Self-compassion practices are exercises that allow us to treat ourselves with the same warmth and understanding we would offer a dear friend. After decades of caring for others (children, partners, careers), learning to extend that kindness inward can become an act of self-love that significantly impacts our paradigm, as well as give a boost to our self-worth, which may need some extra TLC at this phase of life.
We can easily fall into a trap of believing that by midlife we should have it all figured out; that the window for dreaming has closed, that carving out time for self-care is selfish or indulgent, and that everything we’ve lost (youth, energy, opportunity) defines us. These myths erode our confidence and keep us from approaching this chapter with genuine curiosity and acceptance.
Each of these beliefs steadily undermines our confidence and well-being. Every opportunity we forego, every adventure we abstain from, every hope we abandon reinforces this negativity, and soon we can find ourselves in a downward spiral.
Letting go of these falsehoods frees us to approach this chapter with a more positive mindset, open to possibilities of new joy and fulfillment ahead and paves the way for growth, resilience, and renewed purpose.
As we embrace our 60s and beyond, cultivating self-compassion practices becomes a loving tribute to the wisdom we’ve gathered over the years. These five self-compassion exercises invite us to slow down, settle into our body, and offer ourselves the same kindness we’ve so freely given to others for such a long time.
Each practice is designed to help us nurture a deeper, more trusting relationship with ourselves.
Cultivating self-compassion starts with your breath. Pause two or three times a day for a focused inhale and exhale, letting each cycle anchor you in the present moment. During each exhale, softly repeat a mantra such as “I am here” or “I deserve kindness.” This gentle affirmation rewires your inner dialogue, replacing harsh self-criticism with steady warmth.
When stress or self-doubt surfaces, wrap your arms around yourself in a comforting embrace. Hold the hug for at least 20 seconds while inhaling deeply. Feel your hands resting on your shoulders or upper arms, sending signals of safety back to your brain. This simple gesture releases oxytocin (the body’s natural “cuddle hormone”) and reminds you that you’re worthy of your own care.
Set quiet reminders on your phone or calendar four times daily. When the alert chimes, stop whatever you’re doing for 30 seconds and ask: “What am I feeling right now?” Acknowledge your emotion, then offer yourself the phrase, “May I be kind to myself.” These pauses build muscle memory for kindness and defuse patterns of rumination.
Each evening, jot down three moments from the day that warmed your heart. They can be as simple as a bird singing, a text from a friend, or the taste of your favorite tea. Maintaining this gratitude log will train you to notice and celebrate everyday blessings, reinforcing a compassionate lens through which to view your life.
Find two uninterrupted minutes. Close your eyes and silently repeat: “May I be safe and protected, may I be happy and at peace, may I live with ease.” Then extend each phrase to someone you love, and finally to a neutral or challenging person. This brief practice broadens your heart, nurturing compassion for yourself and others alike.
These five daily rituals can be your steppingstones toward lasting self-compassion. Try to incorporate one or more today; notice how your inner voice shifts from critique to care.
Retirement often brings a swirl of questions about identity, worth, and daily structure. Begin by noticing your inner voice whenever worry arises.
These intentional dialogue shifts reframe retirement from an ending into a new opportunity for self-compassion and discovery.
Grief can surface unexpectedly, whether prompted by health scares or the passing of someone close to you. Infuse compassion into your sorrow by acknowledging each emotion: sadness, anger, relief, or guilt.
By leaning gently into the pain, you give yourself permission to heal at your own pace.
Midlife can spark surprising new beginnings in relationships and passions. Tap into your curiosity by asking, “What small step could bring joy today?”
This “second act” isn’t a rehash of the past but a creative journey, fueled by the inner kindness you now enjoy.
Use these prompts to shine a light on self-judgments and begin rewriting them.
This intentional celebration cultivates a compassionate lens toward your own achievements and qualities. By including these prompts in your routine, you’ll deepen self-awareness, interrupt harsh inner dialogue, and nourish a kinder relationship with yourself.
Gather a small group of women who share a desire to uplift one another. Choose a comfortable, distraction-free location (someone’s living room, a community center, or a quiet café).
This regular circle becomes fertile ground for empathy, mutual encouragement, and fresh perspectives on challenges big and small.
When distance or schedules make in-person meetings tricky, turn to digital platforms.
Virtual connections ensure you never have to face a tough moment alone, and they stretch your circle of support beyond geographic limits.
Pair up with a “compassion buddy” who checks in on your self-kindness goals and vice versa.
This one-on-one support amplifies your commitment, helping you stay grounded in compassion even when life gets hectic.
Through kindness circles, virtual meetups, and peer coaching, you can reinforce the self-compassion practices described and at the same time, cultivate a network of women who lift each other up. Choose one community-building step today and watch how your own kindness blossoms, both inward and outward!
Thank you as always for reading.
Which of the self-compassion practices do you hope to try first? Share your intentions with us in the comments! Have you tried any of the self-compassion practices described? What lessons or tips do you have to share with us? Do you have other thoughts about self-compassion that you are willing to share or a story about how self-compassion has played a role in your life? What do you think is our greatest challenge in treating ourselves with self-compassion? What are some strategies you think could be helpful in overcoming them?
Tags Finding Happiness
Sometimes the simplest, subtle actions have the greatest effect.
Every so often I do a mindfulness meditation course. This autumn I’m doing one that encompasses CBT which I’m sure will be very interesting.
Fantastic article! Im keeping this to re-read, and re-read…
Thank you so much. May you be blessed!
Most of the advice given relates to convincing ourselves of our own worth and getting positive feedback from groups such as “kindness circles”. There is a way to conquer all doubts about yourself and gain meaning and comfort every minute – and that is through prayer. God is available 24/7 and will assure you always that your life is meaningful – a gift given to you and which you can offer to others.
I find it interesting that the assumption of folks who believe in god assume that everyone believes the same. I am happy that your belief is meaningful to you. I hope you would consider that assuming others would do as you do is dismissive of every individual’s personal choice, which is as valid as yours is.
Thank you for this article! There is a LOT in here to work with.
My favorite standout so far is this, and I’ll bet it applies to a whole lot of us:
“Use a phrase like “I honor my years of contribution” whenever self-doubt surfaces.”
This is true for honoring a marriage that ended in death or divorce; honoring a life’s work from which one is now retired; honoring decades of the hard work of child-raising that didn’t turn out to be rewarding or satisfying; honoring any endeavor that you really worked on, regardless of the outcome. The outcome is about fate/chance/what others do or fail to do; but the contribution is yours, and that is what to honor.
I really appreciate this.
Love the article Joan , (so much of content and usable tips) and love your affirmation “I honor my years of contribution” . Agree with you Liz.
My daily act of self-compassion/self-care at age 60 , settled in Australia , is to start my day with “me time” before i get scattered away in the service of others, and the curved balls of the day. This is a necessity-luxury i could never afford myself previously while raising a family and working full time in hectic Dubai.