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Sex After 60 – What You Need to Know

By Margaret Manning October 23, 2013 Dating

Women over 60 are still feeling sensual and sexy, and we’re more empowered than ever before to explore our feelings and have the kinds of sexual experiences that we want to have. Many of us are dating again after a divorce or widowhood, and many other women over 60 have never stopped dating.

But no matter where you are in the relationship game, there are a few things that you need to know about sex after 60.

Here are a few tips and reminders for women over 60 for how to enjoy your sex life while still staying safe and healthy:

Use Condoms

Unless you’re in a committed monogamous relationship, it’s important for women over 60 to use condoms with all of their sex partners. Even though we’re past the age where pregnancy is a risk, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are still a risk factor for women of any age – and seniors are one of the fastest-growing risk groups for STIs.

Use Lubricants

As part of the hormone changes that our bodies go through as we go through menopause and get older, many women over 60 tend to experience vaginal dryness. Many women over 60 might need to use some personal lubricants to ensure smooth, satisfying sexual intercourse. Be sure to use water-based lubricants with condoms, to keep the condom from being damaged by the lubricant.

Stay Safe with Online Dating

Many women over 60 are dating online for the first time. Along with sexual safety, online dating raises its own set of safety precautions to be aware of. Always look up your dates on Google before meeting in person – look for any red flags, arrest records, and other signs that this person might not be safe and trustworthy. And when you meet your date in person for the first time, be sure to meet in a public place. If you feel uncomfortable, politely end the date and part ways.

Focus On Your Needs

If you have recently gotten out of a sexless marriage or a long duration without a regular partner, you might be suffering from a lack of self-confidence or wondering if your sex drive is gone forever. But women over 60 don’t naturally lose their sex drive – despite what media images might portray, it’s not “normal” for healthy women our age to never want to have sex; most women our age still have a healthy appetite for sex and intimacy, and we’re learning how to talk about it and ask for what we need.

Many women post-menopause discover that they have a new clarity of purpose and a stronger sense of self; as Gloria Steinem says in this article, “What we lose in those menopausal years is everything we needed to support another person. What we keep is everything we need to support ourselves.”

As part of supporting ourselves, we need to keep talking openly about what we need from our sex partners and what we want to experience in life – in and out of the bedroom. Don’t feel that you are unworthy of desire or that your needs or concerns are not worth discussing.

Sex after 60 is like anything else in life – it often requires complex negotiations and communication to get what we want. But we need to keep having these conversations with our partners and with our friends. Hopefully the end result will be a longer, healthier, happier erotic existence for all of us!

What sexual health precautions do you take as a woman over 60? How has your sex life changed or improved since you were younger? Please join the conversation.


Watch our interviews with these amazing dating coaches:

Dating After 60: Maximize Your Dating Success at Any Age – David Wygant Interview

Dating Advice for Women Over 50 – Interview with Lisa Copeland

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I have found love again after losing my husband a few years ago. Although we had three children, I found myself unsatisfied with our sex life. I don’t believe I ever had an orgasm unless I satisfied myself afterward. The last several years of our marriage it was pretty much “sexless,” and he was not very affectionate for a long time. He had a lot of health issues that may have contributed to much of this. Anyway, I reconnected with my high school sweetheart after 40 years, and we have had the most amazing sex and were able to have the most incredible orgasms. We have been in our relationship for two years and have been living together for the past six months. At 60, we both are aware of our “limitations” with performance, but lately, I occasionally seem to not be able to “come” even though he performed beyond belief. What is wrong with me? I love this man very much and want to be sure I can satisfy him in all aspects. We talk about anything and everything, but this is new to us, and I want him to know it’s not him. Why is it me? What could be wrong?

The Author

Margaret Manning is the founder of Sixty and Me. She is an entrepreneur, author and speaker. Margaret is passionate about building dynamic and engaged communities that improve lives and change perceptions. Margaret can be contacted at

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