7 Tips for the Sober Curious
Society has created such a stigma around being an “alcoholic” that we have an image of a homeless man sitting on a park bench when we hear that word. As a result of this stereotype many people who are drinking too much are able to reassure themselves that they are fine as they are still fully functional.
After all, they don’t drink in the mornings!
The societal norms around drinking have made it so that people who decide to quit are subject to questions and (ironically) inferences that they must have a “problem” if they are not drinking.
However, the good news is that there is a cultural shift going on as more and more people explore an alcohol-free lifestyle.
The Sober Curious Movement
The Sober Curious movement is a growing trend that emphasizes mindfulness and self-discovery. It fits right in with the modern focus on wellness. After all what is the point of eating organic, doing yoga, exercising daily and buying expensive beauty products if we are going to drink a toxin which will undo all the benefits!
Author Ruby Warrington coined the phrase “sober curious” in her book of the same title. As someone with seven years of sobriety, I can vouch for her inspiring subtitle: “The Blissful Sleep, Great Focus, Limitless Presence and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol.”
Interestingly, the sober curious movement is characterized by people who don’t necessarily have a “problem.” They are simply questioning the marketing messages and the societal pressure to drink alcohol at every occasion – from a christening to a wedding to a funeral. The sober curious set are often ex-party girls and boys just looking for a healthier lifestyle.
They are simply wondering what their life would look like without alcohol in it.
This movement is also good news for those of us who have become dependent on alcohol. There is now a great answer for those annoying people who are always asking questions that infer that you are an “alcoholic” because you don’t drink.
We can just say:
“I’m sober curious so I’m taking a break for a while – I’ll let you know how it goes!”
What to Drink When You Don’t Drink!
Along with sober curiosity we’ve seen a significant growth in the alcohol-free drinks industry as more and more people become aware of the harmful effects of alcohol on our health.
Wherever you live in the world, you will find some delicious choices. No longer do nondrinkers have to be happy with a coke or a glass of water. The vast range of alcohol-free alternatives make it so much easier to socialize without alcohol and when we get that 6pm urge to open a bottle of wine we can just open a bottle of alcohol-free wine instead.
The sober curious movement has inspired many people to take a break from alcohol with a view to living a mindful, intentional and alcohol-free life.
7 Tips for the Sober Curious
Make a Why List
You may start your Sober Curious period with great enthusiasm, but your motivation may waver after a while. That’s why you need a Why list. For example, are you taking a break from the booze to improve your health, to be more productive, to get fitter or to improve your relationships? Keep a sober curious journal and write your why list on the front cover.
Educate Yourself
Once you discover the harm alcohol does to the body and brain, your desire to drink will diminish. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter or Bamboozled by Ken Middleton. There are plenty of QuitLit memoirs out there as well as podcasts featuring experts and inspiring recovery stories. Tribe Sober has a weekly podcast available on Apple or Spotify.
Discover Alternatives
There are plenty of fun activities that don’t involve alcohol. Instead of opening the wine at 6pm put on your headphones and go for a long walk instead. Discover some new interests and learn something new. Look at meetup.com for ideas about hobbies and udemy.com for hundreds of low-cost courses.
Find a Support Network
Tell your friends and your family that you are sober curious and will be taking a break from alcohol for a while. Tell them you will need their support and they are less likely to try to convince you to have “just one.” Find a friend to be your sober buddy or join a sobriety group like Tribe Sober who will connect you with others on the same path.
Try Yoga and Meditation
A break from alcohol is an excellent opportunity to try yoga and meditation. Sobriety enables us to connect with ourselves and to be fully present in the moment. If you haven’t tried yoga before, then there are plenty of free videos and you can download meditation apps on your phone such as Calm and Headspace.
Take It One Day at a Time
Remember, you are just curious! So don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Sobriety is a journey, and it’s about progress not perfection. If you have a slip up, then don’t beat yourself up – just start again the next day. Note the benefits you are experiencing in your journal and find other ways to treat yourself.
Review Your Progress
So how did your life feel without alcohol? Many people enjoy the clarity of thought and the extra energy that comes with sobriety and decide to keep it going. Taking a break is a great way to test your dependence on alcohol. If you found it really difficult to do this alone then join a group and try an alcohol-free challenge like the 30-Day Sober Jumpstart.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Are you sober curious? Do you take regular breaks from alcohol? Do you hate the thought of losing your nightly glass(es) of wine? Have you noticed that the young people in your life drink less than our generation did at their age?
Tags Healthy Aging Inspiration
I quit drinking at 50 I had started at 16. I am 23 years clean and sober. I worked bars and night clubs until I was 42. I quit because my son had turned 8 and I didn’t want him to ever seem drunk or hungover. Most of the baby Boomers I knew grew up when drinking and partying was the thing to do. Parents coming back from the war drank and partied so we did too. We called it social drinking but there were a lot of drunk parents and their teenagers. Most of the Boomers I knew have all quit drinking. The alcoholics my age are mostly dead. Now I see many people who weren’t the big partiers like we were are now trying to keep drinking like they used to but after one or two wine or scotch they are slurring and staggering and not very healthy. We partied grew up and quit! One day at a time!
congrats on your 23 years of sobriety Sharon – you were right to quit when you were 50. I left it a bit later (63) but at 7 years sober I’m convinced it’s one of the best things we can do for our health and happiness as we get older.
There was a show a few years back done by a UK doctor who shows the proven link for cancer. It really scared me and made me think about it. Its a socially acceptable poison, right?! Makes sense it can kill.
I read a blog post here about taking a break for 66 days. People tend to not think of it if it appears temporarily not drinking .
I am sober curious but I have a trip to Europe for July and duh I’m going to want to explore Int’l liquor. I’m not sure I could resist. I actually love the taste of fermented or distilled drinks. Its more to do with taste. But I notice even 1 and I feel off and, I certainly have noticed how much better I feel sans alcohol.
I socialize without alcohol a lot, club soda with lemon or lime and its goes un noticed that I am not drinking vodka or some clear spirit. So I dont have any discussions. And unless its my sister who wants to have cocktails with her big sister, no one pressures me. Its that yummy tasting wine, crisp draught beer or gin cocktail that do it LOL. I don’t find mocktails enticing and non-alcoholic wine is grape juice. Better the club soda. ✌️
yes the evidence linking alcohol to 7 different types of cancer is in – I’ve had breast cancer and so have many women in our community who drank for years. Check out Tribe Sober podcast to hear Dr Tim Stockwell talk about “the deadly secret we need to share”. That blog post about a 66 day break was from me (it takes 66 days to build a new neural pathway) – if you would like online, audio and community support for 66 alcohol free days just drop me a line janet@tribesober.com