023 Mindset

When was the last time you felt excited to share one or more of your innermost desires with someone but instead chose to remain silent?

Perhaps you didn’t feel they would support you. Maybe you’re allowing the desire to take shape so you feel clearer on how to communicate it.

Or, perhaps, this has been a reoccurring theme in your life whereby your innermost desires are rarely – if ever – shared openly.

If you’re someone who likes to share your desires with others, how often do you find yourself justifying those desires or apologizing for wanting more out of your life?

If you can relate to any of these, you are not alone.

In this article and accompanying video, we are going to explore what is needed to refocus and renew your relationship with your innermost desires.

From Excitement to Turmoil

When you consider most of our generation’s desires were born out of trauma and survival mode, it’s not surprising how many of us over 60 remain silent when it comes to sharing our desires.

For as much as our innermost desires can excite us, they can also stir up inner turmoil.

That turmoil is connected to unresolved trauma, feelings of unworthiness, and an unconscious attachment to limiting beliefs.

To refocus and renew your relationship with your desires first requires a better understanding of what’s behind the limiting beliefs that convince you that life would be easier keeping your true, inner desires a secret.

Downbeat and Gloominess

For several decades, Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends have highlighted that Baby Boomers “are more downbeat about their lives than are adults who are younger or older.”

Pew concluded their data indicates our generation’s lack of excitement for life is not related to aging but is, “…related to the attitudes and expectations about life they formed when they were young.” 

When it comes to embracing the excitement of your desires after 60, the way you went about getting your desires met at earlier stages of your life may be unconsciously affecting your level of happiness and fulfillment right now.

Therefore, something has to change.

Getting Our Desires Met

Most of our generation were taught to achieve our desires we must work hard and sacrifice fun until we have earned enough money, time, or authoritarian approval to enjoy having what we achieved.

For women of our generation, far too often getting our desires met were limited as society expected us to put everyone else’s needs before our own.

When we did go after our desires, the blowback of shame and blame forced many of us to feel guilty for wanting more out of life.

All of this kept a good majority of our generation disconnected from our true, authentic selves. Hiding behind conformity left many feeling embarrassed, fearful, or uncomfortable sharing our desires with others.

So, here you are, over 60 and wiser than ever. But how do you get your desires met at this stage of your life, let alone feel empowered to share them with those you trust?

5 Steps to Get Your Desires Met

Here are five effective and simple steps to refocus and renew your relationship with your desires.

Go to the Root

Unpack limiting beliefs about your desires from your emotional baggage. By getting to the root of why you feel life is easier if you keep your true, inner desires secret, you are freeing yourself from shame and blame, while reconnecting with your true, authentic self.

Be What It Is You Seek

Accept your worthiness to be, do, and experience your innermost desires right now. This is aligning your inner beliefs with what you desire to manifest in the outer world. In other words, you are your desire. When you embrace your worthiness, you embrace your desires.

Empower Your Voice

Fear of speaking openly about your desires stems from being shamed and blamed earlier in life. To overcome this, begin talking your desires out loud when you are alone. Record yourself if possible. Get comfortable hearing your true, authentic self speak your desires into existence.

Embrace Support

While we all want to be supported, most of our family and friends share similar limiting beliefs to our own. Therefore, to honor your desires, seek out support from people who are doing what you want and are specifically trained to help you get your desires met. This way your desires are being positively reflected instead of negatively deflected.

Build a Relationship with Your Desires

Make time every day to either journal your desires and/or visualize yourself enjoying your desires being fulfilled. Both are excellent methods for building a relationship with your desires, which fuels your passion for bringing them to life in your outer world.

I invite you to share in the comments how you honor your desires after 60.

In the meantime, please join me in the video where I will share additional insights, such as how to get your desires met with money, health, and relationships.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you aware of your desires? Do you talk about them out loud? Do you discuss them with others? Who makes up your support group and can you trust them to uplift you?

Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

1 Comment
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Geraldine Martinsen

Wow Joanie. Great article that I only just came across. Hadn’t even realised I had desires. Of course there are things I want to do but to actually & actively explore my rights of desire had never occurred to me. As you say brought up in an era of trauma, survival & shortage has certainly colored my whole life. Now that I’m fortunately financially comfortable and free of commitments I’ve been wondering what now? Your article has given me ‘permission’ to explore guilt free my desires. Thank you

The Author

Joanie Marx is a three-time bestselling author and the creator of the new, groundbreaking Refocus & Renew Your Life® online course series on Udemy. She is a graduate of the University of California, Berkeley, with a degree in Psychology, and a leading authority on refocusing and renewing your life.

You Might Also Like