Women over 60 are still feeling sensual and sexy, and we’re more empowered than ever before to explore our feelings and have the kinds of sexual experiences that we want to have. Many of us are dating again after a divorce or widowhood, and many other women over 60 have never stopped dating.
But no matter where you are in the relationship game, there are a few things that you need to know about sex after 60.
Here are a few tips and reminders for women over 60 for how to enjoy your sex life while still staying safe and healthy:
Unless you’re in a committed monogamous relationship, it’s important for women over 60 to use condoms with all of their sex partners. Even though we’re past the age where pregnancy is a risk, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are still a risk factor for women of any age – and seniors are one of the fastest-growing risk groups for STIs.
As part of the hormone changes that our bodies go through as we go through menopause and get older, many women over 60 tend to experience vaginal dryness. Many women over 60 might need to use some personal lubricants to ensure smooth, satisfying sexual intercourse. Be sure to use water-based lubricants with condoms, to keep the condom from being damaged by the lubricant.
Many women over 60 are dating online for the first time. Along with sexual safety, online dating raises its own set of safety precautions to be aware of. Always look up your dates on Google before meeting in person – look for any red flags, arrest records, and other signs that this person might not be safe and trustworthy. And when you meet your date in person for the first time, be sure to meet in a public place. If you feel uncomfortable, politely end the date and part ways.
If you have recently gotten out of a sexless marriage or a long duration without a regular partner, you might be suffering from a lack of self-confidence or wondering if your sex drive is gone forever. But women over 60 don’t naturally lose their sex drive – despite what media images might portray, it’s not “normal” for healthy women our age to never want to have sex; most women our age still have a healthy appetite for sex and intimacy, and we’re learning how to talk about it and ask for what we need.
Many women post-menopause discover that they have a new clarity of purpose and a stronger sense of self; as Gloria Steinem says in this article, “What we lose in those menopausal years is everything we needed to support another person. What we keep is everything we need to support ourselves.”
As part of supporting ourselves, we need to keep talking openly about what we need from our sex partners and what we want to experience in life – in and out of the bedroom. Don’t feel that you are unworthy of desire or that your needs or concerns are not worth discussing.
Sex after 60 is like anything else in life – it often requires complex negotiations and communication to get what we want. But we need to keep having these conversations with our partners and with our friends. Hopefully the end result will be a longer, healthier, happier erotic existence for all of us!
What sexual health precautions do you take as a woman over 60? How has your sex life changed or improved since you were younger? Please join the conversation.
Watch our interviews with these amazing dating coaches:
Dating After 60: Maximize Your Dating Success at Any Age – David Wygant Interview
Dating Advice for Women Over 50 – Interview with Lisa Copeland
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